Feb 15, 2020
I would like a table, but can you put it in a To-Go box for me?
*gives u a heart-shaped to-go box*
seen from China
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seen from China
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seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Bulgaria
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from China
I would like a table, but can you put it in a To-Go box for me?
*gives u a heart-shaped to-go box*
You're adorable! Who's your family?
@punkhalfghosts from Tumblr is secretly @lexovorus.
BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES
BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES 🐝 BEES.
Round 4 Match 3: @punkhalfghosts vs. @planetgalactica
After the arena repair crew checked and double-checked the barrier – which was somehow completely intact, despite Bug shoving their staff through it – the next match could finally begin.
“Popcorn?” Aster asked. Apparently they were serving more than just Cheez-Its this time.
“Thanks.” Danny smiled as they poured the snack into a paper cup with a picture of Rick Astley’s face on it. They offered some to Tali too, but she shook her head.
“I’d like to, but can’t risk choking while announcing the next match. Speaking of! Up next we have Match Three: Punk “Audi” halfghosts versus Planetgalactica!”
Audi heelyed into the ring, spinning on their heel with a flourish and striking a pose. Planetgalactica yawned as she trailed in after them, holding her pillow loosely under her arm.
“PHIGHT!”
Audi wheeled towards Planetgalactica as quickly as if their heelys had rockets on them. Sparks flew as they sped across the pavement. Danny was sure Planetgalactica, standing bleary-eyed and motionless, was done for. But at the last second, she stepped to the side. Audi cursed, careening towards the barrier, but managed to correct and stop just in time. They glared before going in for another attack.
“Is that all you’ve got?” Planetgalactica yawned. “I’m going to fall asleep at this point.”
“The only sleep you’ll need is the eternal kind,” Audi snarked back. But as they raised their fist for a heely-powered punch, Planetgalactica blocked with her pillow – or tried to. The pillow couldn’t handle the force of the punch and exploded on impact, blasting feathers directly into Audi’s face.
Danny winced. “Dang, that backfired.”
Audi scrambled to clear their eyes of the feathers, but Planetgalactica was faster. She aimed a kick at Audi’s stomach, and slightly unsteady on their wheeled shoes, they slipped. The pile of feathers broke their fall, but wasn’t enough to save them from losing the match.
Tali sounded her kazoo – quietly, because Planetgalactica’s eyelids were already drooping again.
“Punkhalfghosts is unable to battle! Planetgalactica wins!”
“Yay,” she punched the air weakly, then began to snore where she stood.
Welcome to the Phight, @punkhalfghosts.
Round 2 Match 10: @asandygraves vs. @punkhalfghosts
“Hey you ignorant sluts,” Bug said. “Tali does, actually, have a life. Or like, afterlife. So I’m here to help out or something. Because, unlike Tali, I don’t have a life. Points for me.” They threw up a peace sign.
“Huh,” Tucker said. “Kind of a sad brag.”
“Yeah,” Bug said, holding back tears. “Anyway, this is match ten, a showdown between asandygraves from the mean streets of the carnivorous outskirts and punkhalfghosts from the observant’s keep—which, hey, is also where I’m from!”
Asandygraves strode up to the ring, wielding a metal baseball bat about the size of their forearm. “Let’s get this bread!”
“Alright, so the match will start in five, four, three—”
“Wait,” said Danny, “where’s punkhalfghosts?”
As he said this, punkhalfghosts rolled in on their heelys wearing a shirt that said “i’ll procrastinate anything, bitch.”
“All right,” Danny said, nonplussed.
“Anyway,” Bug said, “round two, match ten, begin!”
Danny expected asandygraves to start swinging their bat around, but, to his shock, they threw it at punkhalfghosts. Punkhalfghosts zipped out of the way on their heelys and asandygraves was left weaponless.
“Well, that backfired,” said Tucker.
Half a second later, the bat was spinning back toward the ring, into asandygraves’s hand.
“Or not,” said Tucker.
“How the hell did that work,” said Danny.
