“What’s holding you back?”
(answered on mobile)
there’s much to unload with an answer to that question, but rather than biting his lip and dismissing it, arthur decides to stop holding things so close to his chest. he’s not a secretive man, all things considered. he’s just one that doesn’t see the immediate value of emotional openness. there is weakness that lives, the deeper you journey, in the lake of his chest. it’s an ugly thing. it swims in the form of some pathetic looking fish, eyes blown and mouth agape as it struggles, inherently, to exist.
“it’s a long story, mary,” he starts glumly, though his words are not tight and there is no knot in his chest. “in my experience, things always come back. now i’ll happily call myself one of ‘em bad me , but,” arthur pauses, stopping himself for a second as he searches for the best words to use to describe it. graceful as he sometimes could be, his mind blanks. “bad things happen to bad people, and y’know, the opposite. i’ve seen good folk get hurt on behalf of their associating with myself.”
there is vastness in oceans and it is reasonable to want to see it all, and with everything in mind—— mary deserves to know it in full.
there’s a murmur of reflective sadness in his eyes, but they finally meet hers; and, meekly, arthur allows it. “i’ll tell you, if you want. but i don’t much like talking about it.”