the public and unprovoked murder of iryna zaruska, a ukrainian refugee has made my heart so, so sad these last few weeks. i can't stop thinking about her. i watched the leaked video of the incident and it haunts me. the brutality, the shock and sadness apparent on her face immediately after, how nobody helped her, and how she faded so quickly.
the motive is still being debated, though it seems likely that it was the racially motivated act of a very mentally ill man who had a long history of breaking the law. we can debate about how people like this slip through the cracks of the justice system all day. this is also reminiscent to me of debrina kawam, the lady set on fire seemingly at random by a man while sleeping on the subway in NYC in 2024.
the takeaway from this to me, is to never let your guard down in public, especially as a woman. people have called me excessive and paranoid for how i remain alert in public, especially on public transit when i take it.
i don't dare sleep. i never sit in a seat where people can be seated or standing behind me; the seat has to be up against a wall or window. i need to see exits, and i need to see who is approaching me from all directions. otherwise, i stand with my back to a wall or window. i don't allow people to stand behind me if i can help it. if i'm in a packed bus or metro, i try not to stand near any men. i live in a city where there's lots of mentally ill, houseless people who circulate the public transit system and i do NOT make the assumption that they are harmless.
you will rarely if ever hear of women committing these senseless acts of violence against men. overwhelmingly, it is men preying on and murdering innocent women for seemingly no reason at all other than hatred. they just want to see us suffer and fucking die.
as a woman, some level of paranoia and vigilance, especially in crowds where you cannot predict human behavior with any degree of accuracy, is the difference between life and death. relax when you get home, and trust nobody around you.