Please Read This
This has been a hard decision to make, one I’ve been debating with for a good while now, but I’ve decided I think it’s best for me to take a break from this blog. I never thought it would gain the traction that it did and I don’t feel comfortable running it at the moment, I’m sorry.
There are multiple reasons but a large one being I’m just not educated enough. There are many areas where I am still ignorant and I think I have a bit of an issue with talking over people, a bad habit I really need to break. I feel like stepping back will give me more time to learn and expand my horizons and less time to speak on topics I don’t actually know much about. I’m not trying to run away from anything, if you have issues with any of the things I say or do (because I am privileged in certain aspects) please don’t feel afraid to bring them up!
I know I’ve answered questions on things like racism, colorism, cultural appropriation, etc. when in retrospect it really wasn’t my place to do so and I want to say I’m really, sincerely sorry about that. I always try to reblog posts made by the people who are affected and include links in my responses but I haven’t been so good at keeping my mouth shut when it doesn’t involve me, which is something I am going to change in myself.
Another thing is my mental health. As much as I have enjoyed running this blog, there are lots of aspects of it which have purely been a source of anxiety and distress for me. I suffer from lots of different mental health problems (I don’t want to go too into detail but I have ADHD and also struggle with BPD, bipolar + other issues) and this blog really does not help. My anxiety and paranoia are bad enough as it is but they shoot up every time I post on here, leaving me feeling sick when I can’t check my inbox (or when I have lots of messages) and paranoid that everybody hates me/this blog. It also means I respond to criticism poorly.
I’m ironically bad at dealing with conflict, which might make some people question why I started this blog (it was actually an accident, long story), but I’ve tried not to let it affect my running of this blog. That obviously didn’t work too well. I'm glad that people find this blog useful and I’m glad some of the posts have helped raise awareness and educate people about the offensive things idols do, but this blog requires a lot of time and energy and knowledge that I just don’t have.
I’m also scared of spreading misinformation and making mistakes (both of which are things I have done), and I don’t like the idea of people feeling too intimidated to call me out when I mess up. It’s quite a big responsibility looking after this blog and I’m not sure my wellbeing can take that on top of my workload and personal problems. Again I apologise for any of the harm I have caused with this blog, it was definitely unintentional, but that’s no excuse.
I’m going to leave this blog up so people can still refer to some of the posts and look through the tags. My hiatus is indefinite, but it’s unlikely I’ll be running it again any time soon. Thank you everybody for everything! A lot of my followers have been a huge help and I’ve learned a lot myself. I encourage everybody to keep general discussion going, but for now, I’m stepping out. Goodbye!
