‼️TW: THIS IS A VENT and i will be talking about abuse/hinting at it in my art, so if you aren't up for that please skip this post‼️
If youd like to see the art, but dont wanna hear about the details, please skip the text between the red lines, below the image!
A WIP sneek peak will be located at the very bottom of this post!
_____________ safe ⬇️ _____________
Yesterday, I was supposed to apply for a job, but my Father had made the morning awful. We did not go to apply. Grateful, but also disappointed for that.
TLDR: My dad is starting to be a dick again. So i drew Osmosis Jones in my situation to help cope after what happened yesterday.
💜 shout out to my Mom 💜 She's a trooper for standing up for us, including me at my big age.
__________ not safe ⬇️ ___________
Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong for telling my Mom about something my Dad does when she's not here. It's just him being rough with things. He's just slamming items from time to time. I feel like I'm overreacting, that I'm just being a pussy.
But I'm scared of him to put it bluntly. He's done things that have proven to us that he can, and will get violent if he's angry enough. I can't look at him the same after what has happened before.
I've been on edge around him recently. Increasingly so. I can pinpoint every single mannerism that gives away his anger. Sometimes i feel crazy because of this, bc they're the tiniest details. But I've been around my Dad for long enough. I know him entirely too well when it comes to his volatility. He was my one and only friend, and enabler, when my Mother was away for a few years. Of course I do.
I'm just scared that he's going to completely snap one day. Like he's going to kill someone. He has that look to him when he's angry. And that terrifies me. I don't know how to describe it.
I'm scared that my snitching will get Mom hurt again bc of it. That one day it would be MY FAULT that Mom gets seriously injured, or wont be around to protect us anymore.
Of course, we've been trying to take the steps towards our justice, and freedom from his angry claws. We are looking towards moving elsewhere when we get the money, just my two Mothers, me, and my siblings. That and taking videos of Dad's outbursts, though it is really hard to catch them, as they're super sudden, and spontaneous.
I feel bad for distancing myself from him, especially when he's done the right things before, and has been trying to go to therapy. But again, I can't see him the same. I really can't. Not when it's still happening. Maybe when the storm has blown over. Maybe.
_____________ safe ⬇️ _____________
This post is NOT meant to sympathy farm. I just wanted to tell my story and give an explanation to the reason I felt the need to make the art piece. Maybe I am getting too comfortable, or oversharing, but I like talking about myself. And if someone finds comfort in my work, then I am happy. I just want to be seen and understood.
If you got this far without cringing, congratudolences 👏🎉
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Here is the WIP im cooking up for compensation
(yes it is another meme im drawing over #ilovepolyamorouscouples!!!!)
🩵💙
- AL
