■ , 🦴 ! otherhearted: little brown bat, spotted hyena, white tail deer
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⚠︎ DNI: ⌞ pro-shipper, nsfw blog, anti-xenogender/neopronoun, TERF, radqueer, endo system/supporter (or any non traumagenic system/supporter), radfem, exclusionist, political blog, lgbtq discourse, zionist, wilbur soot/callmecarson/melanie martinez/supporter of any other outted abuser, believe in any form of cluster b personality disorder "abuse" ⌝
⚠︎ THIN ICE: ⌞ transid/x user (just dni if ur the harmful ones like transabled/race/age/etc), contradictory labels (good faith or not)/"gaybian"/"lesboy"/"bi-lesbian"/etc, religious blog, k-pop stan, DSMP fam, older than 18 ⌝
⚠︎ BYI: ⌞ i tend 2 come off as selfish / cold-hearted at times, i am also unempathetic and generally dont really put myself in other ppl's shoes when i cant relare 2 their experiences. i am a paranoid person and i experience hallucinations sometimes and i may post abt them if i feel like i have 2 do so. i use slurs that i reclaim ( faggot, tranny, retard, etc, etc ), i like some problematic medias ( like south park, i guess ). i can also come off as "dry" or "uniterested" but thats only bcz i just met u and i am getting to know u better ⌝
⚠︎ PII: ⌞ desirdae user, alterhuman/nonhuman, at leaat 13 to 17 years old, neurodivergent, smiling friends enjoyer, juggalo, LGBTQ+ or LGBTQ+ ally, or just like the same interests as i do ⌝
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# ☆ — the doberman growls : rants n talks
# ☆ — clawing at my cage : vents
# ☆ — bad dog! get back here with that post : reblogs, lol
# ☆ — the doberman is on the hunt : reblogged identities that i identify with
( credits to my fav gal on the interweb 4 inspo the 4 this introduction :3 )
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guess what? i make userboxes for alterhumans! check out my inbox check to see if my requests are open and what is currently in drafts, being made, or in the queue!
A day at Disney for inner child healing with the gang. Set in their college days. A bonus chapter for the Euphoria series. <3
wc: 1.5k
“Why are we here, Jan?”
“Just ‘cause.” She shrugged.
“I hate this place.”
“It’s not that bad, honey.” Janis snaked an arm around your waist as you approached the line to enter Disneyland with her, Regina and Cady. “We’ll have our own fun.”
You chuckled wryly, “All I’m getting right now is a flashback of being dumped here alone with my sister.”
Janis kissed you on the cheek. You sulked but walked forward with them anyway, looking around the place.
“Let Disney do its magic.” Cady remarked, “We’re here with you now, and we will never leave your side.”
You commented snidely, “Yeah, like hugging the mouse is going to miraculously help me forget.”
“Well it did the last time we were here.” Regina reminded you.
“Because I was a child.”
“Well, you’re still a baby now. My baby.” Regina smirked.
“Shush.”
Regina pulled you closer to her and aggressively smooched you on the cheek. You whined, making them chuckle. “Enjoy it.” She ruffled with your hair.
“I’ll try.” You answered, defeated.
“It’ll be fun, just focus on whatever we have right in front of us, nothing else.” Janis encouraged.
You smiled, “You’re right. I just need to get out of my head.” Awhile later, the group of you were officially in the park. Your senses were immediately engulfed in all things Disney- colourful, and innocent and happy. You smiled, they saw it, but there was also some hesitation on your face being hit with all the sights and sounds. The smells were your worst enemy and seemed to take you back to that awful day. But Janis caught on, squeezed your hand and led you into a gift shop while other park goers rushed to different rides.
“Pick whichever one you want, honey.”
You approached the whole wall of Minnie ear headbands gingerly, Janis’ hand was still on the low of your back. Regina nudged you too, without saying a thing, just a small squeeze on your shoulder. You felt the material on a handful of them before Cady spoke up, “We’ll all get one too. What’s a theme park visit without some matchy accessories, right?”
You chuckled, knowing she was just trying to make you feel at ease. But, you appreciated it and eventually picked out a pair of baby blue sequined ones while they chose their own favourite.
