#prison tag

[stuntchica]

also, im kinda pissed at Them (the... not so bad Them not the pure evil Them. i really need to come up with a way to differentiate between them) bc i feel like Theyre trying to interfere with my life

Theyre doing it to ~~keep me safe~~ but honestly? They should know that i never asked for that. there are some things i want Them to kep me safe from but i can keep myself safe from my own fuckin brain thank you

listen, if youre reading this, send me all the fucking encouragement in the world, make me see things thatll make me feel like you love me / are supporting me but do not physically stop me from doing something. it is up to me to make that decision & you have no right to interfere that much i dont care who you are or what i did to you

[stuntchica]

update: they listened but the sign was about not blaming urself & looking towards the future i swear to god im going to punch whichever one of them sent this (i know exactly which one & i s2g i know i keep talking abt how much i love you but really i will punch ur face)

[stuntchica]

i feel like she’s laughing at me right now. she Knows that people will take her side over mine bc of course they would, all she needs to tell them is that im ~violent~ and ~dangerous~ & that what she did was for my own good & theyll listen to her, of course they will

never mind the fact i was never like that before she meddled in my life & tried to turn me into something that she could use. i never thought of hurting anyone before she made me

i know there are maybe 2 people who will believe me. she thinks she could convince them but i dont think she could. maybe 3 people actually... or 4? 5? the more i think about it, the better my odds are

but still, 5 people against the whole rest of the world? she’s already trying to spread the idea that she couldnt help what she did & people are already believing it!

& its really not fair at all. i want her to leave me alone & let me be with my friends properly again but i know she wont so... im not really sure what else to do?

if youre reading this, you two, i could do with a hint. i dont know what you need me to do. i promise ill pay attention. i promise ill try to work it out, just please...? at least send me a little reassurance

[stuntchica]

as a side note: the person im referring to as ‘god’ isnt actually god. i dont want to use her real name & she has all the power of a god so it seems fitting. idk if i believe in an actual all-powerful god, but if there is one i like to think that they understand why im using that name for her & wont hate me for it

[stuntchica]

i will punch god in the face

[stuntchica]

i wish jihyun was here. i dont know when or the context but he was really comforting to me. he always knew exactly what to say & do & he understood because she’d hurt him too