Feb 11
It literally might have taken me 5 years to finally get my room somewhat in order and there are still a couple of stuff I got to do but hey, progress!
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from Ukraine
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from China
It literally might have taken me 5 years to finally get my room somewhat in order and there are still a couple of stuff I got to do but hey, progress!
I can stand with my walker but I still can't walk
Currently working on creating some unique noun and verb conjugations for Sul'voth. Can fully feel my brain both rotting and yet expanding this deep into the linguistics studies.
So many options, so many ways to speak the arcane.
⛧ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ 10: ʀᴏᴜɢʜ ⛧
And so, I continue to work on my rough animations this week. Here are some of the scenes somewhat completed over the course of the week. Unfortunately, the perfectionist side in me is disappointed in the scenes produced; doesn’t mean we won’t keep trying though and at least it’s progress;; It’s just a rough, Andrea... chill.
Shit posting/reblogging is easy.
The dichotomy of being honest with those that care about me and not wanting to bother anyone is hard.
So here it goes; It sucks how one day can be great with being able to have a breakthrough in therapy and the next day I'm back in the shit with my mom.
I'm on call, watching Artemis II land, sitting in discord with friends, and resisting the urge to respond snarkly to my mother. What could be a fun night(despite call) tainted by her shit.
I didn't read the results of her MRI fast enough and now I don't care about her-obviously. I guess I do have to give my myself credit for not dumping why my bandwidth is limited and she's not in the budget. Instead I told her I'm not doing this tonight and she can reach out another time.
Aside from work taking on sicker and sicker patients and the imposter syndrome that comes along with it I got my genetic testing back at my yearly GYN.
33% lifetime chance of breast cancer. At the age of 40 I'll have a mammogram and breast MRI yearly each 6 months apart until I'm 80 or get cancer.
Getting news like that I feel like I should be able to talk to my mother, who's actually had breast cancer, but instead I'm scared of her finding out because she'll make it about her.
Even now, if I told her to explain why I haven't felt like talking to her(saying it in a nicer way), what's that compared to the shoulder pain she's had for months?
But I keep reminding myself that I have a great chosen family. I know at any point I could tell any one of them and they would be there for me. Oddly, that news hasn't been shared not because I'm anxious about telling people. It's because they're nearly all male and it feels a little weird to randomly bring up that my boobs might betray me one day. Plus I still have 11 years and things rapidly change in medicine. 33% is a big number today, but in a decade it may be smaller or even preventable.
Ta da. Feelings!
Tonight is a kinda shit night, but I know thanks to my friends it'll be better. Also going to try and post positive things here because in 10-years I don't want to only read about the bad times.
I wrote like 300 words for chapter 24 and I was gonna write more but now I can’t stop thinking about Soma so I’ll continue tomorrow.
turns out my obsession with vulnerability and mythological/biblical figures who are punished for looking back and also my niggling need to become a maker are all connect and this feels like something of a breakthrough but i’m not sure how yet !