And then, you were all off to your first ride. After that, Janis decided it was time to walk around and meet some characters. Unlike when you were a kid, seeing those mascots in front of you now made you uncomfortable. Frankly, your immediate reaction was to run away from them. Yet…somehow, you couldn’t. It was right before lunchtime when you spotted Mickey Mouse a few feet away from you. The kid within you was suddenly bright-eyed and you started to walk quicker. Of course with Janis holding onto your hand, she actually kind of did a run with you.
“Aaand the Disney magic has officially worked.” Cady declared, satisfied.
“We knew it, didn’t we?” Regina sighed contently, winding an arm around the redhead’s waist.
“She’ll never be able to resist her favourite character.” Cady nodded, “Her inner child remembers the good too, never just the bad.” Janis helped you capture everything: from the moment you walked up to him, to you posing for a picture and hugging him. Seeing your face light up like that made her emotional. Anyway, your sister and Cady soon caught up to get photos taken as well and it was only then when a line started to form. So you were glad to have gotten your moment without being rushed.
You walked away after a wave, literally on cloud nine, squealing and all as Janis hugged you for a bit. Then, she pressed a tender kiss to your lips. “I hate to say it, but they were right. Disney does its magic.” She smiled cheekily.
“Mhm.” You shrugged, walking hand in hand with her, “Should we go get lunch or do you all want to continue hunting down some characters?”
“It’s up to you, baby.” Regina laughed lightly, “But Moana’s right there.”
Your eyes went wide, “What? Really?” You whipped your head around towards the area your sister was looking at. Buzzing with excitement, you were now pulling Janis along with you while you sped walked to Adventureland. Janis happily got yanked away by you, chortling in the meantime.
The day started to go by very fast from that point on. You were having fun, so time really just flew by. After dinner, it was time for a fireworks show. While you were expecting it to be great, that particular loud noise made your heart rate rise and you didn’t like that. As a result, you were practically stuck to Janis’ side while waiting and also throughout the entire duration of the show. She found it amusing and teased you for it, but that was just typical Janis. If anything, you clung onto her harder. Well, she loved that, how clingy you got. Always have, always will. But she will never openly admit that to anyone but you.
“My feet hurt.” You whined.
“We’re going back to the hotel now, you silly.”
“Jan, she’s bullying meeee.”
Cady laughed, messing with your hair which wasn’t helping at all.
“I would never.” Regina gasped. “You’re so cute, why would I bully you? Also, you’re my sister.”
You hid behind Janis. Who said, “You do realise you being a cute little shit is only proving their point?”
You groaned dramatically. Janis laughed, kissing you on the cheek, “Hop on. Don’t have to walk if your feet hurt.” So you did wind up climbing onto her back and letting her give you a piggyback ride to the hotel. You nearly dozed off, since you were so comfortable with her. Once she plopped you onto the bed, you were ready to just turn in for the night, but they wouldn’t be quiet and just let you do that. Instead, they wanted you to put on your pyjamas and wash up.
You dragged yourself out of bed and got changed into the first set of pyjamas you reached for then sleepily brushed your teeth and washed your face. Janis was next to you doing the same to get ready for bed, while watching you. You could feel her gaze on you. Not that you were bothered by it, of course. You smiled at her, eyes barely open. Janis found that endearing, and mirrored your smile. Once you were done, you held out your arms and while you expected her to just chuckle and hold onto your hand, Janis actually carried you off the floor and walked over to your shared bed. “There, now you can sleep.” She grinned, pressing a loving kiss to your lips. You smiled into it and reciprocated.
“No, lie down.” You pouted.
“Stop poutinggg.” Janis joked, “We get it, you’re cute.”
“No.” You continued. Janis laid down next to you, allowing you to lay on her cozily. She practically smothered you with kisses, you laughed while you closed your eyes.
“Ugh, you guys are so cute.” Regina grumbled. “It’s honestly a little disgusting.”
“Shut up, we put up with your PDA too, yknow?” Janis retorted, rubbing your back to lull you to sleep.
“Shhh, I’m tireddd.”
