it’s certainly an upgrade from freshman year. at least now he doesn’t have to worry about having the right ratio, or making sure to have anywhere from five to twenty dollars on his person to get into a party. the only downside is that he’s pretty sure that their friend group is expecting him to help host at the next major holiday-ish party, and he’s not sure if he’s ready for that just yet. he…doesn’t even have an apartment off campus; he’s in the dorms with joonho, so that’ll be interesting to see how it all plays out–joohyuk is severely distracted.
he’s spacing out on this mildly interesting story about how steph had to walk home barefoot from her latest chem 3 exam because joonho’s getting hit on by a girl who’s like three degrees of separation from any of them. it’s just morally wrong. how can joohyuk leave his best friend and the only roommate he hasn’t scared off by his odd hours in the hands of a total stranger?
so he thinks up a lie. believable enough to not arouse suspicion–
“i need you,” he states to joonho, looking him straight in the eye. all this after just walking away from steph and jake mid story. “beer pong duo upstairs getting too cocky after 2 wins in a row.” his smile to the girl is too easy to be truly fake. joohyuk is genuinely happy to steal joonho away. “sorry, he’ll catch up with you later. we’ve got a title to defend right now.”
he’s such a freaking liar.
there’s no guilt though. two beers, a cup of the seriously strong mixed juice, and three stupid dare shots in, and joohyuk doesn’t feel much. except for how warm joonho’s palm is in his. they’re holding hands, and he’s dragging him upstairs where the pong table actually is, but he directs them toward a sharp left, where the hallway is dimmer, and the little bay window overlooks the street in front of the house. “i lied.” he shrugs, letting go of joonho’s hand and sitting on the little seat that’s got a worn out cushion. “i’ll lie less in the new year or something, i don’t know.”
“but it was hot down there and i know how uncomfortable you get when there’s a lotta body heat.” nose scrunching, he can even call himself out on his bull (but he’s not sorry). joohyuk reaches behind him, fumbling with the latch on the window. he pushes it out so that it opens an inch or two, letting the cool winter air hit his back. he shivers. “sorry if you were really interested in her. didn’t mean to cockblock you.” opening his legs slightly, he leaves room for joonho to settles himself wherever he wants: against the railing of the stairs, up against the wall, or right in between his legs.
he’s laid the cards out on the table. it’s joonho’s turn now.
JOONHO
Only two drinks in and Joonho finds himself slipping. Outside, the temperature is well into the negatives, making it the coldest night of the month, yet his face is flushed, full in its hot tomato glow. Punch drunk Joonho is a sight to behold, blue moon rare. New Year’s Eve, after all, is only an annual occasion, one that he’s fully committed to getting properly smashed for.
Except there’s one problem.
Some friend of a friend of a friend by the name of Stacey remains as a firm obstacle between the refreshments table and wherever Joohyuk stands in vicinity. As it turns out, there’s some use to being this freakishly tall: he nods at the appropriate intervals of conversation, but his eyes continue to trail well above her shoulder, lingering shy and uncertain on a certain boy’s distinct side profile before sliding back to his companion. Somewhere in the midst of her sweet talk and the single hand that snakes up his chest, it suddenly becomes all too clear just exactly where she keeps pushing towards: neither the friendly game of Kings Cup in the nook nor the “dancing” in front of the T.V., but to the unoccupied bedroom at the end of the corridor.
The thing is, Joonho might’ve said yes. She’s pretty enough, smokey-eyed and full-lipped to match, and he’s pliant to the touch. Fooling yourself is easy when there’s the warm burn of rum running through your veins: that this blood rush is for the way her gaze dips, for the swell of bare skin below her neckline.
But like all other illusions, this one shatters just as quickly as it had been conjured. He’s whisked away before he knows it, the hand that folds into his centering him back down. It’s earth to Joonho again and he’s saved by the bell, all thanks to Joohyuk, no less. A fact that has his flustered expression shift into one of visible relief. Even more so, when it turns out that the destination his roommate has in mind is something a little more to his liking.
Snowflakes fall in thin flurries, the sidewalk below a thin strip of white. The Christmas lights continue to flicker on the front porch. Placing one arm against the ledge, Joonho inhales sharp, then lets go in a slow stream. He feels cooler, better even, but judging by the lopsided grin still plastered on his mouth, not anywhere near sober.
“I don’t mind.” He leans against the side of the window, all nonchalant, the hitch of a chuckle light in the baritone of his voice. In vino veritas, isn’t that what it is? Even in Joohyuk’s half-assed excuses, there’s a little bit of truth there, he reckons. Or he’s only buying into the damn thing because he’s quietly loving the way he looks at him like that as he says it.
Or just how he looks.
Like that. Washed over in the dim orange glow.
Barely half an hour to midnight and subtlety has yet to check in at the door; an entirely new invitation present and ready and spreading itself out for him to take.
But he won’t move that close, not right now, only marginally, to tap at his ankle with his foot.
“Don’t tell me you were jealous, man.”
