Having tried and failed with two types of hormone treatment there was only one option left - the one I was adamant I would not try - prostap - a drug known that treat males with prostrate cancer and females, like me, with endo. I was given 7 days to decide whether or not I wanted to go ahead. The list of side effects was excessive and the effects of the injection shutting down ones ovaries can last for months/years. Prostap is a long term commitment which you are not in control of - once it's in your system it's staying there - you can't stop taking it like you can a pill. I was also advised there was a minimal chance that a legitimate menopause could be triggered and because I am yet to have children I needed to consider the risks accordingly. I struggled to digest the information given to me and did not want to confide in anyone. I was living in more pain than before my operations and was struggling to mentally digest so much happening in such a short space of time. I went away to Edinburgh with a friend for a night during the week I had to decide - still suffering with an infection, overusing pain killers to try and manage the pain and unwilling to tell anyone how bad the situation was. I didn't sleep at all - a normal occurance at this time - something I put down to the pain at the time but looking back now I can see it was also down to anxiety. I wasn't in control of my future anymore, I was hiding the fact I was going through hell and was scared but tried to live a lie and convince myself and everyone else I was handling it well.