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My beta commented 'heck' and then 'HECK' on certain parts of tomorrow's chapter of Clean Slate and... I don't think she's ever done that. I think I maybe got one heck out of chapter 13 and nothing really sense. lol That's basically her way of saying OH SHIT.

So... Yeah.... Really wondering what you guys are gonna think of this...

#lil scared ngl #i worked so hard on this chapter though #preparing my rotten produce shield #oh shit moments ahead #prepare thineself #clean slate #my writing #fanfiction #sonadow #18+ fic

Perseverance - Chapter Twenty

Dad always told me that one day his rule would end and that it would then be my time to rule in his place. And I knew it, but I never really… understood. Boss monsters are immortal, right? I just kind of… thought that he’d keep going on. But he’s gone now. He’s gone and no one knows what to do now. I keep on thinking that if I go to the garden enough, then I’ll… see him again. But he’s gone. And it’s all my fault. He’d still be immortal if I was never born… And I’m supposed to take over now, when he ruled for over three thousand years. How? How on earth am I supposed to follow on from THAT? He’s all that anyone’s ever known by now. And I’m… just going to disappoint everyone now. I need help. But the only person who really knows what this is like. Who would REALLY understand… was him. I never wanted this. I just want him back. I’m… terrified. “Back here again?” I jumped at Chara’s voice. I tried to dry my eyes, but the tears wouldn’t stop coming. “… Yeah. I… I just keep on thinking…” “That if you come here enough then he’ll come back?” They gave my hand a small squeeze. I looked away again. “S-Sounds stupid, I know…” “… Why do you think I came here in the first place?” Chara picked a daisy and twirled it in their hand. “I miss him too.” They continued. They looked up and gave a sad sigh. “He was the most… selfless person I ever knew. So generous and kind.” They turned my head to face them. Their beautiful red eyes, so passionate and intense, stared into my soul. That look still made my heart flutter even after all of these years of marriage. How on earth did they do that? I noticed that their eyes were puffy too. Seemed like they’d cried recently as well. “Generous and kind…” They continued. “Just like you.” “But he was wise too.” I frowned. “A good leader. And I’m… not.” “I wouldn’t say ‘wise’ – too impulsive for that. But he did give good advice, that he learnt from thousands of years of experience. I would say that you… actually have a head-start on him.” I looked at Chara in surprise. “Really?! … How?” “You have more of your mother’s intellect. You’re less brash and impulsive when it comes to decision-making. Usually.” They grinned. Despite myself, I gave a small chuckle. “Yeah. Usually. Don’t know if that alone will make me a good leader though.” “Come here.” They patted their lap and, with a smile, I lay my head down, trying to be careful of my horns. They picked more daisies and set to work making a flower crown. I smiled, looking at their super-serious face of concentration. “Thanks, by the way. I think I feel a bit better now.” “You’re welcome.” They leaned in and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “And just so you know, you aren’t alone. And neither was Asgore. He made the decisions, but with Toriel’s help and guidance almost all of the time.” “’The real brain behind the throne.’” “I look forward to being your queen.” “So you can make decisions for me?” I frowned. “Not sure how to take that, but… thanks…?” “It was a joke.” Their smile was gentle as they put the flower crown on my head. “But in all seriousness, you are not the only one who lost a father. I know that all of us… humans… can empathise. He was a father figure to all of us too. So, if you want or need help or emotional support, you can ask us. But mostly me. You are not alone, my love.” They leaned down and kissed me. They stroked my head as I kissed them back. “I love you.” I breathed. “I love you too.” Their voice was soft and gentle as they continued to stroke me. “You saved my life and gave me a reason to live again, and hope for the future – how could I not?” I frowned. “Don’t say that – there’s always a reason to live.” “And meeting you, Toriel and As-… well…” They swallowed. “You all, as well as the… the rest of monsterkind… were my reason to live too. Helping improve their lives.” They sighed, their eyes filling with tears. “I just wish… he could have lived to see the Surface again. He should have been able to see a sunset and the stars once more. With you. I… should have tried harder.” They started crying again, and that set me off. Again. I reached up and hugged them. “Hey… shh… it’s okay, what could you have done…? You don’t control how long people live…” “I-I… suppose not…” They sniffled and tried to wipe their eyes, but the tears kept on coming. “And… it’s not your fault he’s… gone too.” We stayed like that for a while, holding each other. Then Chara looked up at me and dried my tears. “Crybaby.” I smiled and did the same to them. “Takes one to know one.” Despite themselves, Chara gave a small chuckle. “I suppose so.” They gave me a kiss on the cheek. I felt my face flush red. Judging by Chara’s look, they noticed it too, despite my white fur. “Awww, you’re as adorable as ever!” “O-Oh gosh, I’m not adorable, I’m thirty!” “That means nothing to me. You will be adorable regardless of how old or young you are.” “Nooo! I’m not cute!” I hid my face behind my hands. “Are so.” “Are not!” “You are literally wearing a flower crown right now.” Blushing even more, I took it off. “Heey, I worked mildly hard on that.” Chara pouted and stuck their tongue out at me. “It’s not my fault that you can’t take a compliment, Your Royal Fluffiness.” “Aaaa!” I hid my face again. I felt Chara hug me from behind. “… But seriously, I will be there for you, as your Queen, partner, spouse, advisor and…” They dangled a golden heart-shaped locket in front of me. “Your best friend.” Crudely engraved on the front were the words ‘Best Friends Forever’ – my present to them after they had finally healed from their fall into the Underground. “Thank you.” I smiled gratefully and patted their hand. “I just… hope I can do him proud.” “Okay, well, remind me again…” They walked in front of me again, clasping my hands in theirs. “What was he like? What did he think of you?” They gave me a knowing smile. We both knew how happy and clingy he could be at times – how he put my terrible drawings on the fridge, as well as any A-Grade papers. He took So. Many. Embarrassing. Photos. And he always swung me around happily whenever I learnt a new spell. The list went on. And on. And some more after that. “… Fair point.” We both laughed. “He was always proud of you, and he always will be. And you will be worthy of that praise, too.” “I hope so…” “I know so.” Chara stood up and held their hand out to me. “It starts soon. Are you ready?” “… No.” I sighed as I summoned up the courage to stand up and keep on going. “Let’s do it anyway.” I grabbed their hand and pulled myself up. I didn’t let go either, as we walked to the grand hall – the venue for Dad’s funeral. I needed all the support I could get. I was terrified of being alone.

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guys it’s been officially Halloween since yesterday, the Party City commercial for costumes showed on TV

#halloween #prepare thineself #for hte spoopyness #just a thought

green teal scarlet maroon cinnamon periwinkle mauve blush owo

GREEN = I think you’re cute.TEAL = We have a lot in common.SCARLET = You have influenced my decision/thoughts on something.MAROON = You taught me something new. CINNAMON = You’re a really cool person and admire you from afar. PERIWINKLE = You make me laughMAUVE = You are really talentedBLUSH = Seeing you on my dash makes my day a little better.

get your ass over here right nowi’m gonna hug the shit outta you one of these days you know that right

#sunfish #ask #prePARE THINESELF #godfuck i can't wait for december