Keep My Head Above Water
Summary: Dan is the captain of his high school swim team and the sport means more than anything to him. He hopes to be recruited into college so he can continue to swim, however, his plan changes when he fails English. Being tutored by Phil, Dan soon sees that even though he still wants more than anything to continue to swim, he may also want something else too.
Word Count: 7.8k
Rating: Teen and Up
Genre: high school!phan
written for the 2019 @phandomreversebang!
**Link to Ao3 | Link to Art**
Special thanks to my amazing artist @drawingdawnart for creating such a great prompt and such great art! I’m a sucker for high school au’s so this was right up my alley! Also thanks to my beta @completelyuncreative2!
Some disclaimers: I did try to make this accurate but I knew in the end that this is fiction and I shouldn’t beat myself up for some inaccuracies so please, if anything isn’t accurate, take it with a grain of salt!
The first time that Daniel Howell ever saw Phil Lester was at his first home meet, freshman year of high school. He was nervous, and it was his first time doing the butterfly stroke for his team, having been a new swimmer this year. But he was determined to try his best and try and win something for his new teammates.
Phil was in the bleachers on the side of the pool, his body slumped over a white notepad and his black pen furiously writing against the page. Dan had remembered watching him, wondering what he was doing and what he was writing, and also why he looked so mad doing it.
Dan doesn’t remember much of the rest of the meet, just that he did in fact break several school records that had been in place since the 1950s and he even earned a spot in the swimming hall of fame photo section in his coaches office.
And later that week, after the high had worn off and Dan had finally felt like he was back to normal ground and not floating on cloud nine, he finds a newspaper sticking out of the side of his locker. He picks it up and unfolds it, and sees his picture on the cover of his school’s newspaper.
“Freshman Dan Howell Defeats Long Term Records”
Written by Phil Lester, grade 9
That’s the first time Dan really knew who Phil was or why he was at his swim meet to begin with. And for the next four years, he’d see Phil sitting in the same red, worn out metal bleachers, writing furiously in a white note pad with his body slumped slightly over.
But Dan’s never spoken to him.
He’s never thanked him for the amazing articles that Phil has written about his accomplishments, like how he smashed his old records with literally no effort. Or how he was named captain of the swim team by a landslide.
And maybe that’s why Dan is suddenly so curious to know why he’s staring at Phil Lester as he reads to himself at a table in the corner of the library. It sounds like Shakespeare, but Dan can admit he doesn’t know much about him, other than he can’t understand him. It’s Old English, someone would argue, but Dan would just say it was incoherent.
He watches Phil a little bit longer as he turns from page to page in his own little world, reading each line and talking to himself about it. In another world, Dan might have seen anyone else doing that thought they were weird. But seeing Phil speak to himself makes him a bit more intrigued to hear more.
The bell rings and interrupts Dan’s thoughts, and he slowly gathers his notebook and pens and tosses them into his bag. He has another home meet tonight and his brain is only concentrated on how he’s so close to beating his own record again for the butterfly. He’s so close, just a few milliseconds off and he knows that he can do it if he tries harder. He just knows.
Dan meanders his way to his math class and drops into his seat in the back of the room and chews on his pen the entire time as his teacher, Mr. Griffiths drawls on and on about the importance of cubed roots.
In English class, Dan is faced with the same boring book that they have been reading for the last month...something to do with killing a mockingbird? He’s honestly not quite sure. He finds himself thumbing through the pages of the worn out copy of the book and just staring at the highlighted words from students past.
“Mr. Howell!” Dan slowly averts his gaze up from the well-used pages and finds himself staring directly at the face of Mr. Perkins in the front of the classroom, a piece of chalk between his fingers and the same well worn book in his hand. “Do you care to explain to the class what you think the significance is of the items that Scout finds in the tree?”
There was a tree? And who is Scout? Does he mean a Boy Scout? Girl Scout? Dan feels himself panic a bit and he’s about to answer Mr. Perkins’ question when suddenly, black hair jolts up in the seat in front of him and someone else is speaking.
“With all due respect, Mr. Perkins,” It’s Phil Lester and he’s speaking up for Dan right now. But why? Dan’s confused. He’s never spoken to Phil, much less actually had any interactions with him besides just the many stories written about his success. “I think it’s unfair to ask that question because unless you’ve read ahead, you actually probably wouldn’t know.”
