I should be sleeping as I've got a 12 hour shift tomorrow at work, but all I can think about is Jonathan. I miss him more than anything and I just need to be back with him already. I know that he'll most likely be here in 11 days if all goes well with processing his visa, but I don't even want to wait that long. I wish I could just call him right now and tell him to come over and lay in bed with me. I just need his touch, the warm loving touch of his hands around me. What I would give to be able to lay in bed, wrapped in his arms right now. It's really not fair. Everything is perfect when we're together. I feel so content with life and truly happy. I'm so emotionally drained from being apart. All the lonely nights, the wishing, the longing for him to be next to me; I hate it. I hate it more than anything, but I also wouldn't trade it for the world.
Distance is a real bitch. Anyone who says that it's not is completely wrong. Everyone's like "distance makes the heart grow fonder," but honestly, I feel like distance sometimes tears us apart. The stress of a long distance relationship causes stupid fights that would never happen if we lived closer. It's so exhausting sometimes. The late nights he stays up, and the early mornings I get up, just so we can have some extra time to talk between our work/student lives. A long distance relationship is like my second job. Recently it's been like scheduled shifts that I get to sit down and talk to him. Squeezing in time here and there between work and school work. I'm exhausted, both physically and mentally.
In the end though, regardless of fights, little talking time, and distance in general, no one makes me feel more complete than he does. Before he came into my life, I really didn't think I was going to be able to fully love again; not after my first and most tragic relationship which ruined my life. He took down my walls though, he got me to open my heart up again and I couldn't be happier that I did. He's given me a reason to love again, and I love him with my whole heart. Jonathan is the reason why I've gotten through a lot of stuff over the last year and a half. Good times and bad times, he's always been there from the start. What started out as strangers on the internet, turned into best friends who fell in love. Hopefully in 11 days, I will have my better half back in my life for four months, spending every waking moment with him.
I need him more than anything right now. I miss him.