“‘Course you are.” Regina laughed with a sigh and dimmed the lights, “G’night.” Then. she continued doing her nighttime skincare routine. Cady was already in bed, you heard her get settled in right before you drifted off.
What you didn’t know was that Janis stayed up talking to Regina and Cady while you were out like a light. “I’ve probably haven’t seen her smile this much ever.” Janis remarked.
“Yeah, me neither. It’s…been awhile since I saw a genuine smile from her.” Regina agreed. “I mean— you know, it’s always been a little hard to differentiate. But today was easy because of where we are. And honestly I fucking love that you thought of this. I always wasn’t sure because she’s been so against it, but you changed this place for her and replaced it with such good memories.”
“Hm, well, I love her. I want her to heal.” Janis shrugged, taking a peek at you, “Look at her, she’s cute even just laying here like that.”
Regina bit back a laugh, “Tell me about it. I remember always squishing her face when we were little.”
“Aw. That’s adorable.” Cady snickered, “She’s so tired. But that just means she had a lot of fun."
"Good, she's supposed to have fun and enjoy life." Regina nodded, sitting beside Cady sporting a mask, “We all do.”
“We’re doing pretty good with that, guys. We got this.” Janis added.
“We sure do.” Cady agreed. “How are you not tired yet?”
Regina smirked, “After this, I’m falling asleep once my head hits the pillow.”
“You’d better. We’ve been up since 6:30.” Cady warned.
“I hear you. Speak any louder and she’s gonna be awake again, and trust me. She will cry.”
Janis cracked a smile watching you peacefully asleep on her chest, heart swelling with love. She pressed a sneaky kiss to the top of your head and you instinctively snuggled closer, so she held you tighter. “Sweet dreams, honey. I love you.”
Warnings: fluff, mentions & descriptions of anxiety, some coarse language
In which, reader wakes up feeling like they’ve gotten out from the wrong side of bed and nothing feels right
(Pictures used above are from Pinterest)
Requested? Yes / No
You stood before the vanity, looking at yourself in the mirror. Taking a few deep breaths to relieve the tense feeling in your body, not much happens— you still felt…weird. But since you only had thirty minutes to leave the house and get to your shift at the bookstore on time, you couldn’t focus on that. Not now, you couldn’t be late. Glancing over your shoulder at Capri’s sleeping figure, you left the room. Grabbing your lunchboxes and placing them into a bag, you then put your shoes on. You made sure that you've already grabbed your keys, wallet and phone before leaving the house. Your heart was racing and you didn't like it— you didn't know why that was happening but you couldn't do anything about it. You got into your car and drove off, hands clutching onto the steering wheel so tightly that your knuckles turned white.
"You're okay, y/n." You reminded yourself, "Breathe...in and out. Breathe. Watch the road, focus on driving. Nothing else. Everything is—" Nope, not okay. You couldn't even trick yourself into it. Shit, and now your stomach hurt. "Why must it start hurting at the worst time possible?" A soft sigh escaped your lips as you stopped at a light, "God, stop it."
Eventually, you got to work. Putting your stuff into your locker, you put your name tag on and retrieved your water bottle. Chugging some of the liquid, you put it back, walking out to the floor.
"Everything alright, y/n?"
You blinked blankly a few times, "Uh, yeah. Fine. Everything's fine."
You felt like the air was getting sucked out of you— you felt like you were ‘over-feeling’ every single normal bodily sensation.
Your manager then tasked you to stock the shelves with a few boxes of the new books and other items that had just arrived. Thankfully, during which, you felt fine. You felt relaxed, for the first time since you woke up that morning. You worked in a pretty small bookstore that doesn’t get too crowded so it was peaceful most of the time.
“y/n.” Your manager taps you on the shoulder, unintentionally startling you.
“Oh, hey Alex.” You stopped what you were doing for a moment.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle ya. What time do you wanna go for your break?” He asks.
“Uh, maybe 12:30?”
“Sure thing.” He nods, “Okay, I’m gonna let you get back to restocking. Is it okay if you cover for Elliot at 11:30? He’s gonna go for his break then. I gotta make some calls to suppliers and ask Dana why she isn’t here yet.”
“On the checkout?”
