#pxi

[waspstar]

[pixieprowl]

list of new frequents:

concealer under my eyes

painting outside

jumping until i'm out of breath

listening to the local sermon radio to make myself mad

windows open in any weather

writing my objectives on paper scraps beside my bed

putting a cigarette in my mouth and breathing through it but not lighting it

drawing non-figurative things

writing. a lot a lot.

forcing myself to stand up when i want to sit down

forcing myself to talk to employers when i want to stay at home

thinking, "i'm nobody's little weasel" whenever something i am embarrassed about or ashamed of occurs to me

not listening to my summer playlist

forgetting what i'm doing mid-task

forgetting what i'm saying mid-sentence

forgetting. a lot a lot.

& forgetting to throw my phone across the room

[k-sqpd]

My ocs hi😯

[pixieprowl]

i keep discovering the people i think are cool in life often think i am cool as well. i texted one hometown girl abt hanging out this summer & she said yes and she always thought i was cool in highschool. i texted a girl from college how she's doing & she said alright and that i was in her dream last night. i feel like i am being given delicate perfect items of kindness and i am just too scared to hold them in my big numb hands

[pixieprowl]

and good night to the stars on my ceiling left by the previous tenant

[pixieprowl]

every so often i go through the entirety of the blog of someone i used to know. naturally, this invites the question, "why is it that you 'used-to' know them?" also, maybe, if you were personally invested in my interests, the question, "why their entire blog?" and the answer to one is, it was my fault this time, and it happened so long ago my hair is four inches longer. the other answer is that sometimes when you show enough investment in someone else's mystery, they follow you around forever in silent unseeable ways.

[pixieprowl]

god blessed me with neurosis so i could correlate my prayers for help with incoming misfortune and pain

[pixieprowl]

my drafts are my other blog