Hey everyone... today is going to be a stressful one for those of us in America, so I have decided that fic is always a good distraction. I
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Chapter Three
Grotesque
You don't understand!
Help me understand why you have a gun on Agent Patterson!
It's him, Scully.
They walked out of Skinner’s office, three days after Agent Bill Patterson had been taken to the hospital and was now under 24/7 police surveillance. Once he was considered healthy enough to leave, he would be transported to a correctional facility.
Scully looked at Mulder, taking in his defeated demeanor. He had at least two days worth of a beard he had failed to shave before coming in that morning. He was quiet and withdrawn, the cut on his cheek still prominent, and he looked as though he had not slept much in the past few days.
“Mulder-”
“I think I’m gonna head home,” he said, his voice low.
“I could…”
“See you tomorrow, Scully,” he said, barely above a whisper, turning around and heading for the elevator to the parking garage.
She sighed as she watched him leave, feeling highly incompetent to do anything to help him. As she stood in the hall, unsure of what to do, she saw Skinner come out of his office and stand in the doorway, staring at her with a questioning look. He looked past her and then over his left shoulder, seeing Mulder’s back as he walked into the elevator.
She sighed as she looked back at Skinner with a slight shrug and he shook his head in the same manner. Anyone who was watching them, would be unable to know what exactly was taking place.
He sighed as he nodded, inclining his head toward the elevator that had just taken Mulder away from them. She smiled slightly and nodded back, but turned to the opposite elevator, needing to get her things before she left for the day.
Her coat, keys, and phone procured, she made her way to the parking garage, not paying attention, so it took her a second to realize she had walked past Mulder’s car. Turning around, she doubled back, and saw that she was correct: his car was still there, but he was not.
“He must have forgotten his keys,” she said under her breath, still looking around, but not finding him. “Must have called a cab.”
She sighed as she realized she did not know what she should do. Taking out her phone, she tried to call him, but he did not answer. Shaking her head, she walked to her car and drove home, deciding that she would give him some space before she tried to contact him again.
Walking to her apartment door, she stopped at the sight of him sitting outside of it, his knees drawn close, and his head leaning back against the door.
“Mulder?” she said softly and he raised his head, looking at her with empty eyes.
“I forgot my keys,” he explained, his voice quiet. “I…” He let out a sigh and she stepped closer, her keys in her hand.
“Come on. I’ll make you some tea.” She extended her hand with a soft smile and he took it, pulling himself to his feet.
“Scully, I think we’re past tea,” he said with a tired sigh as he brushed his hands off and shoved them into his pockets.
“Mulder, there is never anything so bad that a good cup of tea won’t at least help a little.” She smiled again and he exhaled loudly with a shake of his head. Opening the door, she let him enter first, his shoulders slumped.
“Let me put the kettle on. Have a seat. Couch or table, up to you.” She took off her coat and hung it up, before walking to the stove and picking up the kettle.
Filling it with water, she watched him out of the corner of her eye as he took off his coat and sat at the table with a deep sigh. Setting it on the stove, she turned on the burner and looked at him.
“Are you hungry? I could make you something…”
“No,” he said, looking up at her with a half smile. “Just tea will be fine.” She nodded with a smile and took down two mugs.
“Any preference?”
“No.”
They waited in silence for the water to boil and the kettle to whistle. When it did, she added a bag of chamomile tea to each mug, pouring the water into each and letting them steep before setting his down in front of him. He nodded his thanks, but said nothing. She took out the honey and sugar, placing them on the table, in case he wanted to use them.
She sat down across from him, adding a small amount of honey to her mug, stirring it with a spoon. She offered the spoon to him and he took it, adding a spoonful of sugar to his own mug.
She watched him from under her lashes as he took a drink and held the mug in his hands. He sighed and set it down, crossing his arms on the table.
“My time at the ISU… there were moments I thought it would kill me. I… I didn’t want to be Patterson-”
“But, you did want to impress him?”
“Sometimes,” he said, a smile pulling at his lips. “But it was more the physical toll that it took on me. I’m a profiler, yes… but…” He shook his head and sighed. “Becoming a monster to catch a monster…” He shook his head again and she nodded.
“It sounds awful, that’s true, but…I can understand his logic… to a point,” she offered, with a half smile and he looked at her, his eyes once more empty.
“It’s not worth the outcome,” he said quietly and she sighed.
“It helped you stop Patterson,” she said softly and he shook his head, looking down at his mug.
“You saw my apartment. What the process does to me. You said it yourself, I scared you.”
“No, Mulder,” she interrupted, touching his arm, causing him to look up at her. “I wasn’t scared of you, I was scared for you.” He searched her face and sighed as he covered her hand with his own. “I saw what it was doing to you… and there was nothing I could do to help you.” He sighed and shook his head.
“We’re partners, Mulder. But this time I couldn’t… I didn’t know how to be there to help you. To be the partner you needed.”
“Scully,” he breathed, and she squeezed his hand.
“I… I don’t want to see that happen to you again. Not… not like that,” she whispered and he stared at her. “I know you. I know you can’t promise me it won’t happen again.” She smiled softly and he sighed loudly with a nod.
“No, I can’t promise you that…” he said softly as he squeezed her hand. She looked down at their joined hands, nodding as she looked back at him and smiled sadly.
“I know, Mulder. And… I understand.”
He stared at her, his eyes speaking words he did not say and promises he could not keep. He sighed again as he squeezed her hand, the room falling silent around them once more.