Mr. Perkins’ eyes narrow in behind his round glasses and he reaches up, pushing them back against his nose and huffs. Dan feels a sigh of relief and his shoulders visibly relax but he can still see everyone’s eyes on him and Phil. But Phil is back to slouching over his notebook, and Dan can see his hand moving in such a way that he can tell Phil is writing down a bunch of notes for whatever they were just reading.
The bell rings and everyone begins to push their way out of the classroom, eager to get to their final class of the day and Dan would normally do the same. But he instead finds himself sitting back in his seat and waiting for Phil to get up. When Phil does, and he slings his messenger bag over his shoulder with the same worn handle that Dan sees thrown on the bleachers, he gets up as well and steps up to him.
“Thank you.” Dan says, his voice coming out a bit deep and weary. Maybe this wasn’t the best decision. He’d never spoken to Phil before and maybe this was overstepping now. But Phil did just save his ass.
“You don’t have to thank me.” Phil says. “It was an unfair question for someone who hasn’t read the book.”
Dan feels his face heat up a bit. Well, yeah, he hadn’t read the book. But why should that matter. “How did you know I didn’t read?”
Phil scoffed a bit and then his lips curled into a smirk. “Because the question was actually extremely obvious. Anyone with eyes or ears could have guessed it.”
Dan opens his mouth to defend himself but he knows he has nothing.
Phil leaves, weaving through the empty desks and out the door of the classroom. Dan watches him as the door shuts behind him and it leaves him a bit more intrigued than he already was when he saw Phil earlier in the library.
Hiking his backpack up on his shoulders, he walked out of the room as the last student and made it to his final class―music theory―just two minutes late...honestly that was probably its own record.
****
The meet went well, much better than Dan had actually thought it was going to go. He didn’t beat his record, but he came close once again so he was fine with that. He really was.
His coach gave him some helpful tips and even encouraged Dan to come in on the weekends to the school and swim some laps to gain some practice and Dan was considering taking him up on that offer.
Dan’s been looking to be recruited by a college for some time now to get a full scholarship for swim so he could go to college and continue the sport that he loved so much. But so far the college recruiters that have come to his school haven’t said anything to him and he was worried that maybe he never would.
He was determined to prove them wrong. He really was.
His coach told him that at their next home meet in two weeks, a recruiter from Western Valley University was going to be coming to the school and Dan wanted this shot more than anything. He really did.
So there came even more surprise when the following morning after the meet, he’s called into his coach’s office during his free period and he’s handed a slip of pink paper.
“What is this?” Dan asked, looking it over, unsure how to read it.
“You’re failing English, Dan.” His coach says, his expression sympathetic. “The school has a strict policy about being involved in a sport and failing a class.”
“Well what’s the policy then?” Dan asked.
He wasn’t expecting the worst. Maybe he would just have to stay after school later to catch up? Maybe he just had skip a few practices to go to a tutor instead. He honestly wasn’t even aware there was a policy on this to begin with.
“The school is not allowing you to participate in any practices or meets until your grade is above passing. Right now it’s sitting at a 55 and you need a 65 to pass.”
Dan felt his eyes grow a bit wide as he looked down at the slip that was signed by his school’s principal saying he, Daniel Howell, was excused from the Swim Team until his English grade got above a 65.
“So...what do I do?” Dan asked, his voice raising in volume. “The recruiter from WVU is coming here in two weeks? I have to swim in that meet! I have to!”
“But you’re failing a class, Dan.” His coach repeated. “The good thing is that you’re not way behind on your grade. I’m sure you could speak with Mr. Perkins and ask about any assignments you could do to get it above a 65.”
Dan reached his hands up and covered his eyes, rubbing his face. He couldn’t believe this. He was at the risk of screwing up his shot at being recruited by college all because he’s failing his stupid English class with Mr. Perkins.
He was so fucked...to put it lightly.
He walked out of coach’s office with his tail tucked between his legs and a permanent slump in his step. He felt sick. He felt defeated. And most of all, he felt stupid.
Dan knew he was smarter than this. He just didn’t think it had gotten that bad where he was actually failing one of his classes. He knew he was getting close to failing something but he honestly didn’t think it was English. He thought Mr. Perkins had his back.
His coach had told him to go and speak to Mr. Perkins so that’s where he found himself during his free period instead of at the library where he liked to borrow one of the laptops and listen to music.
He was sitting in front of Mr. Perkins desk as he looked at the computer screen and was scrolling down all of Dan’s missed or late assignments.
“Well, Mr. Howell, you’ve managed to either fail or just not turn in anything that was due this quarter. I’m honestly not sure how we can get your grade up to passing any time soon.”
