Serving up I-am-enough-realness featuring who other than Brené Brown
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The past two days have been really, really excellent. I found out a monologue I wrote will performed in a show and my research project found statistical significance. Days like these I feel special and really proud. I am worthy of such much love and belonging. Thank you for dealing with my CHEESY self. If this is nacho-thing you should unfollow! Hahaha, see, it’s funny because you put cheese on nachos. Bye for now.
Everyone has a “core course” at DIS and are also enrolled in random elective classes they choose. This past week was “core course week”, but my house and I call it “kokos week” instead because that’s how many of our native Danish teachers pronounce it. My core course is Positive Psychology which meant I was doing the coolest things possible during my kokos week (I guess I’m partial just because I’m in the right class and the things interest me but still).
Monday
On Monday we had a lecture from a woman working for Gehl Architects in Copenhagen. Gehl is an urban design and research company that is made not just of architects but also psychologists, sociologists, and social science workers. Their goal while designing cities and urban landscapes is to make them as livable as possible, and they do so by putting people first. We learned about how built environments affect people’s well-being and how urban planning can contribute to the the flourishing of a city’s inhabitants. The founder of the company, Jan Gehl, travelled the world studying people and design and culture. He has written books on built environments and what people have in common across cultures, and his company came after realizing urban design put livability after the steps of the physical space and how buildings look. I learned SO MUCH and never had thought about how humans are natured beings, so the environment we are in influences our behavior/ how we perceive and feel about the world. Anyways, we walked around Copenhagen and talked about the different projects around the city that Gehl had launched. A lot of structural things in Cope make sense compared to back home, which could contribute to why they’re “the happiest place in the world” even when it’s grey and freezing outside. Hygge is definitely being promoted on the fundamental level of physical space. We finished Monday off with DIS treating us to lunch at the Glass Markets and then watching a documentary called “Happy” to talk about what really makes people happy. Hint: a lot doesn’t make sense with the way we are pressured to live our lives. This is initially why I was an Anthropology minor! We need to take a more critical look at the way we live and the way society is funnelling us into different paths of being and living!! But I digress.
Tuesday
Dorthe Pedersen spoke about Cycling Without Age , which is a volunteer organization that connects bikers with people mostly of old age (but also with disabilities of any age) so that they can get those people out and about in rickshaws to explore outside. Basically the whole premise centered around active citizenship and how both the biker and the passenger benefit from the ride. A really really cool lady and organization. Why aren’t we doing more as a community back in the states regarding people in nursing homes? Not only are they ‘stuck’ in the same place all day every day which is undesirable to anyone, but it is also really important that people continue to make memories and see different environments. Something I have come to find in my own life is that the only thing that really matters in this world is social connection. Strip everything down to the bare bones and this is the only thing I feel as though I undoubtedly know and believe in. Relationships with people are what matter. Cycling Without Age facilitates connection between people who normally may not otherwise and bridges age gaps in a really cool way. We watched a video where Dorthe and the original chapter in Denmark biked 15 people from a nursing home to Norway and it was incredibly inspiring. The benefits both parties walked away with weren’t able to be measured.
Afterwards we split into groups and traversed the streets to survey well-being in Copenhagen. My group decided to measure satisfaction as a function of communal involvement just because operationalizing happiness is so incredibly hard. We used likert-scales alongside a few demographic questions and went to places we thought other students would be, as they would be most likely to answer our survey (not great for a study but, alas, this was just an activity). We went to Studenthuset and I found a coffee that wasn’t 5+ dollars!! Quite the find here in Cope. We talked to some Danish and international students, and then made our way to a library. Our wording “extra-curricular activity” tripped up a lot of Danes who had no idea what that could mean, whereas that’s what students live by in the States. It just signifies the cultural difference where Danish people don’t feel pressured to build their resumes with “extra-curriculars” and many said they didn’t participate in any. Their sports or hobbies they didn’t consider something to report as an extra-curricular. Anyways we didn’t really find much to report because there were so many third variables at play, but speaking to other Danish students was really cool. They’re not as terrifying as they stoically appear.
Thursday
Wednesday we had off, but Thursday was my favorite day! We took an early bus to Aarhus. Naturally, I couldn’t fall asleep for the 4 hours, but I was able to talk to Lake (because the girl doesn’t sleep I swear), listen to music, and write a bit while admiring the Danish countryside. It was very therapeutic. We got to ARoS Museum and had 2 hours to explore it on our own. I can’t stress how COOL this museum was. I love love loved it. It’s set up by floor, so the bottom is the “Inferno” and the very top is the Rainbow Panorama. The floors in between are all their own theme as well. I started by going to the very bottom and I worked my way up. Let’s just say 2 hours was not enough. It is such a beautiful museum; the art as well as the museum itself and the curation. Too much to say and too much homework so I will just place some pictures.
