Asexual!Q x Female!Reader: Logical Fallacy [Ch. 2]
Summary: Q’s got one hundred and two problems. His girlfriend is, technically speaking, every single one.
Challenge: “102 Things A Guy Should Know About Girls” challenge by Miss Chocobo on Lunaescence Archives.
Ratings/Warnings/Tags: T (foul language; sexual references; asexual!Q; sexual!reader; a running gag about sexual harassment; double standard: sexual harassment, female on male; sexual harassment played for comedy; James Bond & Reader friendship; civilian!reader; artist!reader; complicated family relationships; reader has a really big family; miscommunications; MI6 would not behave this way in reality; set post-Skyfall; joking references made to Bond/Q)
Pairings: Q/Female!Reader; James Bond/Eve Moneypenny
Tag List: @imaginesfire
Master List
Rule #2: Be aware of all your girlfriend’s guy friends, brothers, fathers, etc. They are protective. Every single male friend or relative she has will kick your ass if you end up hurting her.
“Bowling. How did you trick me into going bowling?”
You stopped bouncing up and down on the balls of your feet long enough to throw a glare in Q’s direction. “It’s not bowling,” you answered. “We’re here to see our friends from university.”
“In a bowling alley. Where we will bowl,” he pointed out.
“Having fun isn’t a travesty, you know.” You shoved your hands in the pockets of your jacket and frowned up at him.
The both of you stood in the alley car park. As Q wasn’t in any particular hurry to get inside, he stopped to look at you.
“Which reminds me,” you added. “No computer while we’re in there.”
“What?” Q shook his head and folded his hand protectively in front of his bag. “I have work to do!”
“Alton, you need a break. You’ve been working until past midnight for the last two weeks.”
“How else am I supposed to get anything done?”
“Maybe you should start deferring jobs to your underlings.”
“Right, because you would know how to handle a job.”
“Hey!” you snapped. “I have a job.”
Q looked away with a snort. “Graphic design.”
“Excuse me?”
This was an argument that Q did not want to have. He was already stressed out enough about having to see everyone he’d spent his university days with. Exuberance had never been Q’s forte, in any capacity.
So, as he lifted his eyes skyward, he gave you a muttered, “Nothing,” then added more loudly, “Let’s just get this over with.”
“That’s the spirit!” As always, you bounced right back to overly cheerful.
You spun around and raced inside, leaving Q to shuffle slowly after you. And highly concentrated annoyance in three…two…one…
“Alton!” several voices chorused.
He could not help wincing. Several months of going by “Q” to nearly everyone outside of you made the sound of his birth name almost obscene. Besides that, Q found himself quite suddenly surrounded by a tangle of arms, all of which seemed intent on slapping him on the back.
“Yes, yes, hello,” Q said as he adjusted his glasses.
Of course you would disappear on him when he most needed you. He tried to break through the wall of limbs enough that he could spot you somewhere in the mess, but several thick hands grabbed his arm and pulled him backward.
“Ack!” he cried.
“Hey, where are you going?” A beefy man with a scraggly beard grinned down at him–Dallin, if Q remembered correctly, and the ginger beside him was probably Talbot. Q wrenched himself free and adjusted his tie before answering:
“I need to find [Name].”
Dallin turned Q forcefully toward the counter and pointed. “She’s right over there, ordering the games!”
Q nodded, though he knew his expression was not one of relief. At least the couple standing with you–maybe Granger and Hallie?–weren’t physically assaulting you. He took a step back so he could better see his attackers clearly.
“Ah, [Name],” said Talbot as he watched you clapping excitedly at something Hallie said. “Grew up to be quite a looker, didn’t she?”
Q shrugged. He hardly noticed women enough to be able to compare you to others. Neither of them seemed to expect him to respond, however.
“Yeah,” said Dallin, then he looked over at Q in a manner that nearly made him jump. “You know, I was real into her back in our university days. I was going to ask her out. But man, she was so into you. Wouldn’t even look at another guy.”
“She–She was?” Q twiddled with his glasses again, unsure of how to respond to such a statement.
“Totally,” said Talbot, finally taking his eyes off of your back. “She flirted with you for five months before she got desperate enough to do that whole breast thing.”
“I…” Q cleared his throat uncomfortably and threw a look toward you. Of course, you would have had to figure out how to start a relationship in the most public and embarrassing way possible for him. “I didn’t realize.”
Dallin boomed out a laugh. “Of course you didn’t! Wouldn’t look away from a screen for more than ten minutes then, either!”
“You’re a lucky man. She’s a nice girl.” Talbot nodded.
“I suppose,” Q said, but then Dallin slapped him on the back. The force of the blow knocked the wind and the rest of Q’s words from him.
“Which reminds me!” Dallin said as he looked at you over Q’s head.
You took a pair of dilapidated shoes from the counter and started back toward Q’s little group.
Then Dallin got quite close to his ear to whisper, “We’re fond of her, we are. Wouldn’t want her to go back to pining after you.”
Q tried not to betray his intimidation as he forced himself to look straight into Dallin’s eyes. “So?”
“So don’t break her heart.”
“Or we’ll break your nice little tablet,” Dallin added.
“Hey guys,” you broke in to say. “You ready for a game?”
Both men nudged Q none-too-softly in the ribs. “We were born ready, [Name].” Dallin motioned toward a far lane and you skipped after him without another word.
Q and Talbot watched the two of you wander over. Talbot laughed.
“We’re just kidding, Alton,” he said as he trailed after Granger and Hallie. “Just keep her happy.”
Q’s eyes drifted toward your back before he followed himself. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.”