Bug shrugged.
“You think you’ve won because you broke the laws of physics?” punkhalfghosts asked. “Bitch, I’m on heelys.”
They zoomed up to asandygraves and raced around them faster than the eye could see. After a minute of ineffectually swinging their bat, asandygraves fell over, exhausted. “I give,” they said.
Bug blew their whistle. “Match ten is over. Punkhalfghosts wins!”
Round 3 Match 5: @ma-tsu-the-male-goddess vs. @punkhalfghosts
“No sign of Walker’s goons?”
“Not yet, anyway,” Vic answered Tali. “There might be… nevermind.”
“Nevermind what?” Tali asked, a little snappier than normal. Danny was right, they were both on edge. It was more difficult to tell with ghosts sometimes, because usually they were all like that, but…
Vic gave him a side-eyed glance. “We should talk after this match.” Alone, was the implication, or at least away from Danny and his friends.
“You sure this place is safe for us?” Sam asked, catching on to the tense atmosphere.
“So far it’s been just as safe as the rest of the ghost zone. More safe, actually. The promised they wouldn’t make me fight.”
“Yeah, ‘cause ghosts are so good at keeping-”
Sam elbowed Tucker before he could finish. “Look, they’ve been good to us so far. We can’t go judging them just for being in a different stage of life than us.”
“Different stage of life, huh?” Tali laughed. It was only then that Danny realized she’d been eavesdropping on their hushed conversation. “That’s one way of putting it. Anyway, we’re not gonna eat you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Well maybe I am now,” Tucker said under his breath, giving Tali a side-eyed glare.
Tali shrugged. “I guess we can find someone to eat you, if you’re into that. But save it for after the Phight.”
Tucker gagged as Sam and Danny cackled. Tali ignored them in order to announce the next match.
“Match five! Or something like that. Anyway, introducing a ghost who’s about to yee their last haw: Ma-tsu-the-male-goddess!”
“Haw yee!” They yodeled as they galloped into the ring, wearing some kind of cowboy getup.
“Uh, it’s pronounced ‘Yee Haw,’” Tali corrected over the mic.
“Don’t tell me how to live my life.”
“That was the wizard-robe ghost, right?” Tucker asked Danny.
“I think so. It’s kinda hard to recognize them without the leopard print. Somehow, this is still better though.”
“And the ghost who’s ready to Orange Justice their way to victory: Punk-“Audi”-halfghosts!”
“Someone please kill me,” Sam muttered as she watched the ghost, who was wearing some kind of Fortnite costume, dance into the ring. Danny and Tucker cheered like the video-game-obsessed teenage boys they were.
“PHIGHT!”
“No heelys this time, Punk,” Matsu called, swishing their ragged green cape.
“I won’t need them to beat you, loser.”
Matsu ran forward, cowboy boots pounding on the hard (but recently cleaned) pavement. Audi charged at the same time, looking very intimidating in the weird bear costume, but Danny had seen them fight before. He wasn’t going to underestimate them.
For a second it looked like the two ghosts would just run headlong into each other, like a jousting match gone wrong. Then at the last moment, Audi ripped off the mascot head and shoved it onto Matsu.
“Ahhh!” They screamed, now charging blindly ahead. They tripped over the edges of their cape and skidded across the ground.
“It’s… been so long…” Matsu moaned out, raising an arm dramatically towards the sky. The effect would’ve worked better if their cape hadn’t been sprawled over their head. “It’s time, isn’t it? I’ve lived far too long in this reality. The voices… they’re calling me… Goodbye, hopeless fools!”
And with that, they blurred into a cloud of smoke and were gone.
Audi blinked, picking up the mascot head and putting it back on. “Well, that was extra, but okay.”
“Are they actually… gone? Like, gone?” Tucker put Danny’s question into words.
“Matsu? Gone?” Tali laughed. “They’ll probably be home in a couple hours making some mac and cheese.”
She blew the kazoo. “Ma-tsu-the-male-goddess is unable to battle! Punkhalfghosts wins!”