Dan felt himself getting desperate. He needed to pass this class. He needed Mr. Perkins to give him some sort of redemption before these two weeks were over. “Is there anything at all you can do?” Dan asks. “I literally will do anything if it’ll get me a passing grade.”
“The only suggestion I can say is that you should look into getting a tutor.”
“Where can I find a tutor?” Dan asks.
“The one person that I could recommend going to for tutoring is Phil Lester. He’s the only person in my 15 years of teaching that has managed to get perfect scores on all of his assignments. You could learn a thing or two from him.”
Of course Phil was the smartest English kid in the class. That honestly made a lot of sense given his comment to Dan the day before and also all that he’s written about Dan in the past.
When he leaves Mr. Perkins classroom, he goes to the library in hopes of finding Phil to talk to him but Phil is nowhere to be seen. So Dan remains sitting alone until the bell rings and he heads off to lunch where he can sit with his friends PJ and Chris.
***
“So they’re actually not letting you do anything swim related?” PJ asks again as they all sit on the floor of his bedroom, playing a round of Mario Kart on his TV.
PJ wasn’t a member of the swim team or anything, neither was Chris, but Dan had developed a friendship with them since childhood when their parents took them to the same daycare center and it turned out they were neighbors.
“I’ve already explained this, Peej.” Dan says, feeling a bit annoyed. “Coach says I’m out until my grades get up.”
“That’s a bummer.” Chris chimes in. He’s not even playing with them, he’s just sitting in PJ’s beanbag chair drinking a coke.
“And on top of all of that,” Dan continues. “A recruit from WVU is going to be at my swim meet in two weeks and I might not even be able to swim. It’s like this entire world is out to get me.”
PJ paused the game and reached out, patting Dan’s arm with his hand in a sincere gesture. “I know how much it sucks, Dan. But I’m sure you can get your grades up if you’re having Lester tutor you.”
Chris snorted in the background and Dan turned his head to see what he was laughing about. “What?”
Chris looks up from his phone and shakes his head. “Oh nothing, just the fact that you’re getting tutored by Lester is quite hilarious.”
“Why are you guys calling him Lester?” Dan asks. “His name is Phil...but also, I’m not even sure he’s tutoring me yet. I couldn’t even find him at school today.”
“Probably because he’s off at a Literature Conference paid by the school.” PJ comments, starting up the game again. “He wrote a long piece about Shakespeare that I heard blew Perkins away and it was sent to a conference downstate so he could read it.”
Dan was truly fascinated by that. The fact that Phil was literally so coherent in Literature and English that he could write a paper that would get him to speak at a conference. Maybe Phil feels the same way about literature as Dan does about swim.
“But Lester’s a nerd.” Chris chimes in. “Like a straight up nerd.”
“And what does that matter?” Dan asks.
Chris shrugs and closes his lips, refusing to speak.
Dan continues to play Mario Kart with PJ until PJ throws the fabled blue shell at him and he’s suddenly in 5th place and clearly losing. He’s still got the events of the day playing back in his head and if he thinks too much about it, he feels ill.
He needs to find Phil as soon as he’s back in school and he needs to ask him to tutor him. He has to. His entire life was on the line all because of this English class and if he didn’t do something about it, his career in swim would be over.
***
Dan sees Phil in the library two days after his conversation with his coach. Phil is sat by himself at an empty table and his hand is moving quite fast across a piece of lined paper, leaving etchings of black behind. Dan finds himself fascinated as he watches Phil write. It feels similar to when he saw Phil for the first time freshman year and the way he was so eager to write about everything Dan had done at that meet.
Dan slid into the chair across from Phil, ignoring the way the black haired male looked up and gave Dan an odd face. Dan watched as Phil set his pen down on his notebook and it rolled a bit to the side before falling onto the table with a soft clatter.
“Do you need something?” Phil asks, his voice a bit timid.
“Yes, actually.” Dan begins. “You’re good at English, right?”
Phil nods slowly, his head barely moving. “I like English and I’d say I'm alright at it.”
Dan feels like Phil is being a bit cheeky but he doesn’t dwell on it. He wants to just ask the humiliating question and go on with his day. “Would you be willing to help me out a bit with English?”
Phil’s eyebrow cocked up a bit and he leaned back in his seat, his arms coming up to fold over his chest. “What did you need help with?”
“Well, I’m failing English…”
“That’s not shocking.”
