Yes you read right. This is going to be a blog about WORD. Special idea, isn’t it?
First of all, I need to clarify some things about me first. Whenever I do feel depressed and/or bored, I like to open word and just write down what is going on in my head. Yeah.. that actually does sound a little crazy, doesn’t it? Judge me how you want, but this is the only way I can really find peace. These ‘manuscripts’, which I have written are never ever going public of course, just because of the fact that, firstly, they are written by me and only for me and therefore it’s none of anyone’s business what I write in these, and secondly, because they don’t make a whole lot of sense to a person who doesn’t know me properly enough. And apart from that most of the time they’re just a battleground of words in chaos, which don’t make any sense to anyone else but me. And sometimes even I can’t decipher these texts when I reread them some weeks later.
However, this act of basically writing everything down that goes on in my head is my way of letting off steam and frustration. Some people go to their best friends and some people just bottle it up inside themselves (which is NOT the way you want to go, believe me!). Going to my best friends and talk about it is also something that I like to do, but sometimes you don’t even fully understand your problem yourself, so how are you supposed to explain your problem to a good friend? And how is he able to listen and comfort you if he/she doesn’t even understand what’s going on? I’m not trying to say that going to a friend and talk about your problems with him is not a good thing because that would be a huge lie. I have some people that I really consider my best friends and I am so thankful that I can count on them any minute and day of the week. But sometimes if I face a crisis in my life, I’d rather try to handle it myself. Of course I let my friends know that I am physically not feeling right at the moment, but often I have a hard time explaining it reasonably to them so they can understand. When you have a big problem in your life, and I am not talking about a problem of short duration like a breakup, but about a problem that really affects you in a long part of your life like, for example, an anxiety disorder, you will find it very difficult to explain it to a friend of yours, so he/she really comprehends 100%.
As I said, I for myself like to just open word and start to write. I try to find a solution for my problem by sort of explaining it to an imaginary person. I think everybody knows that feeling, when you are really upset about something but you can’t really translate your anger or frustration into words, expressions and explanations. Opening word and write about my problem helps to actually get to know it. The problem is my enemy and to defeat my enemy I need to KNOW my enemy. How do you want to fight a problem if you don’t even know WHAT exact problem you are fighting? I think about it and I write down my thoughts and this really helps me to make real sense of my problem.
But you know, in the end everybody needs to fight their own problems in their own way. My way is thinking and writing and I can only recommend it to you. I don’t know whether or not it will help you, but it certainly won’t make things worse and it’s certainly better than bottling it up until you slowly destroy yourself from the inside. I assure you, you will get to know your own self better than ever before. And if you feel embarrassed because you are actually writing ‘to yourself’ for ‘no reason’ or you just think to yourself that you are a horrible writer, remember: No one is ever going to see your written thoughts and emotions anyways and you are free to think and write about anything you want. It doesn't even have to be word. A diary does basically the same job, I just prefer Word. And if you already write down your thoughts and emotions in any way: Well, even better for you! And if not: Give it a try! :) ~N