peculiarities & misunderstandings
one thing that’s always stopped me from abusing drugs, aside from damaging my bodily health {no can do, no way sir.} was the fear of comedown. I’ve experienced some horrid comedowns from binging different substances on several occasions in 2019. therefore spent most of it in a dreamlike state. in april during 2 weekends i took xtasy 3 times, lsd twice. and various other chemicals mixed in. which resulted from complete serotonin depletion from xtasy, bad thing, no one told me about this back then, but for 2 weeks after, all i wanted was a rope to speak not so eloquently. but after that, i bounced back, and took 500-600 ug for the strongest research chemical ~ symbolically representing lsd, though having nothing in common with the latter. and even though it put me on offside mode for about a month afterwards, the most acute comedown i’ve ever felt was in the beginning of september at a club. i did not so few lines of xtasy once again. and was legit suicidal for the week after. could hardly believe how i felt. only thing that helped me was smoking as much weed as i possibly could in the days following.. - but why am i telling these stories, you /i/ might ask, the thing is, currently it seems like no matter if i take drugs, or not. I am on comedown regardless. every day i wake up, its the same thing all over again. except, i’m not in bad mood. at all. everything’s fine, except i can’t get up on time, go to bed - on time and take care of all the tasks i have at hand. i honestly don’t understand what the fuck is going on.
