#pt i

[rosefuckinggenius]

My sweet dream 💚✨

[cosmicstarshineart]

Graveyard of Unfinished Projects, Pt I

@anti-workshop asked me to do a deep dive on my Graveyard of Unfinished Projects, and i’m always thrilled to talk about my art!

i got this little cart (with working wheels!!) at target for $5. i am forever finding the most amazing little doll accessories from their discount bins at the front of the store. i’ve also got some fake greenery tiles for photoshoots, a cute bike (although that came from michael’s, i think), and an adorable little orange wheelbarrow. once the projects on it are finished, it will become a doll-sized tea tray.

first up: witch cubone! he had a bone club but it was really thin and it broke at some point. this is from an stl i found on thingiverse.

baby dragon eggs! I recently made an egg and a baby dragon for a coworker who is having a baby soon. i painted the egg iridescent pale pink and glued a deep pink heart jewel just above the clasp, and painted the dragon iridescent purple (purple is her favorite color). of course i forgot to take pictures before i gave it to her. >_< it was super cute though. stls from thingiverse.

tiny snail dragon with wings! i have a few different versions of these tiny dragons, the stls were made by the same person who made the eggs.

skeletal dragon, snail dragon with and without wings, regular dragon, sea dragon. i have a couple versions of each. here’s how they look on and off the sprue. they’re actually jointed and they’re held together by stringing with tiny hair elastics. i use the clear ones meant for braiding. the wings are strung separately from the rest of the body and let me tell you what a bitch it is to get the damn elastic threaded through the tiny holes. i need some really fine gauge jewelry wire to be able to string them without difficulty.

part of a tea set! these are roughly 1:4, or Mini Super Dollfie (MSD) scale. there’s more pieces in this collection, including a lid for the teapot, that i haven’t gotten around to printing yet. files from thingiverse.

sandshrew!

beacon the prussian blue (NOT navy blue) three-tailed kitsune, my fursona. she leads those who are lost out of the darkness by the light of her lantern. i customized and bought this stl from heroforge. their options for anthropomorphic characters have really expanded, and i’m here for it!

doll shoe bases. wedge heel on the left, platform heel on the right. i bought the files from moonlightjewel, they’re designed in monster high scale but 3D printing files are scalable so i scaled them up a bit for my MSD. haven’t decided what to do with them yet. i have plans for a retrofuture alien girl at some point maybe they’ll come in handy for that.

possum cowboys, aka the sheriff and her deputy! this was one of the first things i ever 3D printed. i believe the files for this came from thingiverse.

the PRIDE and JOY of the Unfinished Projects Graveyard; the only object in this post that i 3D sculpted myself. it was sculpted in nomad sculpt for the ipad, using a tutorial by erika casab of little robot studio. it was SO HARD but i didn’t even cry once. i’m still inordinately proud of it, but it is so freaking difficult to photograph!

tumblr only allows 30 images per post, so look out for pt 2!

[apptowonder]

Beautiful City -- A Theological Ramble on “Godspell”-- Pt. I: Jesus Musicals and Christology

So I had a lot of thoughts and F e e l i n g s about the 2011 revival of Tebelak and Schwartz’s musical Godspell and I wanted to share some of them here. This is gonna be a pretty disorganized piece (hence the title), but I hope that whether you’re a fan of the show or a reader of my work, you might find at least one thing that resonates or helps you understand why I feel the way I do about this show. To give my thoughts some structure, I’m turning this into a blog post series. This first piece will be divided into two sections: a longer section on theology and a shorter section on personal response.

1. Godspell vs JCS, and a Brief Diversion on Christologies

So one easy hot take is to compare and contrast Godspell with Jesus Christ Superstar, the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical that came out around the same time. Conservative Christians at the time were not too fond of either of them, but both found a strong audience among secular theater-goers and (presumably) progressive Christians. Tebelak, fwiw, was gay and a lifelong Episcopalian who had considered the priesthood at various points in his life. Webber is an agnostic who says he finds Jesus fascinating as an important historical figure. These facts aren’t meant to favor one writer over the other (although I will explain below why I personally prefer Godspell), but knowing these facts does do some to explain why these shows ended up the way they did while covering very similar subjects.

