i want to marry that girl (marry her anyway)
Written for Femslash February & the Sweetheart Bingo by @sweetspicybingo
Day 3. Marry Me
Title: i want to marry that girl (marry her anyway)
Ship: Postureshipping | Asuka/Emi
Word Count:
Universe: GX - Canon Compliant
Rating: 1,844
Tags: Age Difference, Student/Teacher Relationship, One-Sided Relationship, Unrequited Pining
Asuka understood that her teachers were humans like anyone else better than most of her peers did.
A strange statement yes but not intended as an indictment on her friends and acquaintances. Their senses of empathy were just not yet as evolved as hers and thus still revolved around egocentric adolescence. They were getting better, though, Asuka had merely arrived at the destination first.
Not intended as a brag. Merely a statement. An observation.
She saw how hard her teachers worked for them, even when they spat in their faces, slept during class, or otherwise rabble roused in or outside of the classroom. It was admirable.
Perhaps Chancellor Samejima detected that in Asuka - that admiration - and that was what had spurred him to reach out to her and advise her. He was a teacher with a scope so enormous, Asuka could hardly begin to describe his wisdom and so, she listened intently.
She had the whole world at her feet.
She would graduate soon and be welcome to step out into that big, wide world. Its size was terrifying. Asuka was but a speck in it and had no idea what to do with herself. She didn’t crave victory like Ryo nor did she have the stars aligned like Judai, she didn’t need to have the world chanting her name like Manjoume or Edo and so, she found herself at a loss.
Of course, Asuka had good grades across the board but aside from Duel Monsters, she didn’t have a specific passion for literature, mathematics, or science. However, it was that broadness which made her ideal for a teaching position.
Cynical as it may, those who can’t, did in fact teach.
Just look at Ayukawa Emi.
She was the quintessential definition of the adage. Ayukawa-sensei had mentioned here and there. She had turned down modelling positions and acting in advertisements to teach because she felt that her brains were more her calling than her beauty. Asuka didn’t disagree, Ayukawa-sensei was her favourite and she wouldn’t appreciate her for her if she only knew her as “that lady in that one yoghourt” advertisement.
Asuka had seen the extra mile Ayukawa-sensei went for the ladies dorm of Obelisk Blue firsthand.
When Asuka first arrived on Duel Academy Island, she felt clueless and naive but when she saw Ayukawa-sensei with her clipboard, that confusion turned to security. Her bright smile was so welcoming, she pointed Asuka in every direction she needed and more.
(A couple years later, Asuka would find herself echoing those exact words to her own underclassmen, thinking of her teacher with a flutter in her heart.)
And afterwards, whenever Asuka had a worry - no matter how small, if it was school related or in regards to her social life - she always had a trusted ally in Ayukawa-sensei. She had literally seen it all. Thanks to her own high school experiences but what she had learned in the life after high school because yes, friendly reminder, it did in fact exist.
She hosted ice-cream socials and slumber parties. She made sure everyone did exercises best suited to their body type or their goals. She was serious and no-nonsense when it came down to the hammer but outside of that, she was a joy to be around with a fun sense of humour.
Asuka had a whole scrapbook of memories to reminisce through when it came to Ayukawa Emi.
Most good but some bad, too. Like with the early part of the ordeal involving Yubel.
The silver lining in that particular situation was that Ayukawa-sensei’s heart of gold truly got to shine because of it. Her wide range of medical knowledge had been a huge difference maker when the school had gotten stranded in the Spirit World. She had done well to hold down the fort and patch up injuries until she literally couldn’t under Yubel’s influence.
But afterwards, even though it wasn’t her fault, she had literally been possessed, Ayukawa-sensei still apologised for her actions. She didn’t assume her heroics from before made up for the hurt she had caused as one of the mobbed, zombie-like members of the cohort in the fugue state under Yubel’s influence. She didn’t have to do that but it was important to her integrity that she did. Asuka respected that.
She always had, of course.
It was these moments that Asuka held onto as she decided to solidify her life’s path. She wanted to be a teacher like her beloved Ayukawa Emi. Nurse, physician, physical education instruction, dorm leader. She really, truly was everything and she did it all with that gorgeous smile, too.
No wonder Asuka had watched her from the students’ pews in the lecture hall long enough for purely mentoral admiration to turn into a crush.
It was hard saying goodbye… but Asuka didn’t want to. Or at least not like she was meant to.
For the past three years, Asuka had found herself contending with a rather inappropriate crush. She would be the first to admit it but only to herself. Because of all those things like the age gap and the power imbalance, Asuka was terrified to talk openly about it.
She mentioned it in passing to her brother, vying to be told to knock it off yet wanting to be validated by the same token. It was confusing and contradictory because that’s what matters of the heart tended to be like. And, annoyingly, Fubuki did consider himself to be a “love doctor”. Whatever that meant.