After the museum we made our way to Cabinn Århus to drop our stuff before going to the local school of Art & Design. We all took an hour long class drawing a nude model. It was an experience I don’t think I ever would have had if it weren’t for the class (well that’s the theme of the week actually). I was a little nervous because I have no artistic ability and also because we would all be staring a naked woman for an hour, but the hour went by too fast and honestly everyone has artistic ability. We were given a stack of papers and 2 pencils that everyone had to keep sharpening, a model that kept changing positions after allotted amounts of time, and an artist that led us in different prompts: as fast as we could of the outline, of the shaded body, made of solely lines, left-handed, both-handed, and my favorite-- the blind contour. After shading in for minute intervals and the way-too-cool artist instructor lurked past me, I had a gold star moment. SHE PICKED UP MINE to show the class. I must admit it felt really nice for her to affirm me in some sort of way, but the point wasn’t to make something beautiful and she didn’t even pick mine because it was “the most beautiful”. If you went in with that mentality it was frustrating and unsuccessful, and separating your right and left side of the brain was when drawing became easy and fun. I had no expectation of myself and it worked out for me. The blind contour was especially good at making you think differently because you weren’t allowed to look. Your logical thinking was forced to take a back seat. You couldn’t analyze what you were doing and critique yourself, but instead you were able to get lost in your creative self. I am not entirely good at this but it is so important and rewarding, especially so in our modern world where “logical reasoning” is supreme and creativity is put to the back burner. This is always something I return to thinking about and it’s hard to know when you should rely on one versus the other. Anyways we were able to talk to the model after about what it was like to be her and about her experiences. She didn’t seem nude when we were drawing her she just seemed like an art piece to translate onto paper, and we talked about that as well as body positivity and nudity in general. HUGE CULTURAL DIFFERENCES. Why does America sexualize everything? Why do we make things so taboo? I will never understand this. We make things a lot harder for ourselves by suppressing things that are extremely natural. We had an open-table set up conversation-- us American students and the Danish artist, model, and Professor-- about what it was like to grow up with different cultural expectations and experiences. It was really really cool.
DIS treated us to a nice dinner at Grappa. While mostly everyone enjoyed a fat bowl of ravioli, my main course was a chicken salad because of the whole no dairy thing (ugh), but the wine, dessert, and bread basket was enough to leave me satisfied.
After Kamilla (my Professor) left us with saying she was moving the start time the next day to 10:30 from 8:30 so we had ample time to go out and explore Aarhus, we all reflected again on cultural differences. Relationships are so open in Denmark. All of our Professors insist we call them their first name, yes even those with PhDs, and they casually talk to us about drinking and going out and want us to do so in order to experience culture. Anyways we were pretty tired and unable to fully make the most of the night life and later start time, so we just went to a pub and got a cheap beer. Outside of Copenhagen things are a lot more natively Danish, and I loved watching the people there watch a soccer game and drink beer and laugh and speak Danish. It was really fun. I was home by midnight, which was also really fun (haha).
Friday
Friday we were sent off into the streets to engage in “random acts of kindness”. Kamilla gave each group some kroners and we were advised to do as many different acts as we could. My group bought a bouquet of flowers and we handed out roses to random people. We got mixed responses: a lot of smiles, some confusion, and one woman who shielded me from her son as if I were giving him a knife. That rejection stung haha but I’m not sure I wouldn’t do the same thing on a bad day in the future. Danish people are also just very blunt. Anyways we also wrote notes in Danish and put them in people’s bike baskets, paid for the next person in line at a coffee shop (which ended up being an old man who smiled and looked around trying to figure out who did it), and we reflected on anonymous versus known acts of kindness. We decided that kindness just varies on a lot of levels, and also that we wanted to do something for people we knew. We decided to reach out to people from back home. A couple people messaged an old boss or Professor etc. I texted my Uncle (hi if you’re reading this) because we hadn’t talked in a while and I thought about him a lot, and I emailed my favorite Professor from Kenyon. It is so common for people to think about others they care about and never reach out and let that person know they’re on their mind and important to them. It’s easy to forget or not realize you’re not verbalizing your appreciation. A lot there but also a lot more to talk about.
We had lunch at Århus street market and it was my kind of place. There were a bunch of authentic vendors inside a cozy industrial building [side note if I had the resources I would open one of these up in Cincinnati, and if someone reads this and does, lets do this thing]. We sampled everything basically before deciding what to actually buy. A girl and I decided to both get one thing and split, so we collectively enjoyed a giant falafel pita and Ugandan rolex. Experience was life-changing (kidding but not), and we left way too full but extremely content.
Next that day was visiting Volunteer Center Århus, which was a non-profit volunteer interest and network organization. The biggest thing I took away from this was again just the cultural difference. We have volunteer requirements in the States in order to graduate and designated “Volunteer days” on top of the pressure of resume building with volunteer work. Denmark has none of the same sentiments. People say they volunteer in order to meet other like-minded people, and people volunteer in areas they feel passionate about. The only downside in Denmark is getting more people to think volunteering is necessary because the government already gives a great amount of social support to its people; tax money already is supposed to take care of a lot (not the same in America).
