Warnings: Essentially every kink under the sun. Everything from breeding to CNC.
I’ve always said I’ll try anything in bed once, which has lead to some rather interesting scenarios, some new kinks, and some things I’m never doing again. I know everyone jokes about wrapping a fruit roll up around their partner’s dick, but it’s really not that fun. Unless you did what we did and bought the ones with tongue tattoos. His dick had stains for a few days.
Headcannons below cut!
Superstarbur: Superstarbur is very dominant in bed, but we all knew this. Choking, spanking, handcuffing his partner, tying his partner to the bed, edging, orgasm denial, making his partner beg, ruining their orgasm, and blindfolding them is what gets him off. Anything he can do to hold his power over you. He does work hard to get his partner off, not because it turns him on, but because it strokes his massive ego that he’s making you feel that good. Obviously, this man is packing a massive dick. Long, thick, and perfectly curved to hit all the spots you want it to.
Simpbur: Simpbur is quite submissive, but sometimes his obsessive nature wins and he’s demanding what he wants you to do to him. He loves to be tied down, blindfolded, choked, edged, and having his orgasms controlled by his partner. In fact, nothing turns him on more than being told exactly if and when he’s allowed to cum. If he’s being obsessive, he’ll beg to get his face sat on. He’d happily suffocate to let you use his face to get off. Call him a ‘good boy’ and he may cum in his pants. As for size, he’s a bit below average.
Incelbur: Nobody is more submissive than Incelbur. His kinks are whatever his partner’s kinks are, and he never thinks about your pleasure. He’ll jackhammer you until he cums within minutes, rolling away when he’s finished. Poor guy has a very below average dick, and if he was a decent partner, it wouldn’t matter.
Dadbur: Unsurprisingly, Dadbur has a breeding kink. His breeding kink doesn’t just involve the thought of stuffing you full of his cum, but all the dirty talk. He needs you to beg for it, needs to tell you how perfect your body is for carrying his baby, needs you to want it as badly as he does. He’s a switch, playing whatever part his partner wants from him. His partner’s pleasure is all he wants, and thinks nothing about his orgasm. It’s all about what they want. It’s rare you two would have rough, kinky sex. He prefers worshipping your body, kissing every inch, and preferring to enjoy the feelings of your bodies together instead of worrying about the climax. He’s just above average down there, but it’s thick, heavy, and curved so beautifully, you can’t believe it’s real.
Princebur: Considering Princebur doesn’t know much about sex and has only been with you, he doesn’t have any. He just loves how amazing it feels to be inside you, feel your body next to his, and lives for the feeling of your skin against his. To him, sex is far more than just producing heirs. Pretty ahead of his time. Everything about his dick is average, but obviously, he doesn’t know that people get hung up about size. Such a simple time, huh?
Vampirebur: Vampirebur is a switch. I have no basis for this, but it’s true. He loves to bite you HARD during sex, drawing blood to lick up, especially between your legs. The sight of his cum mixing with your blood makes him need a second round almost immediately. He’s basically the ideal partner if you’re into temperature play, his icy dick pushing into your warm body and making you feel every vein stretch you open. His dick is long but the girth is pretty subpar.
Emobur: Emobur is a soft dom, liking playful domination over harsh control. This man is probably the second kinkiest out of the Bursonas, second to only Superstarbur. He loves anything dubcon related, whether he’s using you in your sleep for his somnophilia kink, chasing you down in the woods to itch his predator and prey kink, or pretending to jump through your window, muffle your protests in your pillow, and ‘force’ himself on you for his CNC kink. He’s a little embarrassed to be into such kinks, making triple sure you know the safe word and giving plenty of aftercare.
This was an art made for my friend (who shall remain anonymous), but the original version of this character is from my AU where Wilbur is a spoiled prince who was bethroted to an Emperor of the neighbouring country to seal the alliance set between them. At first Wilbur is very much against losing his freedom to a half-piglin brute, but he quickly realises that Emperor Technoblade is much different than the rumours paint him…
(Btw the art has nothing to do with the creator wilbur soot. Fuck that bitch. The character in the picture is inspired by c!wilbur, but is heavily altered to match the AU.)
About; After being sent away by your mother, abruptly might I add, to a whole new kingdom; a new life, as a physician's apprentice, you run into a complete asshole.
Warning(s); Swearing, Mention of pillory (although idk if that's a warning), dont know why but usage of cringey ass names cus I dont know wtf to call the characters (apologies to all the Isaacs), Mention of dagger, Not proofread :)
A/N; So uh holy shit. came home back to 21 damn notes on the last (first) fic I posted so I just guessed somehow that you all are in love with Wilbur.. So here's another one ✌️ (Also Niki, our beloved, is here <33)
Taglist; (I forgot to add this but uhhh lmk if you wanna be added to the taglist)
The rest of the story contracted very shortly, you had ended up in prison after the prince, who you now knew as Wilbur, had ordered for you to be sent to jail for six nights and then made you lovely reservations to the royal stables to muck it out clean. The thing is, that wasnt even the best part. You had to sit through approximately more than 3 whole hours, being lectured by your uncle, inside prison might I add, about how that was 'irresponsible' and could've gotten you in trouble. He wasnt wrong, not one bit, but that self obsessed ass really got on your nerves. Plus, you were pretty sure the jailors were also tired from the continuous scolding.