So, for better or for worse, he knew more about these sorts of things than her but he encouraged it. Likely only because he only knew about the lesbian aspect of it. He probably wouldn’t be so gungho about encouraging her if he knew that the girl that Asuka had her eyes on wasn’t a girl but rather a woman.
Either way, Fubuki did remind Asuka, she did have a box of costume jewellery in her room. Odds and ends, knicks and knacks that had been collected over the years from various female family members. Though, she wasn’t much of a jewellery person, maybe her mystery lover was.
Looking through that box, after Fubuki left, Asuka did find something. It wasn’t satisfactory but maybe it would be good enough. It was only costume jewellery to people whose families weren’t so endowed with wealth like theirs were.
Something to think about and Asuka did way too much of it. She wrote scripts and speeches in her head. She mulled over the pros and cons. All of it leading to the realistic outcome that confessing might rid Asuka of these feelings.
So now, at the culmination of these past three years with her crush, Asuka decided to act on it.
“Ayukawa-sensei, can I speak with you?” Asuka asked. “One last time before I graduate. I… I have something I need to get off my chest.”
Ayukawa-sensei flashed her one of her trademark, beauty queen smiles, “Of course, Asuka, anytime.”
“Thank you.” Asuka said.
“Oh and Asuka?”
“Yes.”
“Please, call me Emi. You aren’t going to be my student for much longer.”
She giggled impishly and reluctantly, Asuka adjusted. She had been reminded once or twice before, this was Ayukawa-sensei- no, Emi’s way of trying to instil that Asuka, and her third year peers, were going to be adults soon. And so, she wanted to elevate them.
Regardless, Ayukawa-sensei or Emi, Asuka felt her heart tremble in her chest. They excused themselves from the rest of the dorm, Emi took her somewhere private: the dorm office. It doubled as a guidance counsellor's because duh. That was a part of Emi’s duties as Ayukawa-sensei’s, too. Not just for the Obelisk Blue Dorm but for anyone who needed it.
“Do you want to sit down?” Emi asked, gesturing to the chair on the student’s side of the desk: a heavy, four-legged thing which made Asuka all too aware of the imbalance between them.
“No, I’m right, it should only be quick.” Asuka said.
“Oh, okay, then.” Emi said and she awkwardly hovered by the corner of her desk. She had clearly been expecting a sit-down conversation.
But with the nerves Asuka felt, her own legs felt wooden. Her heart raced in her chest and as Asuka gathered her thoughts, she must have taken too long. Her silence turned into a pregnant pause.
“Whenever you're ready, I’m listening.” Emi added softly.
Asuka placed her hand on it, her fingers curled in against the grain as she took a deep breath. She lifted her head and her hand in one swift motion. Her eyes gleamed with determination.
“I want you to wait for me.” Asuka announced and in a quick motion, she took Emi’s hands. They were baby soft and smelled vaguely of cucumber-melon lotion. Asuka gave them a firm squeeze as she looked Emi directly in the eyes. “I want to marry you.”
“P-Pardon?” Emi exclaimed.
Her eyes… How they looked, how they wavered, the way Emi was stricken with panic ever so quickly, it broke Asuka’s heart. She loosened up her grip on Emi but did not fully let go.
“I want to be a teacher like you. I want us to be teachers together, one day, but I want to wait for you as well. I - I have had feelings for you for so long so please. Will you give me a chance?” Asuka asked.
“I - I can’t, Tenjoin-kun-”
The switch from her name to her family name, it wounded Asuka. It was a salient reminder. She was not special. She had merely misunderstood. Those moments one-on-one they had shared prior, they had meant the world to Asuka but here merely one of many to Ayukawa-sensei.
“Please, Emi.” Asuka tried once more, her heart fit to her break as her eyes welled up with tears. “I even have a ring.”
Ayukawa-sensei pulled her hands away from within Asuka’s. She could feel Ayukawa-sensei’s skin crawl within the milliseconds long sensation of the rejection.
And the hesitation.
“I can’t stop you from waiting.” she said. “But I won’t wait for you.”
“I… I see, thank you, Ayukawa-sensei.” Asuka said and she stood back.
Emi collapsed into her chair. Seemingly thankful to be away from Asuka but she hid the majority of her face in the seat of her palm. She sighed hard. Thoughtful. Maybe even hateful. Either hateful or shameful.
Asuka produced that ring she had mentioned. It was silver with a bead of glass which so closely resembled a garnet it could have been mistaken as such.
“I’ll keep it.” Asuka said, alleviating some of the tension. She fiddled with it awkwardly, trying to shove it down the correct finger with haste.
“Become a good teacher, Tenjoin-kun.” Emi said, taking her hand off her mouth.
“I will try my best.” Asuka confirmed and she bowed. “Thank you for hearing me out, Ayukawa-sensei.” With her hands placed in front of her, her ring gleamed against the blue of her schoolgirl skirt, up until her hair flopped forward to hide both it and her face.