[This document is the full transcript of a series of short educational videos on sexual intercourse with non-humans. It was produced by the Systems Alliance Navy in 2163, in association with the Salarian Union. The host of the program, Doctor S., M.D., was a young salarian doctor who had actually volunteered for the opportunity. When asked for his reasons, his reply was, "No interest in recreational sexual activity myself - but eager to share knowledge. Benefits obvious : debunking of common falsehoods, improvement of interpersonal relationships, furthering mutual understanding across the galaxy with successful stress relief. Also less STDs. Education conducive to better choices — less discharge to clean up."]
Now also available on AO3 !!!
[Title card. Somewhat bombastic music and an old-timey font suggest that, for some reason, the director decided to shoot this as an homage to 1950s infomercials from the defunct USA on Earth. The language throughout this version is the UNAS dialect of English human, which Dr. S. had learned for the purpose of making this series.]
[Other versions in different Alliance languages - Mandarin, Spanish, Portuguese, Urdu, Hindi, Swahili, Polish, etc - were edited and released simultaneously. Dr. S. was ready to shoot again in many of these languages, but the Alliance chose not to in order to keep expenses at a minimum.]
PROBING URANUS : The Intrepid Space Explorer's Guide to Safe and Satisfying Sex with Alien Species
[Dr. S., a chirpy young salarian with brownish skin, is reading a leatherbound book titled Overpopulation and its Impact on the Environment. He pretends to notice the camera and puts the book down. He is wearing a bow tie.]
Hello there ! If you are watching this, then interested in learning about optimal forms of sexual activity with non-humans. Commendable ! Humans newcomers to galactic society — no prior experience of interactions with distinct sapient species — but soldiers especially likely to seek sexual intercourse with other species as stress relief. Technology, species and cultural norms still mysterious to you — exciting !
As a doctor, can give you general recommendations, bridge knowledge gap. Will advise you chiefly on medical matters, but will also provide expertise beyond anatomical and physiological. No replacement for individual guidance, however ! Contact licensed xenophysician for session tailored to personal needs — list of organizations and bibliography available on omni-tool.
[An alien sigil, the equivalent of a QR code, appears in the bottom right-hand corner of the screen. It will remain there for most of the video.]
Be careful, however : different species mean different assumptions as to what is "normal" or "implicit". Research cannot be exhaustive enough — as salarian, bound to make mistakes about humans despite efforts and best intentions — must preemptively apologize.
Example : will use words like "woman", "man", "female" and "male" throughout educational series. Understand that use of terms complex and nuanced in human cultures — will only use them as shorthand, and shorthand necessarily approximate.
Here, biological sexes used as : categories defined by differentiated traits related to reproduction and their emergence, such as genitalia and secondary sex characteristics, gonads, chromosomes, hormone levels, etc. "Sexes" necessarily the description of averages in groups which, while distinct, exhibit considerable in-group variation and out-group overlapping of traits — a spectrum — hence existence of intersex individuals. As with many sapient species, humans gonochoric — require two discrete and complementary reproductive systems to successfully combine gametes and produce new individuals. Reproductive systems usually termed in human scientific literature either "female" or "male" — in humans, will use terms for reproductive system types that retain or transfer gametes, respectively, irrespective of gender.
Descriptive bimodal terminology for human sexes suggestive of non-existent biological binary — seemingly reflection of gender, i.e. part of identity initially based on sexual traits, reproductive ability, and associated social and cultural expectations. In other words, binary cultural norms inform scientific description of the universe. Understand humans have many genders depending on cultures, much like salarians — "woman" and "man", if used, will be used strictly as gender descriptives.
Please refer to on-screen menu to select topic of interest !
PART 1 : Introduction
In this part, will provide overview of different topics of interest to create common basis for discussion and learning. Cannot teach you if you don't know vocabulary !
Chapter 1 about common definitions of "sexualities" in interspecies context and common prejudices — in short, social dimension !
