Bring Me the Collar, Leo
TWs: legalized slavery, references to electrocution, PTSD references/hallucinations/real or not real
Notes: this was born from a conversation with @peachy-panic and spiraled from there. takes place somewhere around 8 months after the beginning of luke/leo first contract.
Table of Contents
“Bring me the fucking collar, Leo.”
Leo’s hands are shaking worse than they have in a long time as he fumbles through the drawers of the desk. He saw Luke put it here, god almost… six months ago, at the same time that he had made him promise not to touch it again.
He buried it deep in this drawer, Leo is almost positive he did as the tears spring to his eyes.
He knows… he knows he saw him put it in here, but it’s dark, and his palms are covered in sweat and his head is pounding and he can’t… he can’t find… where is it?! His mind is screaming to find it, to find it fast because Luke is upset and Leo doesn’t know why, he doesn’t kn… he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. He’s barely breathing and tears are starting to flow freely down his cheeks and he wants to scream at his own weakness because he knows that it makes Luke more anxious when he cries. He frantically pushes around papers and pens and finally his fingertips contact the familiar plasticky-metal band and… there’s a sick moment of relief. He found it. He found it, so he won’t… he won’t have to tell Luke he couldn’t. He can breathe, just for a second, and he does. He pulls it out, squeezing it tightly. Luke will go easy on him, right? It’s Luke. Kind and gentle and good Luke. He’s angry, but he’ll be fair. He repeats it, over and over, as he walks back toward Luke’s room.
He’s disoriented. His mouth is dry, and he puts all his focus onto taking slow breaths so that he doesn’t hyperventilate.
“He gets himself so worked up,” one handler says to the other. “Makes it harder on himself.” Leo closes his eyes, every muscle in his body ready for the–
His toes are curling on the cold wood as he takes hurried steps, warring between getting there quickly and trying to stall, to at least get control of the tears, and what fucking time is it, how much trouble could he have gotten into? Maybe he was… maybe he was shouting in his sleep again, and he knows that Luke hates when he shouts in his sleep.
He’s standing in front of the door, he doesn’t completely remember getting here, but his feet brought him, and he doesn’t know if Luke wanted him to knock or wanted him to just bring it in so he knocks softly, then a little louder, but Luke doesn’t answer.
Leo shakes as he opens the door silently, and he wishes he had used the bathroom and had eaten something. Sometimes it helps. He can barely see anything in the dark but he can feel the band and the attached metal box tightly in his hand and he can almost feel it burning him, the phantom heat that isn’t really there but it… it will be.
“I–I…” His voice is soft, too soft for Luke to hear. He walks to the side of the bed that Luke sleeps on, and his stomach is in knots, and his heart is pounding, and he decides to kneel on the floor next to the bed and speak a little louder. “Luke,” he says, his voice weak and frightened and he knows that’s going to upset Luke more, so he tries again. “Luke,” he says a little louder, injecting all the confidence that he can find.
It’s a moment or two before he hears the bed shift. “Leo?” Luke’s voice is hoarse. “What…?”
“I brought it,” Leo says, too quickly. He swallows back as much of the fear that he can, he holds the training collar out; his hands are shaking but he clutches it tightly so he doesn’t drop it.
“Brought what? Where…?” Luke reaches across himself and turns the light on, and it takes a few seconds for his eyes to adjust and for him to scan the room before they land on Leo. Leo flinches and shrinks down further.
✥ ✥ ✥
Leo is on the floor next to his bed, on his knees but hunched over as far as he can be, the… mother fucking shock collar is held out in a white-knuckled death grip and he’s trembling so hard he’s very nearly vibrating.
“Leo,” Luke says, dropping quickly to a crouch next to him. Then he mouths what the fuck? Leo can’t see him, it’s mostly a question that he’s asking himself but he wouldn’t be upset if Leo just offered him the information.
