Rufus the Red

Welcome to my blog, where the words are made up and the posts don't matter. Call me Ishmael Rufus. Actually, call me anything you like. My carrd is here Pronouns are they/he. I once had a post reach ~thirty notes~ #tumblrfamous I have a hipster blog here. An instagram here. And a webpage for my OCs here. Current Obsessions: DC Comics Timothy Olyphant's pretty face Stats

[user6535]

[k-0re]

theyre grown up now

[yonderlad]

Peepee poopoo

[vortexstreet]

Wayne Thiebaud, Ripley Ridge, 1977, Oil on linen, 48 × 36 inches (121.9 × 91.4 cm), Whitney Museum of American Art, New York

[nordmyggsworld]

Shhh don't bother him. He's interested in something 🤫

[elliespectacular]

Yep, I'm a city slicker. Wake up one morning and your city's all slick? That was me.

[menecrates]

[boykavalier]

Happy Birthday, Timothy Olyphant! (May 20, 1968)

[loveridden1999]

i have that dog in me. you know. the losing one

[thepollingstation]

Are you confident you are the only person alive with your full name?

yes

no

other

Voting ended onMay 21

[ramigir]

DON'T WANNA WAIT ANYMORE

[yonderlad]

Tumblr wants to age verify me????

[color-palettes]

Sir, we can’t remove the upcharge for coconut milk - Submitted by artisticallygay

[bumblebeebats]

The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!

[seshrat]

"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

[arsnof]

Ghosts that should exist soon if not already

Notifications/typing noises in otherwise empty spaces

People waving you over from the side of the road and asking if you're their Lyft. Disappear the moment you look away

Abandoned warehouses that sometimes reverberate with an unheard bass

'Cold spots' where you can't get signal (that cannot be otherwise explained)

That dispensary with the blacked out windows? It used to be a Blockbuster until the manager got shot. If it's the right kind of night and you look real close and cup your hands to block out all the light? You can watch it happen, but they might see you

Newsletters from startups that no longer exist

Hype House haunted by the reason they had to make an apology video

Pictures of a stranger in your camera roll

At 2:30 every morning you can hear a ringing bell coming from the elementary school. Thing is, they switched to a digital tone in 2013. Also, it cannot be captured electronically

Welcome to Denny's what can I start you on? You already ordered? Wait.. Tall, pink hair? *sigh* Been dead for a mtonth and she's still stealing tips

[arsnof]

Finally someone gets it. Yes, taxi ghosts are already a thing. But! Their stories tend to be that they get into the cab and ride it a fair distance before disamappearing. This flavor only approaches your car and asks the question without actually getting in.

You're FaceTiming with your bestie as you walk around downtown, having the loudest conversation, phone arm fully extended, not paying attention to where you're going, like an asshole, when you bump into your bestie. The one that's on the phone. In her house. But she's right next to you. The call cuts off

If you drop a penny off the middle of the pedestrian bridge that goes over the highway at midnight and close your eyes, you can hear the pileup of '07 in real-time. Only problem is you won't be able to stop until it's over, and it was a big accident that took a long time and people don't die as quick as they do in movies

The arroyo dried up years ago, but kids playing in the tall grass and scrub still find the occasional dying fish. Not fossil, not skeleton, not dead, but dying. Not often enough to cause a hullabaloo, but, y'know, weird

That one spot in the park where the taco truck burned up that still smells so good

[girlballs-archive]

hey girl awesome pussy. it looks like it was expensive

[girlballs-archive]

hey girl awesome pussy. it looks like a shining example of your country's functional healthcare system

[girlballs-archive]

[sweating and taking notes] hey girl awesome pussy. it looks nuanced and complicated