#primary relationship

[athousandgateaux]

In an important passage, [Levinas] writes: ‘Existence is not synonymous with the relationship with a world; it is antecedent to the world. In the situation of an end of the world the primary relationship which binds us to Being becomes palpable’. In this passage, Levinas is assigning a reality to existence that is not dependent on there being a world in the first place. Rather, existence precedes the birth of the world, marking a constant presence that is at once immersed in the world of things but at the same time resistant to being identified with those things. For this reason, ‘Being is essentially alien and strikes against us. We undergo its suffocating embrace like the night, but it does not respond to us’. At the same time, this pre-human existence also emerges in ‘the twilight of the world’ whereupon the appearance of the subject folds back upon its disappearance.

Dylan Trigg, The Thing: A Phenomenology of Horror, pg. 48

[kimchicuddles]

Rules to ensure your primary relationship never changes...

Keep Kimchi Cuddles (and my other projects) going strong by becoming a patron, and get some cool gifts! Thank you SO MUCH for your support!! ♥ https://www.patreon.com/kimchicuddles

[falulu]

For Poly people who use the term "primary" what's the difference between a primary and non primary? Why the title Primary if there is no favorite? Doesn't that make it seem as if all other relationships are not as valuable/less? Why is one often displayed in social media versus the other being kept secret rarely displayed if there isn't a favorite? If your primary suddenly said "I don't wanna be poly anymore, let's shut this down and make It just us" would you do it? Why or why not? I am starting to like someone who is poly, I myself am not and actually okay with him having other partners, like I am they're cool people. I find it hard to develop a romantic connection to people, so I am fine with just one...it's not the other partners that would make me worry so much as feeling like I'm less in the relationship, easily discarded or not as important as the "primary" like she is the Queen and I a mistress. like I am a "side piece" with permission (I don't mean to sound ignorant but yeah) No fighting kthnx

[tokeik]

The argument over hierarchy is one of the most contentious, but often those that argue will agree on everything except what the term "hierarchy" even means.

When Hierarchies Collide

It is here that the argument usually emerges. From the outside, the various commitments can make it look like the relationship is hierarchical. When someone encounters a descriptive hierarchy, they may label that relationship hierarchical by default, but a relationship with these commitments can still be considered nonhierarchical, in the sense that the positions in the relationships are not set in stone. In a non-hierarchical relationship, you are not set in the boxes of Primary or Secondary; the relationships may evolve, grow, or fade naturally. This is the most important distinction between the two; that a prescriptive hierarchy attempts to enforce that relationships will stay within their boxes and not change.

When it comes down to it, for the most part when people are talking about hierarchical relationships, what they really mean is a prescriptive hierarchy, but will push against the idea that a descriptive hierarchy could exist. In actuality, both exist, but the only one that should be called a hierarchical relationship would be a prescriptive hierarchy. Now you know!

[kimchicuddles]

why does it hurt?

[kimchicuddles]

You can not follow authentic connections without relinquishing control over the structure of how they will look