#pretendingtoadult

[inquisitorhotpants]

Totally the face of a people person you'd want working for you, right? #interviewday #pretendingtoadult

[anntieem]

#pretendingtoadult #gamenights @doodleforfood https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu0bYMpARZQ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=qocnf8bslqfq

[unstable-fae]

Sometimes no matter what i’m doing I can’t help but feel like a child, like I’ll be out running errands or just sitting in my apartment, or anything else I couldn’t even do as a child and I just have this feeling like I’m actually 5 and I’m a little worried someone is going to notice and be like ‘why is this child unattended and trying to deposit money into a bank account?!??!’

[fallingintoshadows]

It's just dawned on me that I'm 23 and will soon have two kids. Jesus Christ, when did I turn into a grown up?

[drsus13]

So we found this... #sold #icanteven #pretendingtoadult #biggirldecisions #nailedit

[heylabodega]

i have followed you for many years & always found solace in your writing. on friday the man i thought i would love forever, who i had planned my future with, who i moved to the shittiest place in canada to be closer to while he pursued his dream, told me he didnt love me anymore. ill spare the specifics but he was harsh and extremely brutal with me showing a side i'd never seen in my 2.5 years with him. how do i move on? how do i stop questioning that i never saw this? how do i stop loving him?

Oh, Alexandra.  This breaks my heart for you, I feel like I’ve seen your relationship through Instagram and here and I’m so sorry to hear that it ended, and like this.  I wanted to answer you right away but I’m still trying to figure out what to say.  

Betrayals, I think, are really hard because they don’t just make you angry at the other person, they make you question your own judgment.  They make you feel foolish.  Like the ground has fallen out from beneath you and you should have seen it coming.  Please don’t let yourself feel foolish.  Insensitive people, and The World In General likes to make it seem like vulnerability and the ability/tendency to trust are weaknesses.  They aren’t.  You trusted someone who said he loved you and acted like he loved you, to love you.  That’s not only good, it’s completely reasonable.  He’s behaved badly and I think it’s important to know that, and be angry for a while, and then, hopefully, as soon as possible but no sooner, forgive him.  Not because he deserves it, but because you do.  You deserve to live a life where at first this hurts you, it hurts and hurts and hurts, just piercingly so sometimes you feel like you can’t breathe, because that’s how vulnerable and trusting people are going to feel sometimes.  It sucks ballsssssss I knowwwww.  But the trade off is after that–again, just exactly when it’s possible, not half the time of the relationship or on your anniversary or when you start seeing people again, just whenever you can–you get to let it go.  Because fuck him, honestly, in the most goddamn forgiving zen Oprah way possible fuckkk himm and his cowardly brutal bullshit.  You deserve to move on in your nebulous own time because you deserve the later, better, much much much longer part of your life where you look back on it and go, sort of distantly, “Can you even believe???” and someone who loves you, really truly tenderly embarrassingly loves you, runs a thumb across your cheekbone and goes, “No I cannot,” because they CAN’T they love you so much and think you’re so impossibly beautiful inside and out, they think about you so much that it distracts them at work sometimes, they literally cannot believe someone couldn’t see how precious you are.

Please don’t let this make you falter or undermine yourself.  It’s not your responsibility to stay lovable–because being loved is your right–it’s his responsibility to stay capable of loving.  This doesn’t speak to your lovability at all, because lovability is infinite.  This doesn’t say anything about you.  Only about him, and only bad and ultimately sort of sad things about him.  Be Taylor Swift-ian in your adamance about your experiences.  This all happened, it happened exactly the way you remember it, it was real, it’s still real, that doesn’t change and he can’t take it away.  Please give him as little power as possible here.  When you can, try to remember that it’s better you saw this side of him before you loved him forever.  It’s like that part in That Thing You Do where Liv Tyler cries in the dressing room, in this beautiful white satin and red velvet dress and says “I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you,” and walks out, dignified in her raw emotion.  If even remotely possible, try to be grateful you won’t be wasting any more kisses on him.

I saw the part about no texts while your phone was off and holy crap do I FEEL THAT.  But you aren’t alone.  You have your family, and you have your friends, and you have the internet.  Most importantly, you also have you, and I gotta tell you that being your own best friend is this weird, lonely, kind of awesome thing.  Like I don’t quite know how to describe it except that I feel fond of myself in the same way I feel fond of my best friends, like I like what I have to say and I think I’m funny and I love my outfits and I want to talk to myself about my day and see what I have to say about it.  And I think that’s something that when you’re first alone (not alone) feels like a thing you HAVE to do–become best friends with yourself.  But the further you get in, the more it feels like a thing you GET to do.

Anyways, I know that we’ve never technically “met” but I am totally here for you, you can come to New York for an Empowered Women With Great Croptops Weekend of Drinking and Running and Feeling Feelings, or you can text or call, or just if you ever need to know that other people are out there, allowing themselves to feel powerful and bright but also alone and hurt sometimes, well, I am, we are, and we are all going to shine like fireworks over the cold empty towns of guys we wasted kisses on, to combine my two pop culture references.  I’m so excited for you to get to that part, where you get to think about this, when you think about it at all which is rare because your life has blossomed like a healthy plant from the the fertilizer of this bullshit, as a Learning Experience or whatever mature things people say, but in the meantime in this part which can last as long as you need where you’re reeling and hurting and sad and angry, I am here for you and so I’m sure is anyone reading this, does it help at all to think of this network of people all connected by nothing except the twinkly spindly thread of being on your side and wanting the best for you and knowing that you’re absolutely going to get it?

[mikimaree]

Dear lord I'm full! #IAmMasterChef #PretendingToAdult #LunchDates

[thesandwichenthusiast]

I didn't have much in my fridge this morning so I whipped up a sandwich with smoked salmon, cream cheese, capers, and cucumbers on flax bread and it was so good I might not get groceries on the way home so I have an excuse to eat it again!

Love this! Sounds sooo good. I’ve never done it on flax bread, but it totally makes sense. Thanks for sharing!