The general consensus I’ve heard and would agree with is that Superstar is about the interpersonal relationships of Jesus the man, and especially his relationship with Judas Iscariot. Godspell also brings the relationship between Judas and Jesus to the foreground, but Godspell (true to its name) is ultimately more about the gospel itself. About Jesus’ teachings, about the community of love that he created, and a little bit about Jesus the Son of God.

In this respect, I’d like to propose that these two musicals unintentionally illustrate two historic approaches to understanding the person and work of Christ. Jesus Christ Superstar loosely follows a theology of Christ which is aligned with the historic Antiochene school of Christology. 

A. Antioch

(St. John Chrysostom, famed Patriarch of Constantinople and student of the Antiochene School)

The Catechetical School of Antioch was a loose affiliation/institution of theologians who trained many of the prominent clergy in the Eastern churches. It emphasized the distinction between the divine and human natures of Christ. It was most invested in historical readings of Scripture. While the orthodox Antiochene scholars certainly confessed that Christ was both divine and human, they tended to state that the divinity of God the Son was not always accessible to Jesus in his humanity. Taken to the extreme, some Antiochenes embraced the heresies of Adoptionism* or Nestorianism**. The value of this school, however, was the investment in an accessible, anthropological reading of Scripture, and an understanding of Christ that emphasized the transcendence of the Son of God and the humanity of Jesus as one of us.

Jesus Christ Superstar approaches its subject matter with a mixture of both pathos and cynicism (intentional or otherwise). Taking place entirely during the Passion, none of the theophanic moments of Christ’s life are depicted (eg, the Baptism of Christ or the Transfiguration).*** We see only his humanity, and it is a very pitiable humanity. I say this not as a criticism, clearly the show succeeds at producing a great deal of sympathy and poignancy for its characters. The presence of the divine in the show is nearly absent. The Last Supper in both shows is not given its full doctrinal weight, but Superstar tones down the spiritual significance of it more than Godspell does. In Superstar, Jesus notices the indifference of his Apostles and says “For all you care, this could be my body that you’re eating, and my blood you’re drinking.”

Jesus and Judas both talk to God, and imply that God answers, but we are only shown one side of the conversation. When Judas commits suicide and is singing the titular number to Jesus on the cross, he does so as a disembodied spirit whom Jesus is not able to interact with. Rather than the traditional account of Jesus going down to Hades and preaching to the dead, here the dead preach to a human Jesus who is doing God’s will but may or may not be able to hear them. All in all, Webber (though obviously not himself an Antiochene by confession) is showing us a Jesus who is primarily a glorified human with a relationship to God, who is nonetheless not especially divine in his capacities, outlook or body. Where he is connected to divinity, there is a clear separation between his divinity and his humanity

B. Alexandria

(St. Cyril, famed Pope (Patriarch) and student of the Alexandrian School)

The Catechetical School of Alexandria was the other major center for Christian theological training in the early Eastern Church, located at Alexandria in Eastern Roman Egypt. It traced its lineage all the way back to St. Mark, but was most strongly influenced by the teachings of Pantaenus, Origen, St. Clement and St. Cyril (above). The Alexandrians were invested in allegorical readings of Scripture, and the use of “pagan” philosophy in the service of theology. They also emphasized the union of the divine and the human in Jesus Christ. Orthodox Alexandrians recognized that Jesus’ divinity and humanity were not consumed by each other, but they tended to suggest that Christ’s divinity and humanity were always operating simultaneously and synergistically, that it was impossible to tell exactly where one ends and the other begins. Taken to the opposite extreme of the Antiochenes, some Alexandrians embraced the heresies of Monophysitism (i) or Apollinarianism (ii). The value of this school was an investment in a polyvalent, mystical approach to Scripture, and an understanding of Christ that emphasized the saving power of God’s own divinity taking on our humanity in an immanent way. 