“Yeah.” He confirms.
You knew you had to do it somehow. You guys were the only ones working today and were short a staff member. “Just for the duration of our break. Sometimes he takes a way longer break.”
“That has become a problem, hasn’t it?” Alex sighs.
“A little, yeah.” You shrug, maybe coming off a little more annoyed than intended.
“I don’t wanna pry because we all have bad days, but do you wanna take a minute for yourself and calm down? ‘Cause I know sometimes you deal with thought spirals.” He asked you straightforwardly.
“I am feeling a little weird today. Don’t know why, and those breathing exercises did not work.”
“I’m sorry, but if you need a minute just let me know and you can dip out, okay?”
“Okay.” You nodded lightly, “Thanks, I just— I think I need something to do where I’m not thinking about anything, like—”
“I got you, just finish this up and work on the displays. Change them up a little. I’m gonna go give Dana a call, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
————
As midday approached, you started feeling more…okay. “y/n, Alex says you’re covering for me, right?”
“Yeah, but can you come back on time? Because I’m not feeling too great today and I don’t be on the front for too long.”
He seethed, “Sorry. Yeah, I’ll come back on time, I promise.”
“Alright, thanks.” You answered with a shrug, sure that he would most definitely not keep to his word. But, it had to be said. He couldn’t just keep taking longer breaks because he feels like it.
You took his place behind the cashier while you watched him take off his apron and leave. The bell above the door tinkling, signalling his departure from the store. You zoned out briefly, staring at the keyboard when the door opening again snapped you back into reality. You were expecting a customer but it was Dana who rushed into the store apologising profusely for oversleeping.
“Good! There you are. So good to see you. Will you be okay to—” Alex walks out from the break room. Dana interrupts him. “Work overtime? Yeah, I’ll make up for the hours I missed this morning.”
“That. And, could you cover the checkout? I want y/n working on the displays instead. Elliot takes forever and Derek our store’s artsy guy won’t be working for the next two weeks.”
“Sure, no prob!” Dana stood beside you.
“So you wanted me to change them all?”
“That’s right. It’s getting a little boring having everything looking like this for the past two months. Shake it up a little, friend.”
“On it.” You nodded firmly.
“Also, Elliot should be back by 12:15. So he isn’t back by then, call him, text him…whatever you do. Get him back here.” You heard Alex telling Dana as you walked into the storage room at the back to get out a couple boxes of decorations.
You worked on redoing the displays until you had to go for your break. Sitting down in break room, you opened up your lunchboxes and dug into the food: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in one container and the other had some trail mix in one half and veggies in the other half. You completely zoned out while you ate, until Capri sends you a text.
Lunch went by pretty quickly. You put away your empty lunchboxes in your locker, went to wash your hands, then got back to work. “All good?” Alex asks when he saw you exit the break room.
“Yeah, I finished my food so I’m going back to wo—”
“You, not the displays.” He bit back a laugh.
“Better, actually. Thanks for asking.”
“That’s good.” He replies, “Hey, you’re working tomorrow, right?”
“Yeah, what’s up?” You ask, shoving your hands into your pockets while you leaned against the wall.
“Nothing, I’m just thinking if you wanted to just take the day off tomorrow? You’ve worked six days last week and already two days this week.”
“Would you have enough people on shift?” You asked again, concerned.
“We’ll be fine, employee-of-the-month.” He jokes, “Don’t worry about it. Take tomorrow off, relax, sleep in, sleep all day, go see the stars with your girlfriend. Anything.”
“If you insist.” You agreed, “I’m gonna— hey, do you think we should shift the horror and thriller books more to the front for this table? Since Halloween’s next month.”
“y/n. You know what you’re doing at this job, just go for it. I’ve never doubted you.” Alex says.
“Very well then.” You nodded slowly, scurrying away to the back of the store to move the set of books to a table nearer to the front of the store.
————
After saying bye to Alex, Dana and Elliot, you left and started your drive home. As you got into the car, your nose was hit with an oddly familiar scent which made you feel anxious. You hated that certain scents could do this to you. You were doing pretty well until now.