“I’m… sor… sorry,” he gasps. “I brought it, I’m sorry it… it took… too long… it was hard to f–find in the d…desk but I…”
Luke reaches out and pries it from his hand; he should have destroyed it the last time Leo used it, but it’s fitted with a fucking microchip directly connected to the DLS databases and it would have raised alarms. He should have locked it up. He sets it on the bed just as Leo bows his head, giving him access to his neck. “Leo, what the fuck?” This time he whispers it loud enough for Leo to hear him, but Leo doesn’t respond.
“Hey.” Luke is careful with his movements and soft with his voice as he hooks a finger under Leo’s chin. “I need you to look at me for a second.”
He applies just enough pressure to coax Leo’s face up, and Leo is cooperating with him, until his eyes, filled with absolute fucking terror, meet Luke’s. “I don’t know what you think is happening here,” he says gently, keeping his tone as clear as he can. The backs of his fingers ghost across Leo’s forehead. He glances at the clock. It’s been a few hours since Leo fell asleep. His eyes are unfocused, he’s covered in sweat. “Can you tell me?”
“I…” Leo swallows. “I don’t know. I…” He goes distant, and Luke can see as Leo tries to pinpoint what’s real and what’s in his head. When his eyes come back into focus, his brow furrows. Luke’s finger is still at his chin, and he pulls it back. “I got… the collar… for you?”
“I can see that,” Luke replies. “I didn’t ask you to bring me this, Leo.”
“You said to get… get the f… get the collar, so I did? I… I don’t…” Reality is coming back to Leo in waves, pieces are falling into place for Luke, too. He puts a hand on the side of Leo’s neck, exerting just enough pressure to get a read on his pulse, and Leo leans into the touch. Luke lets it happen, his other hand gripping at Leo’s shoulder, then moving down to his arm. “You didn’t?”
“No. Can you try to stand up with me?”
Luke’s hand is on his forearm, keeping him balanced. “I’m sorry,” he says. Confusion colors his tone, which is better than the fear, Luke thinks. “I don’t– I don’t know… I’m…” Leo sits on the side of the bed slowly, silent tears still rolling down his cheeks.
“It’s okay. Just breathe, for a couple of minutes, okay? You’re coming down from something pretty scary, give it a little time. I’ll get you some water, alright?”
Leo nods, curling his legs up, wrapping his arms around them. Luke grabs the collar as he stands, and Leo tenses, his eyes following Luke as he takes it away. When he returns with no collar and a class of cool water, Leo’s eyes are open, he’s no longer actively crying, but he’s not focused on any one thing in the room. “Jesus, Leo.”
They sit in silence, Luke helping steady Leo’s still shaking hand as he sips it. “You alright?” he eventually asks, as Leo eases himself down onto the bed. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, Luke guesses it probably won’t be the last. Maybe it’s never been quite as intense, but when his nightmares get specific, reality sometimes gets… distorted. It’s been building for the last couple weeks, since the disastrous fundraiser, and Luke thinks he probably should have seen the signs.
“I think so,” Leo whispers, not looking Luke in the eye. “Can I… sleep here… for tonight?”
“Of course,” Luke whispers back. Leo stares ahead, and Luke wonders how many days it’s been since he has slept through the night. In the morning, they’ll make a game plan.
He drapes the blanket over Leo’s shaking shoulders, whispering, “Close your eyes, okay? Get some sleep,” as he does. He brushes his hand once more across Leo’s forehead, pushing the hair off of his face.
“I’m sorry,” Leo repeats; he’s fading quickly.
“It’s okay.” Luke’s voice is low. Within minutes, Leo’s breathing evens out, although he grips the blanket tightly in both hands. Luke allows himself just a few minutes of watching him; he tells himself it’s to make sure he’s okay, and it’s mostly true.
“It’s okay,” he says again, but he knows Leo doesn’t hear him. “It’s alright, buddy.” He turns off the light, but he doesn’t sleep.
Tag List: @peachy-panic, @whump-cravings, @afabulousmrtake, @crystalquartzwhump, @maracujatangerine, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @distinctlywhumpthing, @thecyrulik, @highwaywhump