Godspell is more invested in the ethical impact of Jesus’ life and ministry. However, it is more willing to blur the lines between the divine and human world for the sake of its message and framing of Christ. We see the Baptism of Christ on stage, and although there is no explicit depiction of the Holy Spirit or the Father, the scene is preceded by John the Baptist’s messianic song, “Prepare Ye,” and is woven in and around the song “Save the People,” a song where Jesus proclaims the coming salvation that God the Father will work in their midst for the benefit of all. This happens while the new disciples are also being baptized and receive a flower signifying their membership in the community forming organically around Christ. Jesus’ presence is charged with the eschatological promise of God being in their midst, which is a more Alexandrian reading that blurs the line between where Jesus the human ends and Jesus the divine begins.

I argue that we also see in Godspell an allusion (perhaps unintentional) to the Transfiguration. There is a scene where the stage lights are off and the disciples hold wave glow sticks around Jesus in rhythmic patterns while Jesus talks about the light within. Even if this is not an intentional reference, the visual language of the scene lends itself to the light of God being present in the midst of the people.

Before the Last Supper, Jesus sings the ballad “Beautiful City,” encouraging the disciples to continue the beloved community after his death. While it is a secularized approach in some ways, there is again that blurring of humanity and divinity where the promised city is coming, is beautiful, marked by eschatological hope, and is still “not a city of angels, but a city of man.” During the Last Supper, Jesus prays the traditional Jewish blessing over the bread and wine, and then has lines which mirror the words of institution for the Eucharist. Whether one reads it as a memorial or a sacrament, Tebelak and Schwartz choose to frame the Last Supper as an intentional institution on Jesus’ part. The table is also bathed in light and smoke, implying divine energy or grace gathered around Jesus and his disciples.

On the cross, in Jesus Christ Superstar, Jesus’ last words emphasize his human obedience to the Father: “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” In Godspell, the words are less literal to the Gospel text, but they lean towards a more divine-human reading of Jesus. He says, “Oh God, I’m dying,” and the disciples respond, “Oh God, You’re dying,” with the dual meaning of expressing despair and acknowledging his divinity. Jesus’ exclamation here is also very in line with Alexandrian theology, which emphasized the idea that if Christ is truly God incarnate, then a part of God did truly die on the cross, and not just a human who represented God or who was carried through his existence by God.

Finally, though both shows are ambiguous on the Resurrection in order to place their emotional cores front and center (iii), Godspell arguably has the more explicit allusion to the Resurrection. While Superstar ends with Jesus’ death on the cross and a final overture, Godspell ends with a stirring reprise of “Prepare Ye,” intermingled with “Long Live God,” again the messianic expectation. Jesus’ body is lovingly carried by the disciples offstage. In the production I saw, they carried him upwards into the house, where a bright white spotlight was shining. Though both the Antiochenes and the Alexandrians would naturally endorse faith in the Resurrection, in a secularized context, the Alexandrian-flavored Christology of Godspell is more comfortable with depicting Jesus’ divinity infusing and breaking into the human sphere of action. As such, Godspell is more comfortable than Superstar with at least alluding to the most awe-inspiring feat of Christ the God-man, his rising from the dead.

2. Conclusions and Pointing to Pt. II

In the end, the earnestness, exuberance and eschatological hopefulness of Godspell won me over, whereas after Jesus Christ Superstar I was impressed but not moved in the same way. The interplay between grounded radical ethics, unironic joy and tenderness, and the sprinklings of luminosity and divinity in Godspell spoke to me profoundly as a queer Orthodox Christian. Watching a filmed version of the stage show, I felt a visceral sense of connection to my faith and my God, one that echoed various points along my spiritual journey where my heart “burned within me” like the disciples on the Emmaus road. Where I was surrounded by friends who were seeking Christ, and the presence of God was an animating energy of love, hope and joy in our midst. In the next part, I want to pick up the Alexandrian lens to begin to talk about what moved me about this musical in particular, drawing on my specific experiences as a queer Christian, as an Eastern Orthodox Christian, and as someone who inhabits both of those identities simultaneously.

*Adoptionism is the belief that Jesus was entirely human at his birth and that the divinity of the Son of God came and inhabited him at his baptism or later.