“And I need to get my grade up in just two weeks which seems pretty impossible but a swim recruiter from Western Valley University will be here then and I need to be able to swim in the meet and I can’t swim in it while I’m failing a class.”
Dan takes in a long breath when he’s done speaking and lets it back out slowly. He hadn’t even taken a breath in that entire sentence and the way Phil’s eyes were slightly bugging out his head showed that.
“So you want me to help you out because you’re failing English?” Phil repeats, his words slow and enunciated.
Dan nods. “Yes! That’s exactly what I’m asking!”
Phil leans forward and places his elbows on the table. “Do you have a specific thing in mind to help you achieve this because, Dan, I’m not trying to sound rude or anything but you’re not exactly the smartest person when it comes to English.”
Dan rolls his eyes. “Thanks.”
Phil immediately put his hands up. “I didn’t mean it like that! What I meant was that it’s clear you don’t do nearly all of the work for the class so how do you expect to get a higher grade?”
Dan’s cheeks flushed and he let out another breath. “I know how bad it looks, I really do. But you don’t understand, Phil. This is my entire life on the line if I don’t impress this recruiter. I need to pass English so I can get back into the pool!”
Phil sighed and closed his notebook in front of him. “When did you want to do this?”
Dan’s eyes lit up and he immediately felt the nervous butterflies in his stomach because he was really going to do this! He was going to get a tutor and damn it, he was going to pass English.
“Since I don’t have practice right now thanks to the school, I can do really any day?” Dan says.
“We can start tomorrow night. Meet me at the public library at 4:30?”
Public library? Dan felt a bit dumb but he wasn’t even aware that they had one.
“You don’t know where that is, do you?” Phil asks, a laugh breaking through his voice as his words tapered off. “Okay, you can just come over to my place then. My mom will be home but I promise she’s nice.”
Dan nodded and smiled at Phil. “Sounds good. Let’s exchange numbers and you can text me your address?”
Phil pulled out his phone and Dan pulled out his and they both wrote their numbers into each others contacts before Phil pushed his phone back away and reopened his notebook.
“How did your conference go?”
Dan doesn’t know why those words came out of his mouth but they did.
“The conference?” Phil asks. “Oh. It went well.”
Dan nodded awkwardly. Was he supposed to say something more? Should he even try and continue the conversation? He wasn’t sure but Phil had gone back to writing something in his notebook so Dan stood up from the chair and walked to his normal area of the library.
He spent the rest of his time there trying to finish his other really overdue homework from math and biology. At least he did a bit better at those than English and he didn’t have to try quite as hard.
When the bell rang for the next period to begin, he slowly packed up his things and walked out of the library, shuffling his feet to, coincidentally, English class. He wasn’t looking forward to it.
***
Dan arrives to the address that Phil sent him that he had put into his GPS in his car. He wasn’t sure if this was exactly where he should be because sometimes GPSs screw up so he was holding his breath about going up to the door and knocking.
Phil had told him that he’ll probably be upstairs in his room and won’t know if he’s arrived but his mom will answer the door for them. It looks like a cute little two story white house with a fence around the outside. The driveway is lined with beautiful flowers and stones but Dan opted to park on the street just in case.
He texted Phil a few minutes ago to tell him he was here but he hadn’t gotten a response yet so he figures he needs to just suck it up and go to the door. If he’s at the wrong house, he’ll just politely―and awkwardly―apologize and move on, punching in the address again to try once more.
Dan opens the door to his car and gets out, walking to the back to grab his backpack that he filled with miscellaneous crap that he judged to be English related. To be quite frank, he wasn’t quite sure what he even needed for the class and he found himself scratching his head in his bedroom trying to figure it out.
He locked his car and walked slowly to the house, up the small walkway, to the porch and up to the front door. He stands for a few minutes and then takes a deep breath and knocks against the glass.
It only takes a few moments before someone is shuffled on the other side and the door is opening. A smallish older woman is standing on the other side, her hands drying in a dish towel. She’s wearing glasses and her hair is cut neatly into a bob.
And if Dan wasn’t convinced his eyes were playing tricks on him, he would say this definitely looked like she could be Phil’s mom. 100%.
“Hi. I’m here to meet with Phil?” He said, forcing a smile on his lips.
Her face perked up and her lips curled into a big grin. “Oh! Phil! Yes, are you one of his friends?”
Dan shakes his head. “No, he’s tutoring me in English.”
His mom, which Dan was now convinced of that, rose her hands and clapped the air. “Oh, how amazing! My Phil never has people over, not even to tutor them. This is so exciting. Do you want a drink? I was just doing the dishes but I can mix up some Kool-Aid. Or do you want food? We just got done eating but leftovers are always available in our hours.”
