Your future mad-scientist. (part 1; inner virtue of myself)
While I was travelling, this is the moment when I realised that 2 years have passed since I posted here.
Honestly, 2 years have been a rollercoaster of a ride- sadness, despair, feeling of rejection, anxiety, falling out of love. To start writing again after a long time is such a wonderful moment. It makes you feel like you have matured through time, although it is just a gap of 2 years.
Well, surprisingly, as I matured, I don’t really care about my love life. Well, the reason why I need to talk about this topic is due to the fact that this Tumblr is full of my love stories 😂. Hence, that’s the end of my love stories.
Now, let's talk about the major reason why I started writing in the first place; studying. Yes, I admit, studying was such a pain in the ass, especially while I was in high school. But the hard work paid off. Like, legit.
Right after I finished high school, I applied to a private university as I wanted to pursue a course that a lot of fo people don’t really look forward to, which is pure science. Why pure science? Since forever, I have really like working in labs. Growing up, I love watching Sains Comot, Backyard Science and more. But who ever thought that my passions burned more when I compete in Tunas Saintis while I was in high school.
This is another thing about it, we were one of the 2 teams who didn’t win the competition from the school, it's kind of a shame to us. As soon as the prize-giving ceremony ended, me and my partner called our parents- that was the first time I burst into tears in front of my mom because of a failure. But that is also the first time that I heard my mom comforting me in mature, serious ways. it was a bittersweet moment, with a dream of mine to continue that project, proving that I did not just throw away my 2 years effort.
Hence, I decided to pursue pure science. But this is a tough moment too- I got offered to continue engineering, but I refused. Got a couple of backlashes from family and friends, but I don’t give a damn. Then, got an offer to pursue aeronautical engineering in Russia- this was the breakpoint.
I was clueless and anxious. the What-if questions keep coming to me, but still got that blurry line. I prayed istikharah and immediately that night, God gifted me with a dream that I didn't think of. it was a dream where I met my chemistry teachers, sharing all the knowledge that I have gained with them, and they were happy with my life. Teacher Fau was right, when she said that she sees me working in a Research and Development lab in the future. That dream was still vivid in my mind until now, hence decided to reject the offer to Russia.
Now that I pursue something that I like, I hope I can manage it. I want to shine the light on the world that being a scientist is not a bad thing. especially to the Malaysians who always see pure science as people who do not have any other options but to study this. It was kind of a shame, to imagine that Malaysia have a lot of clever, talented and smart-ass students, but in the end, asked tp pursue the Malaysians-renowned course: engineering. those smart students should pursue pure science (or medicine at least), win a Nobel prize representing Malaysia and prove that science is not just about engineering.
So kids, chase your dream, it's hard at first and feels like a fiction story but trust me, I am one of the fiction stories.