**Nestorianism is the belief that Jesus had a human nature and a divine nature, but that the two were entirely separate from one another, with the divine nature operating the human Jesus without experiencing any of the human things Jesus experienced directly.

***The Transfiguration is not explicitly named as such in Godspell. However, I will argue later that it does make an appearance.

(i) Monophysitism is the belief that Jesus had one nature which was an indistinct mixture of humanity and divinity. This belief is not to be confused with its orthodox Alexandrian counterpart, Miaphysitism, which is the belief that Jesus has one nature where the humanity and the divinity are united but do not dissolve into each other. The latter doctrine is the belief of the Oriental Orthodox Churches.

(ii) Apollinarianism is the belief that Jesus had a human body but a divine soul/mind.

(iii) Jesus Christ Superstar’s emotional core being the pathos of the character relationships, Godspell’s emotional core being the poignancy and ethos of the gospel and the community of disciples.

[theoa-bba]

It's been like 3 years I'm still reeling from the scene where OA is getting attacked by Steve's dog and then she bites the dog and it's just chill with her after??

[pettyelves]

feast on the weak I

[tw: mentions/allusion to assault]

Things happened quickly, like some cruel God was snapping their fingers and sending trail and test in rapid succession. In the last week, Eilithe’s soul had readied to leave its body twice, each time more painful than the last. Eilithe greatly preferred fighting the Void head on, rather than any kind of self reflection.

To say that Sydryn had ruined what started as a peaceful evening would have been the understatement of the year. The Illidari, hulking-- with broad shoulders and muscles that creased sharply. He was easily two feet taller than Eilithe and two-- maybe three of her wide. 

It was a moment of weakness. Not for any love affair, but for -- nearly a month to the day,Eilithe had been drunk and walking alone. Sydryn had surprised her. Or at least that is how she worded it to Kurel-- what she had meant, was that she had been weak. That she had gotten scared. 

“It was moment of weakness,” Eilithe repeated aloud. “He surprised me,” she said again. But when his face started twisting she had to clarify. “Sydryn did not hurt me,” she choked out, and they were true. He’d been victim to her paranoia, however warranted.

With her back to the tree, Kurel had twisted her jaw in his hand and spoke firmly against her ear. “What are you hiding from me?” Every word she uttered back to him was passed through a tight lump in her throat. In all their years together-- she’d never told him.

So then came the question of who. By the time she had gotten out a what and a who, Kurel was seething because he could do nothing. Years had passed. People were dead, or long gone, or well hidden.

That night they had collect their Not-Daugther, Yurissa, and spent the evening keeping the city watch from bleeding out at the clinic. Only when she sat down beside him on the balcony overlooking the harbor did she think about her confession again. 

Among the things he had bought, Kurel lifted a small box, which Eilithe silently hoped was a wedding ring. It wasn’t, but Kurel had this way with good intentions that always fell a fraction short. Or at least they would have, if Eilithe didn’t fine the flaw endearing. 

Onto her pinky finger he slipped a truesilver band, with an ordinary looking orb on it. A soft sigh escaped her, before she went to tug it off and slid it onto her left ring finger. There it laid perfectly between the sun and scarab tattoo. He must have known he’d missed the mark-- after all, he gave the scrying ring to her for practicality, not romance. This was, perhaps, why he settled into silence, shortly after announcing that The Queen’s Gambit would be to port by the next day.

“And you’re going hunting then?” The wording much have told Kurel that there was fear, deep in her stomach that he would leave again.  “Not ye’.”

Then came more silence, where she could feel his mind twisting back to earlier in the evening. When Kurel went deep into thought, his body started to feel distant from her fingers. She knew what he was thinking, knew that he was thinking on the name and revenge. 

Eilithe fit in his lap as though she were made for it, her lips to his ear, she whispered. “What else?” 

That night he was gentle to her, exploring each inch of her that was scarred or smooth. It was his ‘I’m sorry’, spoken with fingertips. That night he offered her a breath of air in ever rising waters which threatened to suck her down to her death.