So after what felt like a lifetime of being lectured, Phil let you know that he talked to Wilbur's father who was, surprise surprise, a really good friend of your uncle's and managed to get you out of that hellhole after two nights but apparently, you had to keep your end of the deal as well.
And that's how you found yourself, trapped in a pillory, as rotten tomatoes, apples and other decaying fruits and vegetables were thrown at you by children and adolescents at surprising speed.
Needless to say, Phil had to draw you a huge bath and help you get pieces of unrecognizable fruit that stuck to your hair. And you're probably never seeing your tunic again either. After that the lectures did indeed stop, as you made a begrudging Phil promise, yet the infamous raise of his 'better not try anything' brow did not. You already had a daily entitlement to that hawk look of Phil's ever since he found out that your mother sent you to L'manberg because she was afraid for your safety.
She had sent a letter with you to hand over to Phil which probably mentioned something about your 'gifts', or whatever she called it. It was true that you would probably be considered an outcast there if anyone but your mum and your best friend, Isaac had found out. You knew that you had a little bit of, if not the whole of your existence, related to Merlin Ambrosius according to all the bed time stories you've learned from you mother. So it made some sense that you were related to sorcery. But that just made Phil more concerned about you and try to keep you out of possible danger, which you appreciated in some way.
And so, with countless warnings to you about keeping your 'special abilities', as he liked to call it, out of hindsight, he just pushed some vials full of, what you guessed were probably disgusting, medicine into your hands and told you that those needed carrying to various people around the castle and village, whose names you probably would've forgotten if Phil didnt drill it into your mind. So off you went on you 'merry' way to only run into the person you least expected to meet.
"Ah, I see some time in the stocks were just what you needed" Wilbur smirked with a raised bow as if asking you to confirm his suspicions. Keep walking, keep walking, keep wal-
"Come on now, no need to be afraid of me" he sounded pretty satisfied with the jab as your legs pause to let yourself take a deep breath.
"From you ?" you asked, still with your back facing him and not letting him have the satisfaction of ticking you off. Honestly, you've genuinely had enough of him.
"And the idiot speaks" he smirked. You hear the contact of his boots clashing with the hard rock of the surface.
"Look, I already told you you're an ass. Guess I just didnt realize that its a prince's one" you slowly turned around on your heel only to be met with his slightly amused look of shock and his other 'henchmen'.
"What's this now ? Got daddy's men to protect you ?" you gestured to the men surrounding him. He chuckles, his caramel eyes glinting with a hint of gold in the sun light though you could only interpret him as 'up his own ass'.
"You do know that Im capable of handling myself right ?" he replied sarcastically, though he seemed pretty adamant that he could knock you out with one blow (which he probably could and you already knew you were in trouble)
"Never knew that" you sent him a mock shocked expression before continuing.
"Care to set an example ?" your tone was nonchalant yet your mind was running feral. Genuinely not because of this dumbass infront of you but because you were in for another lecture when you're done.
Wilbur raised a brow in a challenging manner, chuckling lightly before maintaining direct eye contact with you.
"You dont know what you're getting yourself into, do you ?" he paused for your confirmation.
"I am very much aware, actually"
Well, another long story short, you were done. Wilbur had handed you a flail to make the 'competition' fair and things commenced. Both Wilbur and you had flipped over dozens of carts and boxes as he tried to corner you in for easy access and your weak spots while, to be honest, you were just swinging the flail around in defence with slight co-ordination, having never picked up the said mace in your life before. You could feel the now forming crowd's eyes burning into you as he had effectively trapped you between a wall and a wooden stall.
Before you could even process it, your eyes flashed a shade of gold, which thankfully no one saw, and his mace was stuck, wrapped around a pole. It bought you a bit more time to get properly on your feet and grab a near by broom. Just as you neared him, to demand for him to submit, you saw your uncle Phil in the crowd with the most disappointed and disapproving face he could muster which made you feel more guilty than you've ever been in your life. You felt something in the bottom of your stomach, some itch of sorts. Almost as it you were gettng deja-vu. And in that moment of weakness, Wilbur managed to grab another broom, land a hit on your head, which hurt like hell thank you very much, and trip you. But, surprisingly, he let you go just as the gaurds were about to drag you to the stocks again, saying something about how 'there's something about you that he just cant put his finger on'.