Chapter 2 reminder about basics of consent, enthusiasm, and communication. Different kind of explicit, and also stress-relieving.
Chapter 3 about safe sexual practices in cross-species intercourse. Will contain pictures !
Chapter 4 primer on sexual anatomy and biology of cross-species sexual activity.
Chapter 5 about "D.I.Y." exploration of sexual partner's desires and privileged erogenous zones in intercourse context. Practical !
Chapter 6 about frequent relationship models prevalent in interstellar "dating scene". Again, communication is key !
Advise you watch everything, but selection at your discretion !
PART 1 : Chapter 1 : Sexualities, Desire and Prejudice
Aware that many humans define sexualities in terms of identity or activity — galactic community however has different definition — necessary to understand to avoid confusion in future exchanges.
Simply, galactic community categorizes sexualities in terms of desire, regardless of activity or previously documented instances of sexual attraction arranged in a coherent system. Pros of model : fluid, not so prone to labels, doesn't overstress what one "should" or "shouldn't" be feeling. Cons of model : easier for prejudiced individuals to rhetorically insist some sexual desires non-essential, can and should be repressed.
Modern syncretic sexuality categories broadly concerned with cross-species sexuality. Major categories include :
asexuality, defined as lack of sexual attraction overall. Distinct from asexual form of reproduction. Also distinct from sexual abstinence, i.e. practice of not engaging in sexual intercourse.
ecosexualities, defined as exclusive sexual attraction to conspecifics — that is, members of own species. After first contact, most species reflexively enter conservative econormative phase — cross-species liaisons heavily discouraged, shameful.
demisexualities, defined as sexual attraction to at least some categories of individuals on the basis of strong interpersonal emotional bonds, regardless of species. An individual may develop secondary sexual attraction to well-known and well-loved persons without developing primary sexual attraction to similar individuals. Example : future alien friends may realize they have become attracted to you, but not to other humans. Conversely, no development of secondary sexual attraction not indicative of "shallow" emotional relationship.
isosexualities, defined as sexual attraction to specific sets of people both in one's own species and in other species. If human, then may be attracted to female human and asari — or to all humans and turians — or to some humans, krogan, hanar, and female turians.
pansexuality, defined as sexual attraction to individuals where species and gender not factors of sexual attraction.
xenophilia, defined as exclusive sexual attraction to non-conspecifics — that is, excluding only members of one's own species.
Spectrum of xenophilia different from cross-species liaisons, i.e. any sexual relationship where at least two of the participants are from different species. Cross-species liaisons type of sexual intercourse — sexuality motivation for intercourse : for instance, species-directed sexual attraction can be entirely irrelevant if individual develops sexual attraction to person they are in love with (demisexualities).
Specific number of hurdles to cross-species liaisons : mutually unsatisfying sexual stimulation at best, physical danger at worst. For the latter : please see Chapters 2 and 3. For the former : please see Chapters 4 and 5.
Sex like medicine : goal is for all people seeking it out to feel better after and not suffer harm. Should be only concerns in sexual activity — unfortunately, high possibility that people you will be attracted to or who you respect will think some types of sexual attraction or sexual behaviors intrinsically wrong. As humans newcomers to galactic society, high possibility you, as person watching series of educational videos on safe and satisfying sex with non-humans, will fall victim to bigoted commentary, actions, judgement — perhaps already have. Must be aware of three things :
who is likely to hate you, so that you can stay safe. Batarians from Batarian Hegemony usually consider all non-batarians their biological inferiors — racist society will influence any attraction individuals may feel toward you ; turians may feel that consorting with recent enemies of Hierarchy unpatriotic ; many possible examples, with no strict rules based on species.
how you can create and expand safe conditions for you to express authentic feelings. Hiding yourself - internalizing shame - and being unable to sincerely voice thoughts and emotions to social peer without fear of judgement overwhelmingly likely to cause lasting psychological and physiological harm. You must work for freedom of wellbeing — yours and others'.
which prejudices you might have internalized, and how to discard them. Do not assume everything you believe is right ! Check everything ! Consider alternative viewpoints ! How can you prevent harm ? Would you be able to recognize you are not being harmed but causing harm ?