JOOHYUK
isn't it strange, that when you're fooling around, completely sober, in the middle of the day, you could be pressed skin to skin and yet think nothing of it? yet in a situation like this, where there's still a few inches between then, but there's alcohol involved at a time close to midnight--joohyuk is overthinking every little detail.
the confirmation from joonho about how he really feels about miss-too-close has him mirroring joonho's stupid face. the expression that, for the last few weeks, has made him feel all sorts of ways that he'd rather not think about. joohyuk does his best impression of that smile, but he knows that his version isn't nearly as megawatt beautiful as the original. "good. glad to know that if it were between me or her you'd pick me."
a casual sort of terror starts to creep through hims. he's never been nervous in front of joonho before, and he's rarely nervous in front of people in general but tonight? tonight he's nervous. he knows by the way blood rushes through his system, with the way he instinctively reaches out to settle his right hand onto joonho's hip. he's always been chased, never quite the one doing the chasing. "jealousy doesn't look good on anyone, not even me." his other hand rises to the level of joonho's waist, index finger threading through a beltloop and pulling him just a little closer. "would it have inflated your ego if i said yes?"
there's a need here. it rises in between them, and joohyuk wonders if he's going to break first. it's like that drinking game, where you just keeping adding splashes of soju into a glass full of beer. titanic, was the name of it if he remembered correctly.
damn, that shit really doesn't matter right now.
"joonho, it's really close to midnight. if you're gonna try and find a new year's kiss you better go prowl the floor now." is joonho shuffling in or is he pulling him closer? either way, joohyuk leans in, lips brushing against joonho's jaw.
it barely comes out. it's more of a vibration of sounds against skin, but it's loud enough. "otherwise it might just be me."
JOONHO
The course of this evening has been something of a losing battle. Composure slips beneath him slow, fine sand through the pinch of an hourglass. With it escapes the number of excuses Joonho could possibly come up with, out by the glass. He's on the high-end of some type of mood, molten amber, liquid smooth. A single touch shouldn't unravel him so completely. Doesn't. But instead, there's the flush that blooms right underneath where Joohyuk's hand presses ever so light.
Spoken envy: in the daylight, it might have looked out of place—jarring under the exposure, perhaps quick to be brushed off as a joke. Here it takes on a whole other pretense, the warmth in his breath palpable, voice a low rumble in the dark. It's enough to send a shiver down his back.
"That right?" Teasingly, he tilts his head. "I don't know. You haven't really given me an answer."
Downstairs, the murmuring grows louder. Pop, then the hiss of champagne flowing free to fill to the brim. Someone dials up the volume of the television, and the announcer's booms are muffled by the walls. A little over three hours away, Times Square hums with anticipation. From a bird's eye view, the sprawl of city lights would look like a dizzying blur of stars, bright against the thin, nocturnal chill.
All that, and through the thick haze of his inebriated state, sinks the realization, we’re alone now. His lips are the closest they’ve been, light against the line of his jaw. His heartbeat echoes loud in his ears.
“The floor’s too far.”
Slowly, Joonho’s hands trail up to cup his cheek, the full weight of his stare unmoving.
Downstairs, the countdown begins. Ten, Nine, Eight.
Half moon eyes, full mouth. The room begins to fade out.
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
JOOHYUK
what is it about this time of year? the weather? the holiday magic? the restlessness of having too much to do but not enough to finish, all at the same time? earlier in the day he couldn't possibly stay still, but now he can barely remember to breathe.
Seven. Six.
"guess you'll never get a proper answer." a question without a resolution, a night that feels too long, a countdown that's steadily ending. it's like he's just been completely submerged in water. everything is muffled--the sound of party-goers probably stampeding to crowd around the tv, the names of absent friends being called frantically--he thinks he might have heard theirs at some point, too.
"there's more important things to worry about." joohyuk feels sluggish, his heart's pounding but his limbs almost seem locked into place. is he losing his courage? his cool? maybe he shouldn't have offered in the first place if he wasn't ready for each and every potential response.
'the floor's too far.'
Five. Four.
but then--clarity. with joonho fully settles in between his thighs, his legs wrap around, heels tugging him close. close enough until there's no room left to separate them.
"you're so close." he murmurs it while melting into joonho's palm cupping his cheek. "you're better than anyone downstairs, wouldn't want it any other way." he always did talk too much. "happy early new year, babe." a stuttering exhale, and he surges up to meet joonho halfway.
joohyuk wonders if joonho can taste the smile on his lips.
JOONHO
Up until now, he's held it all in. Every pipe dream, every what if, every hint of wishful thinking that surfaces in the wakeful hours closed away, out of sight, out of mind.
But his imagination has never come anywhere close to this. He almost doesn't believe it—this proximity, the feel of Joohyuk's skin, and this possibility that unfurls between them, nocturnal and blooming slow under moonglow and the warmth of their breaths.
"I won't push for one, then."
Three,
The chanting grows, the anticipation building beneath their feet. Outside, the spectators step into the street, one by one, eyes to the sky in wait. The first few whistles are set off in the distance, but none of the matters. Not when they're like this, right here, right now.
Joonho leans in close.
Two,
"So are you."
Their lips touch.
One.
All around, it erupts into celebration, cheer and pure jubilation in a ring of echoes. The fireworks go off singing, bursting into blue and gold against the endless sky.
Angling his head, Joonho presses closer, closer than close, reveling in the pulse of it all for what it's worth. He feels the grin on Joohyuk's lips and smiles back, in sheer delight. His heart soars.