That night we travelled to our next temporary home: Hotel Skanderborghus. It was a cottage-type retreat of sorts and my room was furnished with two big pillows and a giant blanket!! I felt like I was back in the States. DIS treated us to a buffet style dinner that the chefs of the Hotel prepared just for us. I had 5 different meats… a salmon salad, some pork, veal, chicken, and something unidentified in a Danish dish but delicious. As if we hadn’t eaten enough, we went to the basement to have an assortment of desserts and play charades. We all wrote down different things on strips of paper and put them into a fish bowl. No one wanted to go first and we were all sitting there awkwardly so guess who found themself standing in front of everyone with a flushed face? I don’t know why I always feel obligated to step in at times like that but it’s without consciously deciding to do so, and I found myself staring wide-eyed at everyone before Kamilla said, “Ok, one minute, go!” My face deepened in color, but thankfully I realized this was a competition and instinct took over. I turned that quickened heartbeat into a charade-flow and blacked out for the next minute, walking away with 8 pieces of paper and therefore 8 points for team 1. Did I feel again like an elementary school kid receiving a gold star? Maybe. After a few rounds and my team losing, Kamilla went to bed and the rest of everyone decided to play the X-Rated version. I went back to my roots and followed my teacher’s suit by going up to shower and be alone for a half hour before my roommate joined me (whoops). Something I have come to solidify over this trip is that I’m an introvert with extrovert tendencies. In other words, I get most of my energy from being alone, but I also am very social when in group settings. I can’t explain it. I just know that I needed that hour to be alone and reflect so I took it. It was lovely.
I have spent way too much time on this post so I’m going to close it rather fast.
Saturday
Saturday I spent at a co-housing property called Svanholm in Skibby. Again, there is just so much to say about this place. It was made up of 50 adults, 20 kids, and 20 temporary visitors. They had a shared economy (yes that means all of their money was put into the same bank account) and also shared a lot full of cars and bikes and such. Each family was responsible for cooking one meal every month as well as doing dishes every month, but other than that they had chefs that prepared all of their food. Svanholm actually basically created the word organic and was the first place to give organic produce to supermarkets in Denmark. All of the food they eat there today is from their farm for the most part. They have a communal dining hall, and they also have a democracy where they vote on how things run, rules, money allocations, and the direction of the place. It was mind boggling and I’d love to say more, but I truly can’t at the present moment. Ask me about it sometime if you’d like.
There you have it folks. My core course week in a nutshell. I am so much closer to my class now and I love them all. Going to normal class today felt a lot different, and I can’t wait to travel with them to Budapest in April for our study tour!
One of the new things I need to do daily is being thankful! I took positive psychology in college and believe that this practice can really help. Today I'm thankful for: 1. My husband. He hasn't been feeling well the past week or so with a cold, but he does a lot for us. He goes to work and when he comes home he'll cook dinner, do laundry, walk the dog, etc. 2. My kids. It's really hard to raise two kids especially when it's truly not just me raising them. Life is confusing but I'm going to keep investing myself in them having a good future. 3. My job. I'm thankful that I have one! My bosses care about me and let me take off when I need to.
PTG- post traumatic growth; the positive psychological changes that occur after a great difficulty. Hard times purify and mold us and force us to grow into better human beings & elevate us. There's always so much to learn from hard times. Reflecting back on difficult moments- what did you gain? how did you grow? Appreciating > complaining.
We wouldn't know what the "highs" feel like without the lows. May Allah make us people that are grateful in every and any situation.
Martin Seligman shows up on TED to tell us and break down what positive psychology does for us.
The last video I posted was more of an emotional, personal experience for the subjects while this specific video is more of a scientific breakdown of positive psychology.
Though the video is quite dry and very much like a lecture, for those who want to digest positive psychology step by step, in an organized and logical manner, this is a great video for you.
I definitely learned a lot about positive psychology from Seligman.
One thing to keep note is that there is not just a single view for positive psychology. As we listen to different philosophers and thinkers of positive psychology we understand it deeper, and we are able to establish our own definition of positive psychology.
I hope your thanksgiving break is a relaxing and stress-relieving time off fro m the harsh academics.
Thus far I have talked a lot about how having a positive mindset can help a person in many ways. One way in achieving this is by thanking the people around you that you care for and love so much. (http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/2Wood-GratitudeWell-BeingReview.pdf; checkout this link to see a scientific study behind the theory)
Although it might be hard to do so in a face-to-face conversation, I recommend starting by perhaps telling yourself or deliberately thinking to yourself who you are thankful for the most and why.
Here is an exercise you should try out (I have actually heard this exercise from my ultimate frisbee coach back in high school).
Before you go to bed every night, think of five things, events, objects, people, etc that you are thankful for. Then say "I am thankful for_________ because____________" out loud. Continue this habitually, and your thoughts slowly change to a more positively.
I believe that tonight is a great night to start this exercise, especially since many people started it yesterday during thanksgiving day.
So, I hope you all get the chance to do this exercise, and become a more spiritually positive person.