Keep in mind in the meantime : desire unfair, love unfair — or so I'm told. No rule or reason for target of attraction — no "deserts" for who arouses or fails to arouse you — no correlation with attraction and who you are. No choosing who one is attracted to, so no reason for guilt — things you control only things one should feel guilty about, things you do. Above all, do no harm to anyone.
This includes yourself.
Seamlessly leading us into next topic of discussion : paraphilias, or sexual attraction to beings or things unable to understand or reciprocate sexual attraction, such as : rocks ; autotrophs ; non-sapient animals ; sub-adults ; corpses ; and computers.
Last case particularly important — commonly but confusingly known as robosexuality, or attraction to virtual intelligences (VIs). Somewhat prevalent, and perhaps inevitable : VIs computer programs supposed to present credible illusion of intelligence and personhood to users, so confusing VI for person arguably the point — Citadel legislation actually forces programmers to make VIs distinctively artificial in speech, appearance or mannerisms to decrease chances of VI imprinting and enamorment — dramatic decrease in cases of people suing Council and each other for opposition to marrying Avina since edict enacted. However, plenty of VI emulations of personalities and historical figures, many of them illegal — possibility of falling in love and engaging in sex with non-sapient programs still possible.
Robosexuality usually considered most benign parasexuality, as not some kind of rape but delusional masturbation practices. Slight controversy over use, however : historically, used incorrectly as slur by individuals and groups opposed to romantic and sexual relationships with true AIs — heavily influenced by siarist beliefs that anything asari cannot reproduce with not meaningfully alive. Synthetic rights advocacy groups argue for discontinuing use of "robosexuality", preferring "robophilia" for the VI-related paraphilia and proposing to consider AIs like organic sapient species, subject to sexual attraction types described above. For their part, some fringe transcendency cultists center worship and behavior on, quote, "becoming the squirming fucktoys of our eventual eldritch Singularity overlords," unquote. As all AIs but geth extinct at present, and geth infamously uninterested in sexual congress despite best efforts of peace-through-fucks activists, debate entirely academic.
PART 1 : Chapter 2 : Consent, Enthusiasm and Communication
Sexual activity must happen with the mutual consent of all parties involved at any given time. There is no situation where you are entitled to have sex with anyone, and no one is entitled to have sex with you.
Consent dependent on ability to freely withhold it at any point. If in situation when consent cannot be withheld, then sexual activity can only be subjected on person — rape.
Sexual consent defined by several criteria :
Is sexual partner able to intellectually assess full ramifications of sexual experience ? If sexual activity perpetrated on person whose decision-making abilities are hindered by intoxicating compounds (alcohol, recreational drugs, medicine, etc), or on still developing sub-adult, or on unconscious person, etc, then those are forms of rape — because individuals unable to make informed consent.
Does sexual partner feel free to refuse part of or entirety of sexual experience ? If sexual activity obtained through violence, threat of violence, or various kinds of pressure (e.g. unequal power dynamic), then consent impossible. If person feels unable to resist sexual activity, feels that sexual activity is inevitable, then you are not a sexual partner, but engaging in rape.
Can sexual partner actually communicate consent or withholding thereof ? Cannot if unconscious — cannot if been denied every form of communication (accommodations to have some manner of communication are made in safe forms of "kink play", e.g. BDSM. Unsure as to what acronym stand for, but attentiveness to consent and communication essential to such practices. Might write paper on topic). Likewise, if form of sexual activity deceptively imposed, then ability to communicate consent or withhold consent has been denied.
