#positively delectable

[doodleloopsy]

I did not know that Jack Black singing Hit Me Baby One More Time was something I needed in my life but GOOD LORD–

[tallandantagonistic]

Me: *leaves bathroom and closes door*

Mom: *Stops me in my path* “DiD yOu wAsH YoUr hAnDs?”

Me, a germaphobe: “No, mother, I didn’t wash my hands. Instead, I spent all that time to make elephant stew when I was in the bathroom. I located a mini zoo in the bathtub, chopped up some elephants, and poured them in a magic pot I got from a witch a few centuries ago. I then emptied out mini pots of gold I found at the end of the rainbow, and poured my stew in them, and drowned a few fairies to add flavor. I shared the stew with King Arthur. He said he found it positively delectable.”

Me: “nO F*CKING SH*T, I WASHED MY HANDS-”