#quality conversations

[cryptid-crusader]

My boyfriend: "Wait, are you really a Virgo? That's your star sign?"

Me: "Yes, what did you think it was?"

My boyfriend: "I don't know.......... Salamander...?

[blacklodgesocialclub]

the real punchline is @anakinkshamer is older than me

[academla]

God bless that family I babysit tho They came home and I had my studying shit strewn across the table The mom: *gasp* is that your handwriting?! Me: haha yeah Her: it's so neat!!! Vivek look at Edye's handwriting!! The husband (Vivek): *glances briefly* yeah Her: wow you're so organized!!!!! Me: haha thanks The hubby: have you considered going paperless?

[mashpotatoyeti]

☠️

[thebroccoligoblin]

Convo between me and my teenager. For context she is 16 and also black.

Her, abruptly: “Miss Sophia! Ya know…I’ve been known to bring ppl together. ppl call me Cupid. I wanna set you up with Mr. Carlos. (this man we both know)”

Me: “Oh really? That’s so kind of you but I like white boys.”

Her: with a look one can only decipher as disgust: “Really?!”

*Moment of mutual silence and confusion*

Her, with enthusiasm: “I like white girls!!”

*We giggle and high five*

I hate the foster care system but GOD I adore my kids✨

[rinneil]

You're having trouble getting your halloween costume on and off because your booty's too bomb or something

@ai-nan

[zenami]

Nami: Jack is dead on the inside, Gabe is dead on the outside

freedomconvicted: with their powers combined they make a single dead man

Nami: LMFAO

Nami: my otp is one fucking dead guy

[vocabularryonthemind]

Most of the time Harold is wildly embarrassing but you have to give some respect to a hoe who goes nips out to his boyfriend's mum's wedding.

@nautilarrie