Scrubbed for 11 hours, worked for 18. My feet feel like they're going to fall off. Why do I do this job again?

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Scrubbed for 11 hours, worked for 18. My feet feel like they're going to fall off. Why do I do this job again?
Obviously I was tired but slept through all my alarms and have not been there for my GP appointment phone call. I'm going to a special place in hell. But seriously I waited a fucking month. I'm completely out of meds and this is a THING. Kill me.
Why is it a 20 min meeting denounced 2 years of being ignored about my knee? I hate that I basically have to work the system to get what I want. I know most people arent that privileged. But yeah, two years of physio and no improvement to being referred to an Enhanced practitioner after 20 mins. Make it make sense.
Disturbingly, an integral part of saving lives is knowing how to end them too. So many things live rent free and unhinged in my brain.
I have literally been dreading tomorrow's shift for two weeks because of who's doing it with me, and I got a lost minute reprieve by being moved to cover another list. RIP the person replacing me, I'll say a small prayer.
I haven't even started my Emergency night shift meaning it isn't 8pm yet and there's already pure chaos on the main street of bars going along the city centre. Clocks going back, and Halloween weekend drinking, what on Earth was I thinking 🤔 😅 🙃
I have just had the wildest conversation. A patient wants me to report the paramedics who started CPR to save their life to the police for assault because apparently, the bruising on their chest is excessive. They will NOT accept my explanation its the anticoagulants that's made the bruising so bad and THEY LITERALLY SAVED THEIR LIFE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.
This is why no one wants to do this fucking job anymore.
Therapy dog 🐕 at work today. Always a good mood change of pace. And I do mean the dog is for staff lol, our patients are taking naps 😴