🔪 Fluffy August Preferences: “Kill of the Night” (five hargreeves x fem!reader)
FLUFF❣️ + slight SMUT❤️🔥 FLUFFY AUGUST🖇️
Masterlist☀️
🎶 Inspired by “Kill of the Night” – Gin Wigmore
Trope: Partners in Crime, Vigilante Romance, Dangerous Flirtation
Fandom: The Umbrella Academy
📝 Word Count: ~3,050 words
Summary: In which being with Five means running headfirst into danger and somehow coming out laughing — and maybe with blood on your hands.
BONUS DRABBLES FOR EACH - CHECK MASTERLIST
1. How Five would react if someone threatened you
Five never wastes words when he’s angry — he just tilts his head like he’s deciding how to dismantle the person in front of him, piece by piece. The moment someone so much as breathes a threat in your direction, there’s a shift in his body language — sharp, still, predatory.
You’d try to step in, to de-escalate.
He’d just glance at you and say, “Close your eyes for a minute, sweetheart.”
By the time you open them, the threat is gone — literally. The air feels heavier, the room quieter, and he’s back at your side, brushing imaginary dust off your shoulder.
“Let’s go,” he says. “I hate wasting time.”
⸻
2. How Five would act on a mission with you
He’s precise, methodical… until you’re involved. Then, it’s like his plans adapt in real time to your chaos. You leap over a bar counter to escape gunfire, he’s there in an instant, teleporting beside you with a muttered, “Reckless maniac,” even though you catch the edge of a grin.
You cover each other’s blind spots like it’s muscle memory. Your adrenaline is high, your banter sharper than the blades you both carry.
“Did you have to set that on fire?” he shouts over the noise.
“Yes!”
“God, I love you,” he mutters — like he doesn’t even realize he said it.
⸻
3. How Five would flirt during danger
Some people flirt over drinks. Five flirts over chaos.
Bullets are flying, enemies are shouting, and he leans toward you, voice low enough to curl heat into your stomach:
“If we make it out of here alive, I’m kissing you like you just saved the world.”
You grin mid-fight. “What if I don’t make it?”
He catches your wrist, spins you out of harm’s way. “Then I’m kissing you now.”
⸻
4. How Five would protect you without admitting it
Five isn’t the type to say “be careful”. He just quietly changes the variables so you don’t get hurt. You’ll notice the way he teleports slightly ahead of you every time you turn a blind corner. Or how he insists on walking on the side closest to the road.
When you confront him about it, he scoffs.
“You think I’m protecting you? No, I just know you’re accident-prone and I’d rather not scrape you off the pavement.”
But you’ve seen the way he looks at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention. It’s not annoyance. It’s relief.
⸻
5. How Five would act after a close call
He’s furious. Not at you — but at himself for letting the situation get that far.
You’d be sitting on the edge of some grimy safehouse bed, adrenaline fading into exhaustion, and he’d drop to his knees in front of you, checking for injuries. His hands aren’t gentle — they’re desperate.
“Next time, I’m not letting you leave my sight,” he growls.
“That’s a little possessive,” you tease, trying to lighten the air.
He doesn’t smile. “It’s survival.”
⸻
6. How Five would handle your enemies
Swiftly. Permanently. No questions asked.
If someone crosses you, they’ve crossed him — and Five’s list of grudges is long and merciless. You might never know the details, but you’ll notice the way those people stop showing up in your life.
When you catch him once, wiping blood from his hands, he just says, “Don’t ask. You’ll sleep better.”
But later, when you’re curled in bed, he tucks a blanket tighter around you and kisses the top of your head.
“You’re safe now,” he whispers, like a vow.
⸻
7. How Five would calm you after the chaos
Adrenaline makes your hands shake. Five notices immediately — you don’t even have to tell him. He’ll drag you into a quiet corner, press a coffee into your hands (even if he had to steal it), and stand in front of you, blocking the world out.
“You’re alright,” he says, voice firm.
“I don’t feel alright,” you admit.
“That’s okay. I’ll hold it together for both of us.”
And he does. Every damn time.
⸻
8. How Five would react if you got hurt
He goes silent — which is somehow worse than shouting. You’ve never seen someone look so cold and so on fire at the same time. He deals with the threat first — fast, brutal, efficient — then he’s kneeling beside you, teleporting you somewhere safe before you can argue.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” he says, voice breaking on the last word. His forehead rests against yours, and you can feel how badly he’s shaking.
“Five…”
“I mean it. You’re all I’ve got.”
⸻
9. How Five would act in victory
When a mission goes flawlessly (or as close as possible), his mood shifts. He’s smug, sharper with his wit, and maybe even a little reckless himself. You catch him stealing glances at you like he’s memorizing the sight of you alive and whole.
Back at whatever passes for “home,” he’ll pour you a drink and sit close enough that your knees touch.
“See? I told you we’d make it.”
You roll your eyes. “Barely.”
He smirks. “Barely still counts.”
⸻
10. How Five would confess (in his own way)
Five doesn’t do grand speeches. His version of a confession is quieter, more deliberate. You’d be patching him up after a fight, and he’d catch your hand mid-motion.
“You know you’re stuck with me, right?” he says.
You laugh. “Is that a threat or a promise?”
“A promise. And maybe a threat, depending on how you look at it.”
⸻
By the time you finish cleaning him up, he pulls you into his lap, arms wrapped tight around you.
“Partners in crime,” you murmur.
“Always,” he replies. And you know he means it.
