He watched with utter despair as the stone crumbled, and as it crumbled so did the world around him. The same stone he has always seen every year. He could recite every word that was scribbled onto it. He could close his eyes and walk from the apartment to that particular stone without difficulty. He had memorized everything, and everything that he remembered was being forgotten. The words, the stone. All of it was destroyed.
He froze. Amidst battle, he froze. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. He could barely breathe. Brown eyes stared at the broken stone, not hearing the shouts of his comrades. “Mahiru!” Blood splattered the boy’s face as his servamp got in the way of the sword that had been coming his way.
“Mahiru, mommy loves you.” Her eyes. Those warm brown irises that would turn into a shade of amber when the sun hit them, turning into a dark copper color when angry. She held warmth and love for the young boy. A smile that lit up their surroundings and lifted his spirits. “Mahiru, come here please.” Her voice was always gentle, loving. Barely had she ever raised her voice to him. “Come here, Mahiru.”
A loud crash and a scream of horror and another one of agony. Sirens filled the air. Red was all he knew. That smile was gone. The warmth was gone. Everything turned black and white with grief. For the only color that painted his small world was the one he watched pool around his mother as other people tried to help. He was lost. He was alone. Why wasn’t anyone helping him? Why can’t he move?
“Mom?” He would cry out at night, his body trembling in fear. No one would come in. Tremulously sobbing, smothering his cries with a pillow. He felt empty. His uncle went in and assessed the situation. He sat beside him and held him close, rocking him a speaking softly.
“Nii-san what’s wrong with your eve?”
The stone. The words. Everything he had known as a child torn to pieces. His mom was cruelly ripped from him at such a young age.
His gaze set and locked on the ruins of the grave. The only one that was broken—shattered. He started shaking. His breathing picking up speed while his eyes watered. What was wrong with him? How could he freak out over something like this?
“Everything will be okay, Mahiru.” Nothing was okay. How could anything be okay when his mom left him? “It may not be okay now, but it will be later. Mahiru, she wouldn’t want you to feel like this.”
“Then how am I supposed to feel?” he whispered softly as the tears spilled down his face. His friends that surrounded him stared in confusion before following his gaze, realization dawning on them.
“Mahiru! Come play with us!” They would tell me to go play. “Come on Mahi! Let’s have some fun!” But I just couldn’t bring myself to. It was the worst thing I can do to my cousins, but seeing them laughing and smiling, it hurt. It hurt me so much. I couldn’t bring myself to do that! I tried but I couldn’t! I faked a smile and felt disgusted with myself. What was wrong with me? He stared at his cousins and shook his head, returning to his uncle’s side. He felt tired, wanting to go home and just rest his eyes. He didn’t want to be there anymore.
He felt someone touch him and he just broke down. He pressed his hands against his eyes quietly crying as he tried to breathe regularly. He just panicked and his breathing became terrible. He felt someone rubbing his back but he couldn’t tell whom. People were talking, he couldn’t make out any voices. It all sounded as if he was underwater, drowning and trying to swim to the people on the surface but he just couldn’t pin point where they were.
Soon he couldn’t cry anymore and just slumped against whoever was beside him. He mumbled apologies, but to whom? It was unclear.
He could recite every word that had been scribbled onto that specific stone. He had memorized everything, and everything that he remembered was being forgotten. The words, the stone. All of it had been destroyed. His emotions that he had kept in him, they finally showed themselves. He was no longer the strong one, but he knew he had people that supported him and comforted him.
“I’m okay. Thank you for always being with me Kuro,” he murmured as his eyes closed and he slumped onto him.