Discover Top Posts Tagged with #primordialvoidblog

Popular Recent

I think all of the gender dysphoria I’ve ever had has more to do with species dysphoria. I’m not meant to be perceived by human eyes. I don’t like when they pass their judgments on me. I’m not a man or a woman but they still see and assume and make judgments based on my clothes or my voice or my body. This body is not mine, it’s a rotting suit of meat and bones. It’s body horror at its most visceral.

#primordialvoidblog #otherkin #species dysphoria #nonhuman #nonbinary #eldritchkin

My hands are sensual, slow moving, perfectly timed. The hands of others are skittish, quick, unfeeling. No one is romantic. No one is sensual. Only my hands know how to touch me. I am my lover, my future spouse, my soulmate. My lips kiss down my arms, gentle and sincere. I wear lingerie in my room alone, admiring my reflection, feeling a solemn loneliness, but knowing that my heart has been stolen and crushed. Not allowed to love them, not allowed to hold them. So I hold myself, I love myself, I know I won’t love anyone the same as I love them, and if I had the capability, they wouldn’t love me back. There is no one else compatible with me anyway, there was only you. I have failed at my destiny, if I was ever meant for another. So I will touch myself when I desire company, I will hold myself when I desire warmth, and I will love myself. Even if I fail to see something lovable in myself, I saw myself in you. In that, I know I am my perfect match. My love for you is requited in me.

#primordialvoidblog #writing #autosexual

What in the living fuck am I? I’m not a human man or a human woman. But what is a nonhuman man and a nonhuman woman? How do non earth species perceive gender? How do gods perceive gender? How is it different for them? We even have species on earth who are the complete opposite of the stereotypes humans present for gender. Male birds are the ones who are pretty, while human men are ridiculed for being pretty. Female hyenas are strong and dominant, while human women are expected to be demure and seen as fragile. I have to think from my perspective. What is a man to me? What is a woman to me? How do I reflect the binary genders in myself? Because I do feel…some sort of connection to them. But any time I try to behave like a human man, I feel like it’s a costume. Any time I try to behave like a human woman, I feel like it’s a costume. Because I’m not normal. As a man I’m like a peacock. Flamboyant, colorful, creative…what society would call feminine, what society would look at and say “that looks too much like a woman to be a man” and as a woman, I want to be a lioness. Protective of my loved ones, unapologetically loud and honest, and confident, despite the fact that I’m someone that the world wants to silence. When I allow myself to be pushed into a box, I am effectively silenced. I’m not a human man, I am effectively, a human woman. Through and through I am a human woman. Because I am too soft to them to be a man. And I am not a man. I do not feel like a man, or a woman. Not a human one. I am not human, so how can I fit into what they want? I can’t. I’ve tried. It always makes me uncomfortable and miserable. I’m not “nothing” in terms of gender. I’m just not able to be comprehended by a human, just told that I’m wrong. My body is neutral now to human standards, as neutral as I can make it without more surgeries. Yet I still feel insecurity, because I know that my scars show them what I am. They give them an idea. Their idea is…wrong but it’s all they know to be right. My skin is my skin…but it’s not me. Just like a shirt or a pair of pants isn’t you. I have made myself as close to my internal essence as I can. As close to the most humanoid physical form that it presents itself in. Yet I’m still seen as something to them. I’m not a human woman and I’m not a human man. But I will always be seen. I am an alien. So alien that I’m not even from this universe. I am on a planet with a different culture that doesn’t match my internal experience. Most people assimilate to the new culture when they move. But the lioness doesn’t want to assimilate. She doesn’t want the peacock to assimilate either. But she knows that she has to carry this. That she has to carry the body. That he may not be seen. That he cannot be seen. She is kind for hiding him, so that they stop telling him to rip off his feathers. Because he will, because he has. He is not a hunter, he does not stand up for himself, and every time he was wronged, it was her who roared.

#primordialvoidblog #shadow work #gender nonconforming #gender dysphoria #otherkin #species dysphoria #trauma #nonbinary

Growling/purring tutorial

I don’t know how I do it necessarily, it just kind of started one day but to replicate it, what I can do is take a deep breath in, keep my mouth closed and sort of gargle in my throat and it creates a growling noise that can sound kind of like purrs as well.

#primordialvoidblog #otherkin #therian #dragonkin #dogkin #wolfkin #catkin

The day ended up being a lot better. I got nice things and enjoyed spending time with people. Lilith’s comment on my post earlier helped me to feel a lot better too tbh.

#primordialvoidblog

I hate how negative I am. I just want to be able to look at a video of a cute animal and not think to myself “I hate that humans hurt animals for literally no reason” it was a video of a happy kitten. But all I could think about how humans hurt innocent and fragile beings that deserve nothing but kindness and love. Obviously not all humans hurt animals but I know that some do and it makes me angry. This is kind of a lukewarm take, yes, but I don’t care.

#primordialvoidblog #shadow work #trauma #misanthropy

Takes I have that people used to get mad at me about, or things I worry people would get mad at me about, which caused me to stop verbalizing them:

Humans shouldn’t reproduce. At all. Not until they fix their fucked up society.

Society in most places is inherently bad.

Sex is fake, as in birth sex. Humans should do away with the concept and everyone should learn to stop associating physical traits with sex as well. I’m guilty of it too. It’s a poison from society.

There aren’t any bad kinks as long as clear consent is involved. There are some kinks that can be dangerous, but even vanilla sex can be dangerous. People can’t help what they’re attracted to and you should be allowed to engage in whatever you want to as long as both parties are able and willing to consent.

I have opinions on the meat industry which I still feel like I shouldn’t share.

#primordialvoidblog #antinatalism #misanthropy

I’m not human

You are a god

I am a god?

I am a god

You are not a god

I am not a god

I am a man

You are not a man

I am not a man

You are a woman