@kurel-andiel​

[preyontheweak]

Orders are Orders

When the elders spoke of the land changing, rumors and conversations shadowed the unsavory reality of how far the motherland fell. Witches, pirates, Gods of the Old, plagued the once peaceful landscape, each in their own respective way presenting a challenge to the locals and their newfound companions from the Alliance. The Admiral had hoped that the rumors were untrue, or true on a scale less pronounced by the whispers that strangers exchanged in bars, or at the ports where the Arbiter docked for resupply.

Dubiousness found a fatal blow in the form of the newest audience at the last port before Freehold, a childhood friend Alexa stumbled upon in the local tavern convincing her that the rumors were true. Now a fisherman, Kal filled her in on all the local news over a shared bottle, including the dangerous folk Freehold attracted. This information had been conveyed properly to Captain Ironedge, and the final plan was to leave the Arbiter at bay, sending the Admiral and her men in by boat and arranged horseback once in the shanty town.

“If I did not know you anywhere, Admiral, I would not recognize you.”

A solemn voice startled Alexa from thoughts and brief contemplation of what had led her to this moment in time. The actions and resulting consequences that caused her to exchange the armor of her rank and branch for common cloth, in order to blend with the local lowlifes. Dark navy blues and pristine white had been traded for shades of crimson and black, her hair now lightened many shades to a light blonde and straightened mostly of its natural waves. Ties to her former appearance only included the pistol strapped to her right thigh, and the worn ebon knee-high boots that she was never seen without.

“I do believe that is the point, darling. To blend with the scum and lowlifes while seeking out a bounty. Though arguably, your task is much more simple…find whoever stole the Priest's ink, and bring them back to me. Alive.” She did not glance up from her task while she spoke, fingers deftly working to remove soot from the barrel of her rifle.

A grunt in mild disappointment resounded at the last word, though it did not surprise Alexa due to the lingering rage that tarnished the Marshal and her every action. An ugly emotion, anger and wrath soured most of their conversations as of late, and middle ground was not a commonality as it once had been in their interactions.

“In the meantime, I’ve been tasked to bring back a Captain’s head, so I will be taking the boys further inland and mingling a bit, though I would prefer to keep my distance, for obvious reasons.” With a grunt of effort, she lifted the rifle up to peer down the scope across the water, pacing her breath with a final exhale.

Their lingering silence could be explained as uncomfortable for most, but did not cause unease between them. Side by side, they finished collecting gear and arranging weapons, only speaking in exchange for a required object out of reach, or short small talk on what was to come.

This pattern ebbed right up until they halted at the rowboats that would lead them to shore, geared, and armed for whatever may lay ahead. They stood then, toe to toe, Alexa with her rifle slung over the right shoulder, and Kyn with her numerous stash of weapons, true to form as her specialization required.

“I do not need to tell you to be careful, do I?” Alexa kept her even tone, though the look that reflected in the depths of her eyes could only be described as a momentary lapse in a hardened exterior. Hands rose in tandem to rest at the leathered chest of the kaldorei weaponmaster, holding for emphasis while they stared each other down with a practiced coldness that melted when hands held to armor.

“No.” Bright silver eyes met their companion of blue, lips breathing into a smile in jest as Alexa’s face morphed into a state of rage at most likely, the thought of her dearest companion perishing in battle. “I have fought foes far greater, and mightier than your little side problem, Alexa, for much longer than you have been alive; it will be good to get some fresh air. I am glad that you have decided to trust me with this.”

“There is none else I would dare to.” She whispered, only for their company, before she pulled back and side stepped into the small boat, already teeming with her selection of men to go shoreward.  Kyn offered a salute in response, as Alexa was carefully lowered downwards, her gaze never wandering until the small craft hit the waves. Kyn watched from afar until Alexa was spotted on the shore amongst her men, trekking upwards into the nearby forest to make contact with their local guide.

With the Admiral out of her sight, the Marshal finished up preparations, only to spend the next hour or so coaxing her mighty saber into a smaller boat, headed for the opposite shore.

@kynire |

[i-am-rmt]

Eyes (i)

Look me in the eyes and say it again - tell me that I’m worthless, that you don’t care, that I’m not worth your time.

Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t love me.

That    you    don’t    care.

r/m/t

(i, ii)

[jenniekimie]

castiel reed pt i.