Dan stood completely in awe over everything she was saying. He’s only just knocked on the door and she was already offering him a cold drink and a warm meal. He felt a pit of warmth in his gut because that’s the nicest thing that someone has offered him a while.
“Oh, no thank you.” He says.
She nods, her face still sporting a smile. “Oh, that’s alright, dear. But the offer still stands as long as you’re here.” She steps aside and opens the door wider. “Phil is up in his room. It’s just up the stairs on the right. He likes to keep his door shut and listen to music so you may have to knock a few times to get him to hear you.”
Dan nods and walks inside, sending a quick thank you over his shoulder and he ascended the stairs and put to the where Phil’s room would be. He had a sign on his door that said Phil’s room and Dan chuckled a bit at seeing it. But he lifted his hand and knocked on the door and a loud shout of ‘Come in!’ came from the other side.
Dan slowly opens the door and sees Phil sitting at a desk in the corner of his room, his laptop open in front of him and a splay of notebooks scattered around his body. It looks just like he works at the library, just in his own bedroom.
“Your mom let me in.”
Phil turned around and laughed. “I told you she would.”
“She also offered me dinner and a drink.”
Phil chuckled a bit more. “Once again, that’s my typical mom.”
“She’s nice.” Dan says.
Phil just nods and there is an awkward silence yet again between them like there always is after a few moments. Dan doesn’t know why it happens, but he can always feel it because it feels like a rubber string pulled tight, ready to snap.
“So, uh…your work!” Phil said, changing the subject. “I talked to Mr. Perkins and he told me every assignment he wants you to complete and I have a list of them so why don’t we work down the list and just see what we can do?”
Dan nods quickly and looks around Phil’s room, feeling awkward standing up while Phil is spinning in his desk chair. “Do you want me to sit…?”
“Oh!” Phil says, his cheeks flushing. “We can sit on my bed if that makes it easier? We can spread everything out that way too.”
Dan nods and takes a seat on Phil’s bed. He toes off his sneakers and then pushes them to the side and slides back onto the bed, crossing his legs. He opens his backpack and begins to unpack it when Phil suddenly groans and Dan looks up.
“You don’t even have the correct books.” Phil remarks. “These aren’t even from this year. They’re from, I’m pretty sure, middle school.”
Dan looked at the array of books around him and felt embarrassment flush in his stomach. He knew he wasn’t going to have the correct things and now, this made him look ever worse.
“But that’s fine.” Phil continues. “We’re learning and that’s fine. I’ll just grab my own books and we can use mine. Right now, we’re going to be doing an assignment on Richard III from Shakespeare that was due in October.”
Dan cringed a bit considering it was breaching into December now and he hadn’t done any of the assignments obviously.
Phil stood up from the bed and walked over to his desk, pushing some books aside before grabbing the books they needed and sitting down.
Dan doesn’t know how long they worked on assignments but when they had only one assignment down and Phil’s mom was calling upstairs to ask Dan is he was spending the night, he suddenly realized how bad the situation was and how clueless he really is.
He was never going to do this. What was he kidding?
Dan let out a defeated sigh and closed his notebook and shoved his ‘wrong’ books into his bag. Phil stared at him and when Dan looked up, he felt the inclination to snap at Phil and to get irrationally mad that Phil get’s this and he clearly doesn’t.
“We’ll get there, Dan.” Phil says, his hand coming out and resting on Dan’s arm in a comforting gesture. “English isn’t easy but we did complete one of the assignments and it’s definitely passable. So just turn it in tomorrow and we’ll work on the rest this week.”
Dan nods and lets out a forced smiled before he gathered all of his things, pushed his shoes back on, and hiked his bag onto his back. He said goodbye to Phil and then he went downstairs and saw Phil’s parents sat on the living room couch enjoying a movie.
He said goodbye to them and Kath offered him some cookies to take back but he refused and thanked her anyway.
When he got into his car, he chucked his bag into the backseat and frustrated tears began to prick his eyes. He furiously wiped them away as he turned his car on and his headlights turned into just flared smudges. He sniffled and let out a sigh as he wiped the final moisture from his face and drove home.
***
Mr. Perkins does in fact deem his assignment passable and Dan’s also lucky that all of his assignments following were seen the same way. When he tells Phil the news, Phil cockily says, “Of course they’re passable. I’m the one who helped you.”