Phil had, instead of the gaurds, dragged you back to physician quarters, scolding you the whole way there. Unfortunately, he had seen your little stunt you pulled to distract Wilbur and went absolutely berserk on how you shouldnt use magic in front of people, that it would get you nowhere but the pyre. You were honestly sick of this, you were sick of this kingdom and you were sick of everything in it, especially that royal prat Wilbur. So you just wordlessly went into your room before throwing yourself on the bed like a ragdoll and spent the rest of the day there. That is, of course, until Phil came in with some kind of poultice to apply on the bruises forming on your arms. You both just conversed like nothing happened before you brought up the topic of your magic. Phil just told you that it was there for a reason he didnt know, but for a reason nonetheless. He gave your head and hair a fatherly ruffle before leaving dinner on your table and out the room.
You woke up slightly numb but better with rest. You left your room and sat down on the wooden dining table as your uncle made you breakfast. You apparently had to give some sort of sleeping draught to the lady Niki because, for some reason, she had trouble sleeping. And while gulping down your breakfast, your uncle informed you of some visiting neighboring king and how there was some sort of welcoming celebration that, as court physician's apprentice, you were allowed to attend. You werent exactly the most excited for hours upon hours of treacherous, boring speeches you've seen back in Willowdale. But you just thanked Phil for the lovely breakfast and carried on with your day. You found the way to lady Niki's chambers with the help of multiple gaurds and got there with slight ease, only since you had directions of course.
Niki was, undoubtedly, the nicest royal you've ever met. She was headstrong and had a lot of courage, while being extremely humble to the point you couldnt even believe she was blood related to that snob. She was incredibly polite and made you feel like you were back with a childhood best friend again. And after giving her the draught and leaving, Niki promised to let you know if she needed anything else. You giddily walked back to the quarters with a smile etched onto your face at your interaction with the lovely lady.
You followed Phil like a lost kid, gawking at everything your eyes land on. The castle was lit with absolutely beautiful shades of colours painted on the candles and the gold decoration shined under its glow. The ambiance was definitely lively with bits and peices of conversations between other people enter your ear.
"You sure this isnt some coronation, Phil ?" you asked, baffled at how above and beyond the royals went for a simple welcoming party. Phil chuckled.
"Of course not," he spoke as if you were a child, even as he said your name.
"As I see you've met Wilbur countless times, him and his father dont take celebrations lightly" Phil let you know with a playful glare at the previous statement. You scoffed, annoyance directed at the specific royal probably more visible now.
"I can see that very clearly, Phil" you glared at the prince you spotted previously, a few moments after you entered the ceremony hall.
You also spotted several well known royals around the kingdom and even outside of it. And of course, along with the visiting king who had all this ceremonious stuff done for him as just a 'gift' from L'manberg, its royals and people.
The celebration went on for a bit more before the royals of L'manberg had to deliver their speech. You had to stand a bit far away at the table and had to stay besides Phil as you listened the never ending string of words. You, god knows why, got that feeling that you've done this before, even when you've lived at Willowdale until now. You shook it off as your mind trying to entertain your bored self.
That is, until you saw a blur of glinting sliver under the low dim of the chandelier. Your eyes tracked down the metal just as it was thrown and, as soon as you saw its designated target, your eyes flashed gold. The dagger slowed its path as you, for whatever reason, found yourself at Wilbur's side in a spur of a second and instinctively pushed him out of the way. You both hit the ground with a thud while you heard worried gasps and murmurs accompanied by the sound of a slash. Wilbur, still dumbfounded, stared as the dagger imbeded itself in the chair he was on mere seconds ago. The sound of hurried footsteps met your ear, the gaurds seizing the man responsible. Wilbur's surprised eyes found yours while yours was still on the dagger. You found Phil staring at you worriedly but he knew not to jump in at this moment, you had just saved the prince's life, albeit putting your own one slightly at risk, but saved it nonetheless.
"Wilbur," you heard the king's concerned voice, making both you and Wilbur scramble to stand up. The king checked Wilbur for any fetal damage but ended up with none.
"You saved my boy's life" he turned to you and you immediately felt all the attention on you. You wished you could smirk in that prat's face, for his 'I can handle myself' bullshit but maybe, just maybe, your mind was a bit more occupied from recent events.
"Gratitude must be repaid" you shook your head at once. No, watching Wilbur's pissed off face in a couple of hours after everything calmed down would be more that enough.
"Dont be so humble, this requires a special merit" the king insisted and, even before you could utter a word, he continued.
"Henceforth, you shall be Prince Wilbur's personal servant" your eyes widened. Sorry, what ?. Even with incredibly delvished hair, Wilbur looked more deadpanned than ever.
"Father!" Wilbur exclaimed in an offended manner but, unfortunately, the king was hearing none of it and left you both, staring at each speechless. You were just about to start jumping at eachother's throat when Phil dragged you both to the physician's quarters to check for injuries.
