I hate how much I hate my life...
I have to go out of town on Wednesday for another fucking doctor's appointment... I genuinely don't know how I'm going to do this, I'm so fucking tired... I don't know how I'm supposed to keep doing this!! I'm losing more and more function each day!! I'm genuinely so fucking scared about what comes next...
I'm torn between trying to count the precious moments I still have left, and morbidly watching the dominoes fall like a trainwreck you can't look away from as my chronic illness causes me to continue to progressively functionally decline and deteriorate, moving towards the end stage... And towards the end...
I feel like I'm having an existential crisis... Fuck I need to pray but I can't even think straight rn... Idk what to do anymore...