Dan just laughs and shoves it off despite the blush on both of their cheeks.
Dan also had a meeting with his coach to tell him the good news on his progress and his coach is over the moon about it, which makes Dan really begin to feel confident again about this working. He was actually going to pass English and be able to swim in the meet and show the recruiter what he can do!
Against the schools rules, Dan trains every day with his coach and his team. He knows he shouldn’t be but his coach also knows how important it is that Dan remains in his peak condition like how he was prior to all of this happening.
All while Dan is busy training and preparing for that long awaited meet and the recruiter for Western Valley, Dan also finds himself understanding English just a bit more.
He and Phil hadn’t done any more tutoring at Phil’s house, instead, Phil opted to do some tutoring in the library during both of their free periods. He was learning more and more each day but that didn’t help him when he was stressing out about the date for the recruiter fast approaching.
It also didn’t help that Dan was beginning to look at Phil a bit differently. He didn’t know when it started or when he noticed he was doing it. He just realized one day during tutoring that he was so focused on Phil’s bright blue eyes that he hadn’t even listened to a single thing he said. He had been too flustered to ask Phil to repeat everything he had said so he just put on a face like he did listen and they moved on.
But that couldn’t continue, not when Dan is noticing how beautiful Phil’s eyes are or how soft his voice is. Dan has even picked up that if Phil laughs hard enough, his tongue pokes out between his teeth and Dan doesn’t know why, but he finds that so damn endearing.
Or maybe he first notices it when that same day, he goes over to Phil’s house after practice and he finds himself doing the same thing. He finds himself only staring at Phil’s eyes as he’s skimming through a passage of To Kill a Mockingbird when he should be paying attention.
And Phil picks up on that really fast.
“See something you like?” He asks.
Dan feels his cheeks flush and he quickly shakes his head. “You wish.”
Phil smiles. “It’s okay if you find me adorable, Dan. It’s actually quite flattering.”
Dan huffs and Phil lets out a laugh.
They don’t mention the interaction again while Phil is helping him, but there is a noticeable tension in the air from that point forward that leaves little to the imagination and also sends Dan into a bit of a sexuality crisis.
Prior to noticing how he’s beginning to feel towards Phil, he had only had feelings for females…or so he thought. He found that he was always attracted to women and he never really bat an eye towards a guy. Of course, sometimes he did look at a guy and think they were cute but most of the time, he found that to not even be a big deal. Didn’t everyone do that?
Except now, he’s questioning a lot and it was beginning to weigh a bit heavy on his mind. Every time he met with Phil, his sexuality hung on a thin string in his head and he tried his best to push any thoughts about but eventually, he came to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, he was getting a crush on Phil beyond his control.
As the tutoring session continues, his grade continues to rise until suddenly, Mr. Perkins tells him that he has only one final assignment left and it’s a big project he has to do about two of the books they have read for the class…emphasis on ‘read’ in Dan’s case.
He spends his time with Phil at his house working on the project and Phil helps him understand each book every step of the way. The project was to do a massive powerpoint comparison of the two books and then show the major themes and plot points from each. Dan found that that was easy with Phil guiding him through it.
It was nearly 3 in the morning the night before Mr. Perkins wanted it when Dan and Phil clicked save on the Powerpoint for the final time and both smiled in harmony over having it done.
Dan was exhausted, mentally and physically and on top of that, they had to be up for school in just four hours. Phil noticed this too and said the one phrase that had Dan’s heart leaping out of his skin.
“Did you want to stay here tonight?”
Dan nodded, his eyes hardly opening and he and Phil fell asleep on Phil’s floor just like that. It was nothing romantic and nothing like Dan would have thought but Dan still found his heart beating fast when Phil’s mom yelled to them in the morning to wake up for school.
Dan drove both him and Phil to school that morning and as soon as they got to the building, they rushed to Mr. Perkins classroom and busted the door open. They tore through the room and Dan slapped the flash drive onto his desk with a shit-eating grin.
“My final assignment is on that thumb drive.” Dan says, a bit out of breath.
Mr. Perkins nods and pushes his glasses back onto his nose like he’s serious and takes the thumb nail in his hand. He pushes it into his computer and loads the powerpoint and looks it over. When he’s done, he clicks out of it and Dan waits with bated breath as he turns to Dan and says slowly. “This assignment looks great, Mr. Howell. I’ll happily sign your form saying you’ve passed English now.”
Without even thinking, Dan turned to Phil and pulled him into a tight hug. Phil’s arms came up around him and for a moment, Dan felt his heart beating fast and Phil’s arms shake a bit.
