Chapter5 : Pooh & Singh Jiju
Let us now talk about a sane person who has been sucked into an insane world i.e. Singh Jiju, DeeDee’s better (rather quite better) half!
I know Singh Jiju for more than 6years and I can tell you that in these 6years, I have not left any chance to pester him too (like I pester the entire world)…. (Inner Pooh : “I seriously feel sorry for him…how he handles this mad gang!! Hats-off to him!!)…
Me and Singh Jiju have had many friendly debates on general topics ranging from religion to politics to movies....and every single time, I have had to give-in coz Singh Jiju knows his stuff....whereas I play around with half-baked knowledge...LOL
Let us start with Singh Jiju’s eating habits. He has a very selective palette and he eats very slowly (Inner Pooh : “Tooooo slowwww”). Now, do I need to explicitly compare him with us? Anyways, let me try to give this a shot! So, we three (Pooh, DeeDee, Sonu) are Foodies….we can eat anything and everything….(as long as its vegetarian for me & DeeDee)…There have been incidents when Singh Jiju was appalled at seeing, what me & DeeDee were ‘devouring’!!! ROFL. We three are very ‘fast-eaters’…we don’t eat, we gobble up! In fact, me and Sonu had tracked this formula that our first helping of the dinner (yeahhhh we take multiple helpings when we eat together) completes exactly at 7minutes into an episode (of any series we were watching)….and our dinner is wrapped up somewhere between 15 to 18-minutes of an episode….Now when it comes to Singh Jiju, his food would not complete even after a one hour-long episode ends…I think he seriously loves his food :D
It was Singh Jiju who introduced us to Marvel-verse. It is because of him that we have now watched (Inner Pooh: “And you have forgotten too..!!”) all the Marvel movies. We are now such Marvel experts that we know that we are not to exit the cinema hall immediately after the movie ends….We keep standing and waiting for the ‘Post-Credits’….We do not even leave after that…We wait for the ‘Post Post-Credits’ ….LOL…
Now let us get into few more scenes where Singh Jiju is ‘tortured’ by Pooh….LOL…..
Singh Jiju is a geek when it comes to technology…he loves spending on expensive tech gadgets and then exploring all their features in details…for people like me this is eyes-rolling…I would rather book a ‘fixed-deposit’ than spending on stupid gadgets….for me as long as my mobile phone allows me to make calls, do WhatsApp, access Google search and Gmail, take some out-of-focus pics (that’s my another talent)…I am happy…I do not need it to do anymore!! Anyways, let me take you guys through this particular scene.
I enter DeeDee’s & Singh Jiju’s house, ask DeeDee for sanitizer (#pandemicphobia), liberally spray it all over my hand AND over my mobile phone. Singh Jiju is flabbergasted seeing this. I then roughly wipe the mobile with my kurta/top and throw the phone onto the bed/sofa (Singh Jiju’s heart is in his mouth by now!!!)
Singh Jiju (very ‘saintly’ and ‘faintly’ murmurs): “Di (aka elder sis), you guys are seriously not worthy of gadgets…now I understand why you do not want to spend more than Rs 15-20K on a mobile phone!!”
Me (like a naughty kid being caught): “I just very lightly sprayed the sanitizer and immediately wiped it off…”
Singh Jiju (nodding his head): …..
Inner Pooh: “Silly Lady!! Remember?? You spent Rs 5K on getting the screen repaired….the mobile phone guys said they found water inside the phone…. but poor guys had no idea it was sanitizer killing away Corona germs inside every damn circuit of your phone!!! I wish there was some solution to sanitize your stupid brain!!”
Singh Jiju started driving recently, 1-2 years back….and he is very possessive about his car…..Whenever I get into a car (not Uber, of course), I feel as if I am going on a long-drive!!! There have been many incidents with Pooh, DeeDee, Singh Jiju and ‘The Car’….I am just merging them all together to give you a summary….
DeeDee (pulling me aside): “You know Singh Ji has just started to drive…so he needs to concentrate on the road…so please please please shut your chatter-box and stay quiet in the car….”
Me, nodding my head, open the backdoor of the car, get inside and shut the car door….
DeeDee (turning back from her shotgun seat): “Can you not bang the door every time???”
Me (looking at her and back to the door and back to Singh Jiju in the driver’s seat): ………. (sorryyyyyy, ‘The Car’)
Few minutes into the journey, a loud smack on the car window….!!!
DeeDee (turning back from her shotgun seat): “What was that sound???”
Me: “There is a mosquito in the car…I am just trying to kill it…”
DeeDee: “Are you nuts?? Window would crack!!!”
Inner Pooh: “Just like her brain…..”
Me: “Seriously?? They should make these windows unbreakable….”
Singh Jiju (patiently): “Di, suppose there is an accident, if these windows are unbreakable, how would people break open the window and come out??”
Me: “Ohh…that’s a valid point Singh Jiju….”
Inner Pooh: “Lady, Your General-Knowledge is seriously general….”
Few more minutes pass….me fidgeting in the backseat…trying to shoo away the mosquito with my mobile phone….thinking this was supposed to be a long-drive…where is the music??....
Me: “Can we please turn on some music???”
Singh Jiju (carefully maneuvering the car through a crowded place): …………………
DeeDee (glaringly): “Just let him cross this place, will then play something…..for now, let him focus on the road….”
DeeDee and Singh Jiju enter our house…and even before they settle down….
Me: “Singh Jiju, some juice? Or Coffee?”
Singh Jiju (politely): “Not now Di, may be later…”
Me: “Should I order something to eat???”
Inner Pooh (rolling her eyes): “We know you are not going to cook….”
DeeDee: “Leave him be, he will ask when he wants to have something…why do you keep asking!!!”
Few hours later, after we all are done with food….
Me: “Singh Jiju, would you like to have some laddoo (India’s favourite sweet-dish)?”
DeeDee (from outside the room): “Please come here Madam….Laddoos? You have Laddoos at home?” (Dad being diabetic, me being fatso…we avoid keeping sweets at home….)
DeeDee: “Don’t tell me these are those 4-5 laddoos from the prasad, I Swiggy-ed you few days back…!!!”
Inner Pooh: “Smart DeeDee….I love her!!!!”
Me (gulping): “Yeahhh…they are not spoilt….I kept them in the refrigerator…”
DeeDee: “Are you insaneeeeee??? First, could you guys not finish them off in 4days??? Second, you are offering those stale laddoos to Singh Ji?????”
Me (doing complex calculation in my brain): “Arreee….I gave half to Dad and half to Maya on 2 days…had one half myself…2 or so are left…”
DeeDee (pissed-off all over again): …………………………………..
Singh Jiju, in the other room, was sure listening to all this hullabaloo going on outside….
Me (going back into the room): “Singh Jiju…may I order some ice-cream or pastries?”
Singh Jiju: “No Di, I am fine…I am too full after that double-egg chicken roll…”
Me: “Ohkk…may be some juice? Coffee?”
And the cycle continues………..
Same night, me Netflix-ing and eating the same laddoo..…’It isn’t bad….It is gooddd!! (Inner Poor : “We all know that you can eat anything and everything!!!!”)
So now you guys understand the pain and torture Singh Jiju has to suffer at our (ahem my) hands… LOL…
Jokes apart, he is awesome and his family is equally awesome….They may be DeeDee’s In-Laws officially, but they are like my own family….And yes, they also do suffer Pooh from time-to-time..…We will visit that chapter some other day…
P.S.: This is the last chapter on the main characters of the ‘Pooh Saga’….let’s wait and watch where Pooh (& Inner Pooh) travels next in this journey…<wink>….
