also I do wanna say I am black. it affects me. it has and always affects me everyday. for the rest of my life. I love caitvi and seeing this racism all day every day well I don’t know how I haven’t left social media altogether (even tho I do get the same treatment outside of it). genuinely all the hate, the subtle hateful or backhanded comments, it eats at u. i’m in a very bad spot with it all. it makes u hate urself and well the racists have won ig cuz I do. i hate myself very much. and the racists will never care. especially in this social climate rn. people can easily say “well I didn’t mean it”, but they still did it. and seeing people band together online with racists and ignoring it when for me this started out as a safe space… it hurts and not everybody can understand that.
I’m so sorry bruh! Really really. The rea life climate and then going online to this fuck ass fandom??? It’s even hard for me and I’m not even black. I can’t even imagine what it is for u.
I’ll talk about myself here cause I don’t wanna speak on experiences I have no idea about or how YOU should feel as a black person cause I have no business there.
As a latina I’m more aware of racism that Latinos receive which is not the same as black people do. We are born in a racist world so we have to actively unlearn all that. I “think” I have done a good job but I wouldn’t even say I’m done unlearning stuff.
Now if I did something racist like when I was gonna make gert vi gf in the AU, and people made me aware of the “disposable black gf” trope. I said immediately I was not aware of the trope and apologized. An “I didn’t mean it” does absolutely fuck ass nothing when you keep continuing with the same behavior.
This fandom is absolutely terrible at apologizing when making a mistake. And I can’t imagine how exhausting it is for u. Idk what has happened in the caitvi fandom with this, I have been only seen once again jv being racist this week and it feels like it’s a non ending thing.
Now, my dude (gender neutral) I say this with all the love in my heart.
If this is affecting your enjoyment and happiness in your “scape” time that should be fandom… you should start curating your experience. First thing is get out of Twitter cause that place does not let you curate your space anymore. So you would keep seeing the disgusting takes in there.
You need to put yourself first. Online spaces should not make you feel like you are feeling right now. You fight everyday if your life at all moments against racism and you shouldn’t be doing it on your relaxing time while you are enjoying your favorite things. I know it’s exhausting and demoralizing.
I’m just so sorry bruh. There is nothing else I can say than sorry.