About; After being sent away by your mother, abruptly might I add, to a whole new kingdom; a new life, as a physician's apprentice, you run into a complete asshole.
Warning(s); Swearing, One mention of the word bruise, Reader has magic (not the cringey type, no offense, the BBC Merlin type :>), Spoiler alert; Wilbur's the asshole, not proof read :D
A/N; I really dont know what Im doing but I just got this idea to write sort of fic based off of BBC Merlin because Im over here stuffing my face full of ice cream after its ending.. So here you go..
"Come on. That's enough, my friend" you forced a polite smile to the brunette standing infront of you, who was partly confused.
You had been on a supply errand for your uncle Phil, best known as the court physician among L'manberg and the outskirts of the kingdom when you saw a group of people picking on who seemed to be a commoner and, with that information, you could peice together that these 'know-it-all's were, most likely, royals. Especially the one who seemed to be the found leader of this group; an unfathomably tall, lanky-limbed brunnete who was now staring you down. And if looks could kill, you've died the moment you stepped into this kingdom.
"Im sorry, do I know you ?" he asked, eyes squinted yet a lone brow raised.. You chuckled, albeit nervously, with a shake of your head..
"Er- sorry" you offered him your name and a friendly handshake, but the way he delivered his question slightly ticked you off.
"And you're meaning to say that I dont know you ?" he asked with a condescending tone seeping through his words, crossing his arms over his chest and fully turning his figure towards you, your hand just raised there awkwardly until you retract it towards you with a sharp nod to yourself..
"Yeah" you answered, partly confirming your suspicion about him being completely pretentious.
"And yet you called me 'friend' ?" he asked with a sarcastic smile. You mirrored his expression with squinted eyes. Oh, he was definitely full of himself.
"Apologies, that was my mistake" you grinned passive aggressively, you fingertips twitching..
"Very much so" he stood with his hand on the hilt of his sheathed sword, simply resting there and not yet sending any warnings, despite being in civil clothing and not requiring a sword to complete the attire.
"Of course, I've never had a friend who could possibly be such an ass" you spit, still maintaining the 'try me, asshole' expression with a forced smile. Your fingers couldnt help but be clenched into fists, willing yourself not to stir up any trouble infront of the whole of L'manberg atleast for the sake of your uncle. Your mother just sent you here and you cant exactly go back to her after not even a week, not when she was worried about your safety there. Deep breaths, and get out.
"Nor I, one who could be so stupid" he retorted, stopping you in your tracks with just his words.
"Kindly tell me," he paused to mockingly say your name, dragging out the last syllable.
"- do you know how to beg for forgiveness ?" he smirked, amused at your boldness, yet possibly pissed off.
"No" you turned on your heel slowly, replying with the same passive aggression, sending him a levelling look. The air was thick, neither of you willing to apologize or back down.
"Would you like me to lend you a hand with that" he asked sarcastically, to which you chuckled.
"Oh I genuinely wouldnt go further down this path if I were you" you breathily replied, still catching your breath. You force your legs to take yourself away from there, just for him to stop you as the brunnete laughed. He let go of the grip on the hilt of the sword and extended it outwards, challenging..
"Or what ? You going to try something ?" he smirked, mocking you with his outstreched hands. Walk away, walk away now or you're in more trouble than just a few bruises when you get back to physician quarters.
"Come on, what is it that you said you were going to do to me ? Go on, take a shot" he taunted, his curls standing atop his nose in a more patronizing way, as you could feel all eyes on you.
"Come on now," pause.
"Come on," another pause.
"Come ooon" in a blur, you swung at his jaw with precision you didnt know you had before you found yourself, arms pinned to your back and his voice right beside your ear despite the height difference. The crowed jeered as you felt yourself spiraling down your train of thoughts. The only outcome ? You definitely getting sent back to Willowdale by your uncle.
"My felicitations, to the jail for that" you couldnt even tell if he was boasting, just that he was too goddamn loud, as if he was announcing it.
"And what-" you struggled against his grip as it only tightened..
"-do you think you are, king ?" you pushed back against his makeshift restraints. For a pretty lanky looking guy, his grip could almost hold back a herd of elephants, if need be.
"Well, not exactly. Guess we havent met, have we ? I'm Wilbur, Prince Wilbur to put it shortly" he spat through gritted teeth before kicking the back of your knee, resulting in you falling to the ground, still baffled. It certainly would've been nice to know that he was not just a royal and that he was the prince of L'manberg. Well, in short, fuck.
I’d love to see more longer one shots like it if you enjoy writing them. 💞💞💞
awwww thank you, anon! as much as i love writing longer one shots, it takes so. much. time. my asks pile up as is, and I likely won’t write *too* many for that reason!
and yes, princebur <3 he’s slowly becoming a favorite on this blog!
