After watching Night at the Museum with my partner last night I mentioned that I found Dick van Dyke weirdly attractive in the movie.
Weirdly because while I don't have a "type" "silver fox" isn't usually it by any means or measure.
But there's something about Van Dyke's demeanor and charismatic expression, especially in the role he plays in Night at the Museum that I found appealing.
The deviousness and charme just did something.
I ended up looking him up, finding out he is 100 years old this year and apparently endorsed Bernie Sanders in 2016 and 2020.
And then stumbled upon photos of him from the 60s and realized the strange appeal is gender envy.
Butch van Dyke gender envy goes hard.
On an unrelated note Night at the Museum passes the Bechdel test by subjective technicality (bizarrely) and some of it really hasn't aged well but it remains an enjoyable movie not least of all because of Robin Williams and Dick van Dyke's contribution.
100% understand why Baby Butch me aged circa 10 was obsessed with this movie and especially with the "I can't believe its not queerplatonic" "enemies to XYZ" bromance between Jedediah and Octavius... and the fact that Jedediah quotes fucking Brokeback Mountain at Octavius went right past me as a kid for obvious reasons.
I just KNOW the moment Wednesday season 2 is out, and they continue this gay vibes from the novelization of season 1, people are going to be screaming about how platonic relationships are dead in media.
I am surprised to learn that as of late people have been criticizing gay shipping for “erasing” platonic relationships, that by making every platonic relationship into a gay ship we are giving the idea that every interaction is inherently romantic and influencing the children into not understanding the difference between romantic and platonic relationships.
I want to start this by saying that I do believe that a lot of people don’t understand the difference between romantic and platonic relationships, but I don’t think it comes from gay shipping, I believe this development comes from many things. One example could be how society pressures people to find a relationship which leads to desperation and purposefully blurring the lines between romance and friendship because it’s better to have someone, even if you don’t really love them romantically and just enjoy their company, than to have no one. Another example could be how society used to have a heteronormative idea of relationships, if we all believed ourselves to be straight, than it was easy to just say “if I’m a woman all the women I get along with I only see as platonic, but if I get along with a man I must see it as romantic”, but now that we are expanding on the possibility that people of all genders can be both platonically or romantically involved with anyone of any gender, we are having to face the fact that romantic and platonic feelings are not solid concepts and we have to get philosophical with what is love and what constitutes love, and most people don’t like to think about that so they keep to their heteronormativity.
This are but only 2 reasons why I believe people don’t understand platonic and romantic relationships but I haven’t heard anyone say that because they be blaming gay shipping. I’m going to say that like with anything in life this has nuance and you can argue all you want but I’m going to say that I genuinely believe a good part of the people saying this argument are homophobes.
By stating gay shipping you are ultimately also adding gay relationships, gay shipping is just a step below from queer representation. So ultimately you are making the same homophobic argument that queer relationships shouldn’t be portrayed in media because it would confuse the masses and the children. We have fallen into the idea that complicated concepts as romantic and platonic relationships should be dumbify to appeal to a larger audience of straight people.
But I can hear someone argue “but shipping is a fandom thing not a show thing”. Well someone has been living under a rock because nowadays fandoms are an extension of the show, we are social media people, we thrive in social engagement in these online communities and fandom culture has been on the fucking rise. We can’t ignore that what happens within a fandom is how people ultimately portrayed the show, it’s the reason why a lot of people don’t watch things like mha because the fandom is weird and not because the show is bad. So by criticizing gay shipping within a fandom you are ultimately criticizing it as if it was part of the show.
Which leads me to Wenclair. I believed season 2 is truly going to be coming in a horrible time to be a minority, as people have been growing more homophobic and racist as time goes on. So people are going to extremely criticize the Wenclair ship, not because it’s a toxic or immorally wrong ship, but because it’s gay. People would criticize the show because they are going to go from friends to lovers. They would argue so much about the fact Wenclair is erasing a platonic relationship that they would forget that a foundation for many straight ships and real life relationships is friendship.
I don’t think friendship in media is dying. Within my example of Wenclair there are multiple moments of true friendships in the show. A big part of the Wednesday show was Wednesday learning to have allies and people she can trust to help her, but people would ignore does messages to jump about the fact the two main girls of the show are seen as more than platonic EVEN THOUGH BOTH OF THEM HAVE SOLID FRIENDSHIPS OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. It’s almost like the only problem is that they are both girls, because let’s be honest NO ONE is saying the same thing about straight ships, they straight ships are always super romantic and completely fine, even though we could argue that does ships also can confused people as to what is romantic and what is platonic.
