#probably not funny

[wyyv3rnn]

Non-spoilery bnd spoilers after cut (it doesn’t have to do with the plot but it is kinda vaguely abt the movie so)

I wanted lunch, and we had a bunch of taco stuff leftover from a few nights ago, so I just took the shredded chicken and some different beans and cheese and mixed it together and made chili

I told my brother and he said, “you made CHILI?” And then I realized.

Chili, just as the gods intended

anyways as I went to go get it from the microwave my brother shouted at me, “IM NOT EATIN IT!”

[mr-owen-burnett]

this connection hasn't been made before right

[thatboleyngirl77]

Why did the crow wear a face mask?

To prevent corvid 19.

Sorry, I'll show myself out

[was-the-grink-there]

My mental instability is a premium feature you get for being my friend

[steadfastmockingbird]

Took a photo of my wife earlier, while she was making cheesecake. And to get her to look at the camera I accidentally made a kissy noise, like I do when I want the cat's attention

She is unwilling to let me forget this

[doofus-and-dragons]

Here are some memes I made to commemorate me moving out on my own in 3 days

[volcanic-oreo]

The day I get fluffable hair and have a ponytail at the same time is the day I begin to exist

Just because I am eternal doesn't mean I've showed up to the party

[fungshoe]

Police officer: sir please take your coat off and empty your pockets.

Me: *takes off coat revealing kittens in little holsters*

Officer: *visible confusion*

Me: *pulls out smaller kittens from my pockets*

Officer: why do you have so many kittens?

Me: I think I misunderstood the phrase "drowning in pussy sir".