Their embrace was not something that was planned, nor expected. And it threw them both a bit off despite Dan being so damn happy. He pulled back and cleared his throat and Phil’s face was flushed a deep red.
They both looked at each other before Dan opens his mouth and says. “Thank you. Thank you for helping me and never giving up on me and making it so I passed. You do not know how much that means to me that I now can spend the next few days training to impress the recruiter.”
Phil nodded and his lips broke out into a big smile. “You’re welcome, Dan. I’ll always be around to help you and cheer you on.”
Dan felt a warmth spread in his stomach with Phil’s words and they shared a quick glance before walking out together from Mr. Perkins room and dispersing their own ways.
***
Two days later on a Friday is Dan’s swim meet and his body is buzzing with nerves and anxiety. He’s swam his race a few different times in preparation and he was right on track for beating the record that he wanted to beat and he was ready for it to begin.
He was introduced to the recruiter, who was a middle aged man named Don, and he promptly shook hands with him and introduced himself. He spoke with Don for a few moments before he was called over by the coach that their meet was beginning.
After watching his school and teammates crush their competitors in every race, it was finally time for him to do his own. His signature butterfly where he was going to beat his record and he was determined to impress the recruiter.
He stood on the board and waited until they blew the first whistle and he bent down, taking his stance. He waited for the second whistle blow and then launched himself into the water and swam.
He had to do 5 laps but he knew he could do it. He was feeling energized and ready for anything given the last few weeks he had just went through. He finishes the first lap, and then the second, and the third, fourth, and fifth and he taps the mat at the end to be done and when he lifts his head up, everyone is cheering and the bleachers are being pounded and he turns around and looks at the board and sees his time.
He’s absolutely destroyed his record time he set as a freshman and happy tears well in his eyes as everyone else cheers for him. He gets out of the pool and shares some moments with his teammates before his coach walks over and hugs him. It’s the first time his coach as ever hugged him but he’ll take it since he knows how proud his coach is of him.
He sits the rest of the meet out and watches his team win in the end like he knew they would have. Dan takes a few photos with the sports broadcaster from the local newspaper and then he makes his way over to the familiar black haired male he’s seen enough in his last few weeks.
Phil is busy writing down some more notes in his scraggly notebook and Dan smiles down at him. “Going to write another article on me?”
Phil looks up and blushes. “I’ve been covering you since we were freshman.”
“I know.” Dan says. “I’ve read everything you’ve written.”
“You have?” Phil asks and Dan nods.
Dan opens his mouth to speak again when a hand is on his shoulder and he’s being turned around. Don is stood there, his hand extended out in a handshake and Dan firmly takes it and shakes it.
“Congratulations, Dan.” He begins. “I know what I just saw here is definitely WVU material and I know I would be honored to have you at WVU. But I’ll need to run it by our college board and you’ll hear from us in a few days.”
Dan feels himself shake and his lips curl into a smile that he cannot stop. He nods quickly and immediately says. “Thank you so much! I’ll look forward to hearing from you!”
Don leaves and gathers his things and Dan turns around to Phil writing some more in his notebook. “Phil, I cannot thank you enough now. Without you helping me in English, I never would have done any of this tonight and it really means a lot to me.”
“It’s no problem.” Phil says. “I knew how much swim meant to you after covering you for so long and I know you really wanted to be recruited by WVU. Congratulations.”
Phil sticks his hand out for a handshake too but Dan ignores it and pulls him into another hug. This time, it was less awkward and less fueled by emotions and more fueled by just kindness and appreciation. Phil returns the hug easily and when they break off, Dan smiles at him and blushes and Phil blushes back.
After Phil leaves, Dan meets back up with his team and they all go out for dinner that night to celebrate the big achievements.
***
“Western Valley University is pleased to announce that we would love to have you on our swim team for the 2019-2020 school year and all years following, albeit with good academic standing. Your academic transcript and your sports involvement is what WVU is looking for. If you decide to accept our invitation, your tuition will be paid in full for each school year that you remain on the team.
You are now welcome to visit our pool and aquatics center whenever needed and contact Don Everson to begin your formal preparation.
If you are accepting our invitation, you need to submit a $250 deposit in the form of a check to the WVU Admissions office no later than February 1st.
Congratulations,
WVU Admissions Office and Office of Sports Inclusion”
When Dan sees the email a week after the meet, he cries. He’s not even ashamed to say he cries but he does because this all he ever wanted and he’s finally getting it. He lets himself reread the email over and over again and he even texts screenshots of it to PJ and Chris.