Deciding to put on your favourite playlist, you drive off. Once again, you relied on your breathing exercises the whole way through. However, when you got home, you still felt strange. That feeling from earlier on in the day was bubbling back up.
Unlocking the front door, you stepped inside and shut the door. Before the front door even fully shut, Capri came up to you. “Hi, baby.” She presses a kiss to your lips while brushing the hair out of your eyes. She studied your face, “Do you want to talk about it?”
You pursed your lips together, shaking your head, “I…don’t know what’s making me feel so…on the edge today? I just feel shitty, every little thing triggers a stomachache or makes my heart feel like it’s going to beat out of my chest. Everything just feels so off.” You looked away from her but she just tilted your chin with her finger to make you look at her. Capri cups your cheeks in her hands, caressing your cheek, “You’re okay, you’re home now. I’ve got you.”
Looking at Capri right in the eye made you feel like crying, made you feel like releasing those tears that you were holding back for some reason. Finally, with her, in her presence…her company. Your body just…relaxed. Completely relaxed and let go off whatever repressed feelings from the day. “I’m gonna give you a hug, alright, baby? Is that okay with you?” She asks softly and you answered by wrapping your arms around her first.
You soon stopped crying and broke away from the embrace. Capri slowly does the same, “Go take a shower, okay, babe? I’ll join you in a minute. Just have to turn the oven off.”
“Okay.” You agreed with a sniffle, trudging upstairs.
You grab your towel and walked into the bathroom, stripping your clothes off then stepped into the shower. You hear footsteps over the sounds of the falling water, then saw Capri walking in. She helps you shampoo your hair and lather the soap on your body— you just let her, enjoying her company. While you washed everything off, she was shampooing her own hair and soaping up her body. Even when you were done, you just hung around until she was too.
She leads you back into your shared bedroom by the hand then picked out a change of clothes for you— her clothes. Your favourite comfy hoodie of hers and your own pair of shorts. Once you were both dressed, she cuddled with you without you having to ask while watching Friends with you. She knew exactly what you needed.
Eyes flicking upward to look at hers, your heart melts as do you, into her embrace. She presses a kiss to your head, pulling you closer to her. Her eyes. They felt like…coming home. So beautiful, so warm, so loving.
“Capri?” Your eyes met hers again. She presses the space bar to pause the show, “Yes, baby?”
You cup her cheek and pulled her a little lower, pressing your lips onto hers. Capri smiles, returning the kiss. “I love you.” The corner of your lips tug into a smile.
You’ve had this horrible sense of dread for the past three days. You simply could not shake it off, until this morning. You were at work when you abruptly got flooded with messages by your Mother about how you Dad was going off on a tangent about how he hated the home, how he hated the family, photos of the apartment — trashed. As always, that endless stream of texts from your Mother would progress to ones that blamed you for past mistakes that you thought had been hashed out.
But apparently not. You had too high of hopes for them, it seems. They never failed in making you feel like the worst person on earth when all you’ve been trying to do, was your best. There it was. The dread, the dread that your body just somehow knew to have and prepare you for this.
“…y/n.” You heard a voice by your ear.
You blink rapidly, trying to snap out of your daze.
“y/n! Aísle 7, clean up.” A voice cut through your mind, you focused on his face, “Then put out new shirts in the Kids’ section. Sam doesn’t want to do it.”
“…Okay.” You swallowed painfully, “I— I’ll do that.”
“Go, do it.” He gestured dramatically, glaring at you. Tears prick at your eyes as you turned on your heel and got on with your tasks. “And while you’re at it, wrap up that nasty gash on your arm.”
While you mopped up the spilled slushy, your mind was once again racing and filled with your Dad’s yelling. You didn’t even have to physically be there to hear it, not today. It happens so frequently that you could recite his words, but they bothered you deeply nonetheless.
“y/n, Daniel says you have to cover for Jace in the cafe 4-7pm. He had to leave.”
“He had to leave?” You repeated, in disbelief. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath to let out the frustration, “Okay, yeah. I’ll be over at the cafe area at 4.”
You were supposed to get off work at 4. You started at 8:30. You could only sigh and carry on, you needed this job, because you needed money. So really, more hours of work was a good thing.
