1993 Was Magic, Says Government of Canada
Hello everyone! I apologize for being away for so long.
Let’s go over this text/graphic example of how computers will change Government of Canada service standards, circa 1993. Now, I obviously understand how much technology has changed since 1993. The example here is talking about dial-up internet, etc. That is not a problem.
It’s everything else. Onward!
(The following is taken verbatim from: http://www.tbs-sct.gc.ca/pubs_pol/ciopubs/tb_oimp/uit-ati/uit-ati01-eng.asp. All emphasis added by me.)
Future Service Delivery Scenarios Walk-in Centers example:
A businesswoman takes the elevator down to the main floor in her office building in Saskatoon.
Why mention that she’s taking an elevator? Is it to prove she is indeed a businesswoman?
Instead of going for a quick lunch, she decides to stop in the local government business service centre next door. Her partner has been wondering whether it would be worthwhile to try to develop some foreign sales for their recently patented polymer building panels. But neither one knows where to start. "Perhaps they'll know in here," she thinks.
This setup is weird. She enters the government centre, and THEN thinks that maybe they can help her? Also her internal monologue says “in here,” which is vague. Which service centre is she in? What department is running it? As a reader, I’m having trouble visualizing this scenario.
Also, why are you emphasizing that she takes quick lunches? Oh, it’s because she’s a powerful woman, so eating isn’t to be enjoyed. Also, trying to emphasize how speedy your service is doesn’t work when there’s a whole paragraph of setup and I, the reader, am lost.
How many of you read “partner” and assumed she was a lesbian? Remember when that word meant “someone I run a company with”? Oh the times, how they change.
Inside, she's directed towards a researcher who,
Whoa, whoa, whoa. In this scenario, researcher is a job where you are just…available for people to use? Imagine if that were the case? That would be amazing.
after consulting a database of contacts, calls the building material specialist at the National Research Council in Ottawa.
Wow. So, in this scenario, the research monkey (clearly just a receptionist) calls NRC to talk to another researcher WHO ACTUALLY PICKED UP HIS PHONE. I…suppose it’s possible that in the early 90’s people actually picked up their phones all the time.
The business centre researcher suggests that it might take a little time to get all the information and perhaps he could fax it to her when it's ready.
Hold the phone that just got answered--What do you mean he “suggests” it might take a little time? And he will “perhaps he could” fax it to her?
Suggest: (verb) to mention or introduce (an idea, proposition, plan, etc.) for consideration or possible action.
Perhaps: (adverb) maybe; possibly:
Is this bitch goes to get her docs or what? And who is this “her”? The business-lady? Or the research-eptionist?
So, what this sentence actually says is: The business centre researcher introduced the idea that it might take an undefined period of time to get all the information and that maybe he has the skills and equipment needed to fax it to feminine pronoun when it’s ready.
Two hours later, a three-page fax arrives.
Again, location undefined. Let’s assume the business-lesbian gets it.
The first page lists four upcoming trade shows featuring new external building materials; one is highlighted, with a note in the margin from the building specialist in Ottawa suggesting that this has proven to be the most successful show for manufacturers of similar products in the past.
…wha…This guy found all that in two hours? With dial-up internet and a telephone? And he had time to make notes? And this service is free to all Canadians? Oh god, wait, there’s more:
The second page is a print-out from a Canadian commercial database and lists a two-day-old United Nations (UN) Request for Proposal for innovative, light-weight, all-weather building material for experimental housing for central Africa; contact names, telephone and E-mail numbers are provided.
Oh, COME ON. The UN just HAPPENED to need EXACTLY the thing that busy-lesbian manufactures? No one can suspend their belief to this degree.
Also, remember when “e-mail” was capitalized? And when we used “E-mail numbers?” Good times.
The third page lists three Canadian prefabricated building companies which have all established records selling abroad. A marginal note from a trade official
Pre-fabricated building companies: Companies manufactured before this writing.
Technically, “marginal note” is used correctly, but I bet a lot of us read it as “a note which is insufficient or ostracized.”
A marginal note from a trade official in Tokyo confirms that the embassy will keep the new supplier in mind in upcoming discussions on joint Canada-Japan cooperation on new uses of polymer building materials for the Japanese housing market.
A trade official in Tokyo wrote in the margins? No. He did not. He could have written on the fax and re-faxed it. But he didn’t. Also, the freakin’ Canadian embassy in Japan isn’t going to fucking remember Sally Startup.
Also, fun fact, in 1993, JAPAN WAS GOING THROUGH ONE OF THE WORST RECESSIONS EVER. THEY WERE NOT IN FUCKING TALKS WITH FUCKING CANADA TO BUILD HOUSES.
Benefits include enhanced convenience to the user, lower operating costs for service delivery
I can’t even begin to calculate how expensive this whole process would be. But Holy Satan would it cost so much money. I’m glad I’ve never had to pay taxes.
Let’s check out this graphic:
First off, the .gif that the gov has up wouldn't let me add colour in Paint. I could make circles, lines, etc., but ONLY in grey. Apt. I had to take a screen grab in order to add colour.
1) Labeling issues: Each label has a different format and gives different kinds of information. This is confusing. If you start with [city] [gov department], you should stick to it.
2) Businesswoman: the huge question mark makes her seem really stupid. They should have put a speech bubble, so it’s like she’s asking a question, not just a generally clueless person. Also, they make it seem like she walked into the Service Centre with just a piece of paper. She would have a purse/briefcase, because she is purportedly out during her lunch hour.
3) Arrows: First of all, these arrows point back AND forth. Were should I be following? I think it’s supposed to show the flow of information back and forth. But arrows are meant to guide the reader’s eyes. Also, after Tokyo, the arrows change to just one direction, which is jarring.
4) Lab coat: The business centre researcher is wearing a lab coat. Lab coats are only worn while working in labs, or by assholes. There is no need for someone who specializes in INFORMATION about construction to own a lab coat.
5) Canadian flag/Tokyo: Now, the reason that there is a Canadian flag here is that we are in the Canadian Embassy IN Tokyo. But at first glance, the reader sees a Canadian flag and the label “Tokyo”, not “Canadian Embassy-Tokyo”. So the reader assumes that the GoC doesn’t know what a Japanese flag looks like.
6) Fax machine: I love this scenario where everyone has a dedicated fax machine ON THEIR DESK and not one for the office. Do business-ians hate sharing? I also love that the paper coming out just says “UN,” at what would be the bottom of the page. I really hope that the UN signs all documents “Sincerely, UN.”