He then goes down to his mom and dad and tells them the good news and they all hug him and kiss and shower him with affection and they take him out to a fancy dinner downtown. Dan’s never felt this before and he’s so damn happy he cannot contain it.
When he gets home from the celebrations and he’s laying in bed, he finds himself realizing that he had one more person he wanted to text the news to: Phil. He’d spoken to Phil a bit more since the meet but Phil has been a bit distant and a bit more stressed than Dan’s seen him recently. So in all honesty, Dan’s kind of been avoiding him.
But Dan wants to tell him the good news so he does.
Dan: WVU is giving me a full ride
Phil: Dan that’s amazing!! congrats
Dan smiled proudly and read over the text a few more times. He suddenly wanted to see Phil and talk with him in person. He felt like maybe Phil would be the best person for him to talk to about this since both PJ and Chris weren’t attending college and he had a feeling that Phil was.
Dan: can we meet up?
Phil: where?
Dan: your house?
Phil: sure
Dan drives to Phil’s house and when he arrives there, Phil answers the door in a pair of emoji pajamas and a baggy Friends shirt. Dan is about to say something about them but instead, he walks inside and is greeted by Phil’s mom opening her arms for a hug.
“Phil told me the great news! I’m so happy for you, dear! Phil got a good scholarship too and I’m glad you both are going on to do such great things.”
Dan doesn’t question her about Phil’s supposed scholarship but it sits heavy in his mind. He does laugh though at the way Phil’s groans and lets out a dragged out ‘mom’ before his mom hushes him with a hand wave.
They head upstairs to Phil’s room and they both take a seat on Phil’s bed before either of them speak.
“So you got a good scholarship too?” Dan asks.
Phil nods. “Yeah.”
“What is it?”
Phil looks at him. “It’ll make me look like a pretentious dick when you find out.”
Dan shakes his head. “No, it won’t.”
“Remember how I went to that conference about a month ago?” Dan nods because that’s how he knew Phil was the real deal with English. “It was a conference hosted by Oxford University in England and they asked me to study at their uni and they’re giving me a full ride to Christchurch.”
Dan looks at Phil and his mouth drops open. Dan wasn’t that smart when it came to colleges but he knew Oxford was a big deal. “Phil, that’s amazing! That’s such an amazing opportunity!”
“Well, yeah.” Phil says. “And I’d be stupid not to take it so I am but it doesn’t help that I don’t know what I want to do with my life.”
“To be fair, I don’t either.” Dan chimes in.
“Yeah, but you have swim to fall back on and honestly, I was comparing your times in my article and you’re close to beating Michael Phelps and you could be an Olympian. What am I going to fall back on?”
Dan shakes his head incredulously. “You have English. Look at how smart you are. You could literally do anything or write anything and it would literally become the next Hemingway.”
“Thank you.” Phil says, his voice shaking a bit. “I’ve never been told that before.”
“Phil, I’ve read everything you’ve written about me and I’ve seen all that you can do when you tutor me. You’re incredible, literally, in every way.”
Dan doesn’t know where all of this is coming from but suddenly, he has the overwhelming urge to put his hand on Phil’s cheek and hold him close…and maybe even kiss him?
Phil swallows and looks down at his feet. “Can I tell you something that I’m probably going to regret later?”
Dan wrinkles his forehead but nods anyway and Phil lets out a long sigh.
“The only reason I began writing was because I wanted to join the newspaper so I could cover sports and cover you because I’ve had a crush on your since we were 10.”
Dan looks at Phil and lets out little noise before he decides now is the time to do what he was just thinking about he leans down and brushes their lips together. It’s awkward and their teeth clash a bit but when they get it right, their lips lock and Phil whimpers.
Dan pulls back and catches his breath. “I’m 90% sure I’ve had a crush on you since you began to write on me but honestly, tutoring with you was so damn hard when I started noticing how beautiful you are.”
Phil’s cheeks flush even deeper and he lets out a laugh. “These last few weeks have been something else, haven’t they?”
Dan nods and laughs too because they really have.
He went from being a prime swimmer to failing English and nearly losing everything. But now, he’s passing English and has a cute guy to keep him on his toes and he’s going to a great college on a full ride scholarship where he continue to do what he loves.
Dan leans down and he and Phil kiss one more time before Dan pulls back and they both smile at each other.
The future may still be a bit rocky but at least they know right now what they both want.
