ᯓ feat. osamu dazai, chuuya nakahara, ranpo edogawa, saigiku jouno ( separated )
contains. fem!reader, established relationship, crack energy, light fluff, embarrassed reader
word count. 864
based on this request
bsd m.list - main m.list
꒰ osamu dazai ꒱
You did not mean to say it out loud.
You were trying to log into your email while Dazai lounged dramatically across the couch, half upside-down, tie crooked, watching you with bored curiosity.
“Ugh, what did I even set this to?” you muttered.
“Perhaps,” he hummed, “it is something deeply meaningful. The name of your beloved boyfriend, perhaps?”
You snorted. “Yeah right.”
You typed quickly.
His eyes flicked to the keyboard.
He froze.
“…D4z4iOs4mu123?” he read slowly.
Your fingers stopped.
The room went silent.
You turned.
He was staring at you.
Slowly.
Very slowly.
He sat upright.
“You replaced the a’s with fours.”
“…Maybe.”
“And added numbers.”
“…Security.”
His hand went to his chest.
“All your passwords?”
You hesitated.
“…Most.”
Dazai gasped like you’d just confessed eternal devotion under moonlight.
“Do you love me that much?” he whispered dramatically.
“Shut up.”
He scooted closer, eyes sparkling in a way that meant danger.
“Wait—wait. What about your bank account?”
You covered your face.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.”
He shrieked.
“You trust me with your finances?! My name protects your wealth?!”
“It’s not like that!”
He grabbed your hands.
“Say it again.”
“I’m not saying it again!”
“My name,” he insisted. “In your passwords. It’s so romantic. So reckless. So unwise.”
“You are NEVER getting near my laptop again.”
He leaned close, grinning.
“I should change my name just to watch you panic.”
You shoved him off the couch.
He fell dramatically.
Still laughing.
꒰ chuuya nakahara ꒱
Chuuya only found out because you handed him your phone.
“Can you check the delivery status? I forgot the login.”
“Why me?”
“Because I’m cooking.”
He rolled his eyes and typed.
Username.
Password.
He paused.
“…What is this.”
You blinked. “What?”
“ChuuyaNakahara_RealOne99.”
You went still.
He slowly turned to look at you.
“…Real one?”
You panicked. “There are imposters in the world!”
“WHO.”
“I DON’T KNOW.”
He narrowed his eyes, then typed again.
Another app.
“ChuuyaGravityKing.”
You gasped. “Okay that one’s funny.”
“You made it that?”
You grabbed the phone.
“Give it back.”
He held it up out of reach.
“Is this all of them?”
“…No.”
His eyes widened slightly.
“…No?”
You mumbled.
“There’s ChuuyaIsShortButPerfect.”
He choked.
“WHAT.”
“It’s ironic affection!”
“DELETE THAT.”
“Never.”
His face was red now—bright red.
“You’re unbelievable.”
“But you’re smiling.”
“I am not!”
You leaned up and kissed his cheek.
“You’re my favorite password.”
He stared at you for a second.
Then muttered quietly:
“…You better not ever forget them.”
You grinned.
“As if I could.”
He walked away grumbling.
But his ears were still red.
꒰ ranpo edogawa ꒱
You made a mistake.
You left your laptop open.
He was bored.
And Ranpo does not resist mysteries.
He leaned forward, green eyes scanning.
Login screen.
Password hint: “Sweet.”
He smirked.
“Ah.”
He typed without hesitation.
“RanpoCandyKing!”
Access granted.
He gasped.
“No way.”
He opened another account.
“R4np0TheGreat.”
Another.
“BestDetectiveEver.”
Every single one.
He started laughing.
You walked in.
“Why are you laughing like that—”
He spun the chair toward you.
“You made ALL your passwords me.”
You froze.
“…No?”
“Yes.”
“…Okay maybe.”
He leaned back smugly.
“I knew it.”
“You didn’t know anything!”
“I absolutely did. I’m irresistible.”
“You’re insufferable.”
He tapped his cheek thoughtfully.
“Even your banking app?”
You groaned.
“You’re never touching my laptop again.”
He stood, dramatically placing a hand over his heart.
“You have elevated me above cybersecurity.”
“You’re not special.”
“I am literally the key to your entire digital life.”
You lunged for the laptop.
He held it away easily.
“You love me so much it affects your password strategy.”
“I was being lazy!”
“You typed my name in creative formats. That’s effort.”
You paused.
“…Shut up.”
He grinned, pleased beyond belief.
“I expect more variations by next month.”
꒰ saigiku jouno ꒱
You forgot one critical thing.
Jouno does not need to see your screen.
He can hear it.
The rhythm of typing.
The hesitation.
The pattern repetition.
He tilted his head slightly as you logged into your account.
Click.
Click-click.
Pause.
Click.
“…Interesting,” he murmured.
You stiffened. “What?”
“Your keystrokes repeat familiar patterns.”
“…Do they?”
“Yes.”
He stepped closer.
“You substitute certain letters with numbers.”
You stared.
“…That’s normal.”
“For the same name?” he asked calmly.
Your stomach dropped.
“…What name.”
He smiled faintly.
“Mine.”
You swallowed.
“You cannot prove that.”
“I do not need proof.”
He leaned slightly closer, voice low and amused.
“How many accounts?”
You folded your arms defensively.
“Enough.”
“Do you feel secure?” he asked.
“Yes?”
“Using my name?”
“…Yes.”
A pause.
Then—
“…Good.”
You blinked.
“That’s it?”
“You associate me with safety,” he said simply. “It is… flattering.”
You expected teasing.
Instead, his tone was warm.
Subtle.
He reached out and brushed his fingers lightly against your wrist.
“However,” he added gently, “it would be wise to alter them.”
You groaned. “Don’t start.”
“I can help.”
“That’s not reassuring!”
A faint smile curved his lips.
“You are fortunate I am fond of you.”
You huffed.
“…You like it though.”
He didn’t answer immediately.
But his thumb brushed your knuckles once.
“…Yes,” he admitted softly.
And somehow that was worse than teasing.
osamuslvt ─ 2026 ꕥ
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haha what if we held hands and what if we were a hair contrast duo what if we were "def not gay" and just "very good friends" what if our heart belonged to the other what if we were star crossed lovers what if we were doomed by the narrative what would happen if i kiss you what if we try to defy the narrative because our devotion for each other was just that strong what if we