Countless clean ups, restocks and entitled customers— and some crying later, you were finally at 4pm, getting a slight change in your environment in the supermarket’s cafe. At least you just had three hours to go, right?
Oh, no. You’d forgotten to reply to Jos’ text message. She'd texted you to confirm what time you were getting off work. So right now, you quickly got your phone out from your pocket to text her that you'd be getting off at 7pm. A customer walks towards the counter, you slid your phone back into your pocket.
"Hi! What may I get you today?"
"Hey, can I get the BLT without the tomato?"
"Sure thing." You were faking your enthusiasm, not wanting to get caught and reprimanded by your manager Daniel for 'not serving customers with a smile'.
Once the customer had left, you let out a sigh, and then you were honestly just pretending to be busy for a few minutes until another customer came up to the counter. When dinnertime rolled around, that's when a line formed at the cafe. A little line, which you had a love-hate relationship with. It made time pass faster since you were actually doing something with barely a pause, but when it was truly crowded, your brain would honestly short circuit and there had been a couple times where you'd fucked up a customer's orders. But thanks to those 'experiences', you've been learning and eventually went on autopilot mode once it gets busy.
"Nora, I need this iced, please." You handed the drink back.
"Oh, shit." She mutters, "I'm sorry."
"You're good, just remake it and they're good to go. We don't have a line now."
You turned back to look at the clock on the wall— 6:32pm. Thank goodness you'd be able to get out soon.
As Norah handed the correct drink to the customer with an apology, you excused yourself to go use the restroom. "Sure, are you okay?"
"Yeah, of course." With that, you slip away to the back. Sitting on the toilet, you took the chance to check your phone.
Another text from Jos. 17 minutes ago to be exact. God, you hope she wasn’t mad at you.
Sliding your phone back into your pocket, you did your business, washed your hands and went back out onto the floor. 21 minutes to home time. Well, you were going over to Jos’ home. You could not be home right now. Or ever, preferably. It was…dangerous.
————
With your backpack lazily slung over your shoulder, you exited the store. Feet aching, head pounding, and having at least a handful of new bruises or cuts— thanks to your own clumsiness at work or from home for other reasons…
When your vision finally came into focus, you spot Jos’ car. It drives up to you and stops, you get in. Jos leaned over to kiss you on the cheek. While you appreciated and loved the affection, you could not react. You were so tired and she knew it, so she wasn’t upset about it.
“Mom made your favourite.” Jos says as she started to drive away from your workplace.
“That’s nice.” You said, your voice nearly a mumble. “I need to stay over at your place, Jos. Likely for awhile. Is that okay?”
“y/n, of course that’s okay. You can stay for as long as you want to.” Jos promised. “Do you want to listen to some music, baby?”
“It’s okay.” You shook your head no, then leaned it against the window.
“Okay.” Jos nodded, her hand carefully placed on your thigh.
Your eyes fluttered shut a little while later, the exhaustion taking over your body. Jos wakes you up when you two got to her house. She only shook you gently, but you jumped, absolutely startled to your core.
She was equally shocked and worried by your reaction, her hand that she placed on your arm to shake you awake was swiftly retracted, balled into a fist.
Without saying a word, you opened the front passenger door and got out. Jos gets out of the car too after turning the engine off. Jos unlocks the front door and you entered immediately, making your way up to her room. You had ignored every single person on your way. And they sensed that something was going on so they didn’t bother you with any other questions, letting you go upstairs as you wished. You didn’t see Jos until a few minutes later: she’d brought you and herself a plate of food each.
“Get changed, and let’s eat. Hm?” She sets down the tray on her desk and got you her clothes to change into: A hoodie and a pair of sweatpants.
You quietly did so then sat on her mattress, “I’m tired.”
“I know, baby. That’s okay.”
You sighed softly, turning to face her wanting to tell her something but decided not to. You took a sharp inhale and said, “Let’s eat.”
The meal proceeded in silence. The whole time, you were debating whether or not to talk to Jos about what was going on at home. It was right at the tip of your tongue, you needed to get at least some of it out of your system because it has been weighing down on you to the point where you were on the verge of tears at any given moment. Yes, even at work. You were literally just crying in the grocery store today.