Moreover :
Explicit consent to sexual intercourse or discrete sexual activities does not entail automatic consent to continued sexual intercourse or different sexual activities. People can change their minds ! People may feel very enthusiastic about some things but not others ! Therefore, never assume that consent is a given.
In light of everything that has been said, it is your responsibility to check whether person with whom you desire sexual intercourse, or who has expressed desire for sexual intercourse, or with whom you are currently engaged in sexual intercourse, would consent to proposed activity. First consider checklist above — and if still in doubt, ask ! Sex should, by all accounts, be fun — do not gamble with the possibility of hurting other.
Finally, be sure to be treated as you should treat others. Do not compromise on it.
As a result, consent can only be freely given, continuous, informed, specific, and explicit.
Generally considered in galaxy that consent sole basis to determine what constitutes legal sexual activity and what constitutes rape. However, pan-species cultural hegemony on sexual activities predicated on belief that freely given and freely received sexual activity characterized by enthusiasm. Sex worker possibly not enthusiastic about their job, but not being raped — but casual or committed sexual partners entitled to more than simply contractually agreeing to sex acts. Ideal sex not alternation of fantasy realizations with dull, disgusting or degrading acts performed for partners' sakes : according to Xenoanthropological Society of Sur'Kesh, sex supposed not to be a chore but anticipated activity ; according to siari, sex supposed to be a connection. Sex not something done to someone else — sex done with someone else, together.
Enthusiasm in sex defined as mutual, eager, and joyful engagement in every sex act — free sexual activity understood as distinct from a contractual relationship. In practice :
no negotiation on sex acts : no agreeing, for instance, to oral sex to get out of prospect of anal sex — if you do not want to have either oral or anal sex, don't — you deserve better.
no bargaining on sex acts : no agreeing, for instance, to sex act performed on partner unpleasant for self in exchange of sex act performed on self but partner reluctant — sex not reciprocal exchange of pleasant acts tallied at end of intercourse — literature stresses that sex supposed to be willing and fun.
no duty to explain reluctance or disgust : if you don't want to do such and such, that is more than enough : that is the whole point.
Vital therefore to stress importance of communication again. You must freely and unequivocally express your desires or lack of desires in sexual situation — and you must communicate to partner or partners expectation they can and must do the same. Likewise, best if partner asks and checks with you if specific sexual acts desirable and desired, and that you do the same. Best policy to make this routine with new sexual partners, or to create safe and enjoyable intimate environment with regular sexual partners — but necessary with partners of different species, different cultures. You do not know how aliens "do it" — remember as well that aliens may not know how humans like their sex and come with their own assumptions.
But consider : sometimes, physically difficult to communicate during sex. If engaged in strenuous physical activity, may struggle to speak coherently, or translator may struggle to pick up what is being said — to avoid having to slow down a good thing in order to be ethical, best to agree on set of simple visual signs to signify "stop" or "I'm OK".
Sexy Spacer's Sign common solution in cross-species liasons — adaptation of universal sign language designed for silent communication during EVAs outside of starship by and for all spacers regardless of species — most individuals using it deeply satisfied and believe it to be conducive to deeply enjoyable sexual situations. Pros : extended vocabulary for many sexual situations, from simple semantic constructions - "Keep going", "Harder", "Stop", "Slow down" - to modifiers - "just a little more", " a lot", "now", etc - to more complex requests - for instance, "Penetrate my cloaca with your aedeagus" (in practice, "AEDEAGUS"/"PENETRATION"/"CLOACA"/[injunctive]) — not necessary to establish protocols of communication for extended time before actual sexual intercourse beyond asking "Do you know Sexy Spacer's Sign ?" Cons : dependent on partner knowing Sexy Spacer's Sign. Many free asari-made learning courses on the extranet, high-quality — apps with simulstim options more enticing (see Chapter 5), but often of lesser quality.
I will update regularly. As low as once a week, perhaps faster depending on engagement.
