#purely obsessional

[heartshapedcaskett]

Are there any forums where I can talk about moral scrupulosity ocd? I want to do so anonymously because this illness is tearing me apart.

[02343]

Last night at my support group

... I met my first other person with purely obsessional OCD so that was super cool. 

He came in with his parents and I hadn’t really talked about my OCD, anxiety or depression in my group yet - just like, touched upon not driving a little bit and some major anxiety/compulsion things I have like the build up of leaving my room/my home, insatiable needs to put things in places, etc. But yeah, last night you could tell his parents were so relieved to meet someone else with a similar situation and they asked me questions and I spoke a bit about it and it was a lot easier knowing my answers were validating someone rather than me just whining because it’s hard to feel confident that I’m “OCD-enough” at times in a group where everyone is a germaphobe or a checker and I’m like “I literally thought I was a psychopath for 10 years and just kept quiet about it also sometimes I can’t function because I think about knives too much?” which is... like a thing, but when it’s mostly over-thinking sometimes I overthink my thought process and I’m like maybe I’m just making it up lol  I’m looking forward to seeing my therapist Dianne tomorrow and telling her about it.  I had a pretty bad anxiety attack on Tuesday night, I smoked too much weed and got into this like seriously tight black hole where I was thinking too much about the human experience and I became ~too aware~ of my surroundings and I started really scaring myself and I felt like I was going to pass out and passing out was the only way I could return to like, soft and calm and just exist. Overthinking about my existence can get pretty scary and most of the time weed helps me like stop clenching my jaw and move forward with my day but yeah Tuesday sucked a whole lot, I think it started with like, I started going through my old art and getting really upset at myself for the work I produced in college and the effort I’m putting in now and I know I want to create work but like what the fuck am I doing anyway  and now I’m nervous about smoking weed again and esp now, I’m going to blame this on my OCD, that right when I think about the relief smoking will give me I immediately think of that sinking feeling of being too self-aware and separated from everything and lonely and scared and I don’t wanna think it but my brain won’t stop saying “Hey!!!!! This is a thing!!!!! This is all in the plan! Look, you’re a person, you have thoughts, you’ll have a job, you’ll die! You’re just like everyone else! You’re nothing special! Your existence is just experiencing this!” and while that used to give me a sense of calm, it’s becoming a little obsessional :(  reading a bit about intrusive memories today and I found a thread on reddit that validates so much going on with my mental health and its so helpful to have others that exist with the same problems so I feel less alone anyway I’m gonna get some work done now, I’m feeling more in control and I’m looking forward to learning more about what’s going on in my brain

[mental-health-advice]

There are a lot of questions about individuals but not about how to help others. My boyfriend recently found out that he has pure OCD and is going to counseling, but has not been there long enough to learn coping techniques. It is very difficult for us to communicate and he often shuts down during an episode. I find that my trying to help often makes it worse and I do not want to put more stress on him by telling him how I feel. Any advice on how to help him and how to take care of myself?

Hey there sweetheart,We have thought about that too! We don't have many resources on helping others with things like OCD so we're actually working on a page for it- keep an eye out :)I'm awfully sorry that you and your boyfriend are going through this, I'm sure it's very stressful and upsetting for both of you. I am glad to here that he is going to counseling though- it's a difficult mental illness to cope with so this is good! Pure-O OCD is a pretty scary and extremely distressing thing to have because it bases itself on unwanted intrusive thoughts. I'm sure you know all this but I think that simple definition is something you need to keep in the front of your mind- it's distressing and scary and no fun at all. Remind him that you're there for him and that these obsessional thoughts have no bearing on your opinion of him. From my perspective, one of the most prominent worries a person with purely obsessional OCD has is that their thoughts make them a 'bad', 'twisted', or 'unlovable' person. So yeah- remind him that although he doesn't have to tell you about his obsessions and thoughts, he can if he wants to and that it's safe for him to do so.It's very easy for someone with pure o to shut down both in general and when in an episode and that will make it more difficult to communicate. In my opinion I think you should treat these 'episodes' as panic attacks whether that's what they are or not. I assume that during these episodes he gets panicked, upset, maybe violent (to others/himself/his surroundings), etc. so I think you should be prepared for that. Read through our pages on Calming Anxiety and Panic and our post on Helping someone with a Panic Attack. I'm aware that these 'episodes' aren't necessarily panic attacks  but helping him calm down and distracting him really is the best course of action and OCD is and anxiety disorder and an episode will be brought on due to a lack of control, a trigger, or panic most likely. Distracting someone/yourself from intrusive thoughts can feel impossible so while not trying to overwhelm them try to have a lot of distractions at once- things he can focus on (favourite tv show, his favourite music playing as well, have him look at things and say what they are- a deck of cards can work- have him talk to you about something he is passionate about, etc.).Disclaimer: You can be there for him without hearing his thoughts. A lot of the time, people with pure-o OCD do have very upsetting thoughts and if you feel like you're unable to listen to these, cope with them, and help and reassure him on top of it all, don't ask him about them. This isn't a harsh or callous thing- you need to take care of you. If he tells you some of his obsessions and you can't deal with them, it will make it worse so tell him that you aren't able to help with that directly if you aren't. You can help and support him without knowing the details. Remember to take care of you.You could try and approach him when he isn't having an episode- ask him how you can help. Sometimes people don't want to talk about this so tell him it's important and be calmly persistent. Suggest coping mechanisms until he learns other ones- look them up online, look through our blog

Grounding Techniques

Distractions

Alternatives

Music, TV, doing hard maths equations, writing things down- writing the thoughts down and ripping them up, other things which will require his concentration.

Remember to look after you. It can be consuming and tiring to help someone get better. Have a day for you- baths, calm music, treat yourself to a netflix marathon, have reminders to do these things and when helping him remind yourself to stay calm. If you don't take care of you then it is a big possibility that you could resent him or be unwilling to help (I don't mean for this to sound like it's something that will happen- I just mean that it can if you don't give yourself breathers.Maybe you could try to be involved in his recovery? Ask him about these techniques he learns and things like that. Try to learn about pure OCD here (it's Wikipedia but I actually think it's very accurate) and here. Please take care, hunny.You are getting along fantastically,Amy-Shona~<3