And before anyone comes for me arguing that I’m taking this too far and that I’m just a sad gay who doesn’t understand we NEED same gender platonic representation (like we haven’t had enough of that in hundreds of centuries of media 😀) and that I’m just mad people criticize my gay ship. I am going to hold your hand and say. I don’t care if you hate a ship. You can tell me all you want that Xavier or Tyler are better potential partners for Wednesday and I would let you because that’s your constitutional given right, BUT if you are criticizing the ship not by personal preference but from the eyes of homophobia I am going to be mad and I’m going to be annoyed by it, because queer representation has JUST been on the rise, you can’t already be mad at it WHEN IT JUST STARTED. WATCH ANY SHOW IN ANY GENRE AND YOU WOULD FIND SAME GENDER COMPLETELY PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS, SO WHY MUST YOU BE MAD AT THE SLIGHT POSSIBILITY OF A SHOW DOING ONE, ONE!, CONTRADICTION TO THE NORM.
Shipping and canon gay relationships are not going to take away friendship, they are just helping people understand that there is not one way of being in love or one way of being involved with someone of the opposite gender, we are not stopping friendships. I would make the argument we are increasing it by making people analyze their interactions with people of even the opposite gender through the eyes of it being platonically. Because now gender is not a factor in friendships, you can be friends with anyone of any gender. Shipping shouldn’t be confusing you about it, you should think critically and analyze what you consider love.
I’ve seen a bunch of Buddie fans on twitter and tumblr getting excited because TV Fanatic just came out with a ‘why Buddie should happen’ article, (and I get it, PR is PR) but I read the article and was honestly just… really annoyed by it.
Did the writer REALLY need to include several paragraphs of ‘I’m not like those other shippers’ nonsense? Including saying the same tired bullshit that the homophobes do, about how we need to protect platonic male friendship and that it’s actually somehow toxic masculinity to think male characters could be queer? But that it’s just this *one time* where it’s justified, unlike all the others?
Many of those ‘other ships’ never went canon because of homophobia and heteronormativity, not because the subtext and queerbaiting weren’t really there.
We need to not throw other queer fans under the bus in order to justify why we should finally get what we want, because if Buddie *does* get its moment, it will be because we’re now in a different cultural moment with regards to television, not because of the moral superiority of this one particular ship.
And you know what MADE that different culture towards queer representation happen? Queer fans and shippers, agitating for better representation. For years, for decades, often underground, often facing the nastiest levels of harassment online and even offline, subjected to constant mocking, death threats, blatant homophobia, the works- all while trying to drag the media kicking and screaming into acknowledging the fact that queer people can be the heroes.
Where Buddie is at right now, whether it goes canon or not, (and where Buck is *already* as an out bisexual character, purely because fans kept talking about wanting him to be), is standing on the back of decades of shipping culture. Don’t disrespect that.
Maybe I'm just seeing more of this than usual since I'm in my biggest fandom in a long time but like. I feel like the kids today have very much forgotten that you're allowed to just...ship a thing. You're allowed to think the characters had interesting potential and just. Do the thing. You don't have to dissect eye movement and body language and where people are standing and stuff to prove it's canon- that stuff is chemistry, and it can be real and present without it being intentional. Doesn't make it any less real, but also doesn't make it some kind of conspiracy- there are movies from 70 years ago where actors had interesting chemistry that comes off homoerotic, but that certainly doesn't mean they were playing it that way on purpose. You don't have to wildly skew stuff actors say in interviews either, putting words in people's mouths is actually a little creepy.
I think we're at the point with queer representation and canon queer ships where we've had enough of it turn out to be real that we want it to always be real, and we feel like we have to prove it is real to feel valid in shipping it. I'm here to tell you that you don't have to do that.
I'm not saying those ships SHOULDN'T be canon, I'd love them to be. In some cases the story would be way better if they were. But you don't have to prove they were Canon All Along to be allowed to enjoy them. And if you hinge your enjoyment of a piece of media made by cishet people on the idea that the actors are going to confirm your ship was canon, or feel like you have to validate your ship by insisting it will become canon, I feel like you're just gonna end up disappointed.
This week we do some research and give brief thoughts on all the ships we don't plan to cover later in the podcast
There's a relatively new podcast called "Let the Boys Kiss" (@ltbkpod) that covers queer ships in various fandoms. Episode 7 (April 9) was about Johnlock, but of most interest to me is the latest episode, 8 (April 23), linked above. It's about "Ships We're Not Covering", and about 5 minutes and 40 seconds in, they start discussing Mystrade.
Short version: They don't get it. "I don't remember them interacting much" says one. Well, true, but when has that prevented imagination and shipping? "I feel like their only bond is that they're, like, the keepers of Sherlock." That's the starting point, yes.
Then they call Lestrade an idiot and point out Mycroft's lack of interest in human connection. Which leads them to finally getting to the point: "Maybe Lestrade is the one who breaks down all his walls." Yes! They think that's sweet but have nothing else to say about it.
I wish I'd written that essay I'm still envisioning about the appeal of the ship. Instead, I'll just say I'm glad other people have plenty still to say about it.
