i really appreciate you laying out what a flashback is like for you. I feel less alone now. less like I'm somehow faking any of what I've been going through. thank you
I'm glad. It's so hard to see yourself in the distortions that are set by someone else's point of view, you know?
I just. It's been almost a decade and I'm still knocking my face into my palm and muttering "Oh for fuck's sake. That's what they meant." I have, again, a PhD in animal behavior. And still I'm probing at the boundaries of my own scar tissue and trying to see if the shape of my ragged mind might mirror this phenomenon or that. I'm trying to trail and understand the beast glatistant of the mind from the descriptions: head of a snake, body of a leopard, haunches of a lion, and feet of a hart.
By the way, spoiler, I don't experience dissociation as like, physically floating on top of my body either. I can see how someone could metaphorically describe it that way but I'm just out here going "I feel really disconnected from my body and my senses and it takes active effort to move my body or respond to stimuli." Reality isn't distorting, my perception is warping, and that's extremely clear to me the entire time.