After finishing your food, you brought your plate and cutlery downstairs to wash them. “Sweetie.” Margot came up next to you, “If you need to talk about anything, I’m here to listen, I’m here to help.”
“Okay.”
What else could you say?
‘Say it, tell her. Tell her now.’ A little voice rang through your head, growing louder each time that sentence repeated itself. He deserves to be punished.
“I can’t go home.” You said quietly, drying the plate with a small rag. “It’s not safe, I…don’t feel safe.”
“You can stay here with us, y/n. Do not go back there. I don’t want you to get hurt.” Margot replied, seemingly getting what you meant so quickly. “Are you able to tell me more, sweetie?”
You took a deep breath, licking your drying lips, “I don’t know.” You put the dried cutlery back in its drawer, then turned around, leaning again the countertop as you stood.
“I get it.” Margot continues, “If you’re not ready to tell me any more, you don’t have to force yourself. What matters to me is that you’re safe, so please stay here and do not go back to your house.”
“Thank you.” You swallowed your tears.
“Do you want to cover up that gash?” She notices it. Shit. You forgot about that.
“Okay.” Your cheeks were flushed with embarrassment.
“Sit down.” She says softly, “I’ll help you with that.”
Margot grabbed the first aid kit and helped you clean the wound again, you seethed, fidgeting uncomfortably in your seat as she finished it off. Jos came down around this moment to check on you. “Oh, good. There you are, I was wondering what was taking you so long.” She sits down beside you.
“Do you have any other…wounds?” Margot asks apprehensively.
You only shook your head.
“Alright.”
After that was done, you were back upstairs with Jos again, ready to go to bed and for this day to be over. Jos brushed her teeth first while you were laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling trying not to fall asleep. “You gotta brush your teeth first, baby.” She laughs, “C’mon.”
You dragged yourself out of bed and to the bathroom, accepting the toothbrush she’d just held out for you. Naturally, she was done with her routine first so she was waiting for you in bed while you were washing the facial cleanser off your face and drying it off.
You climbed into her bed and laid on her directly, your cheek on her chest and one hand on the surface while the other hung off her side, you kind of just…straddled her. Reflexively, she combed her hand through your hair, giving you soothing head scratches at the same time.
“Jos?” You ask, voice cracking.
“Hm?” She hums, the motions of her hand still consistent.
“I wanna cry.” You revealed quietly.
“That’s okay.” Jos said back, “Go ahead, baby. You are safe here with me. Okay? Let it all out.” Her hand on your head smoothly moves down to rub your back, and as if on cue, the tears you have been attempting to swallow all day, spills from your eyes. But, you were still keeping quiet, not wanting to make any noise.
With Jos silently rubbing your back and pressing occasional kisses to your head, that’s somehow all you needed to feel truly safe and secure to feel what you needed to feel. After enough time, you eventually only felt sleepy, thanks to her calming presence and what she was doing. “Feel better?”
You nodded, mumbling a soft ‘yeah’.
“Are you comfortable like this with the bandage on your arm?” Jos asks, you could feel her eyes on you intensely,
“I am.” You sniffed, breathing out shakily as your fingers picked at a frayed little string on her tank top.
Jos kisses you on your head for the umpteenth time this evening, “Good. Think you could get some sleep, baby?”
“Mm.” You mumbled incoherently, but nodded so she knew what you meant after all.
“Good night, baby.” She smiles to herself, watching your little action of picking at the string on her top, eyes so focused on the material. “I love you.”
Those three words cause a painful lump in your throat to arise, swallowing the almost-too-rapidly forming tears, you said ‘I love you’ back.
“And thank you.” You gnawed on your lower lip, “For…everything.”
“No need to thank me, y/n.” She replied honestly, “I love you, I care about you. That’s all you need to know, to remember. I’ll always be here for you, just like you have been for me, even though it could be hard for you to do so on some days.”
You didn’t say anything but listened, focusing on the warmth of her palm against your back, slowly but surely getting coaxed to sleep.
“Just close your eyes, go to sleep. Rest. No one’s gonna hurt you here, baby. I’m right here with you.”
