#questingqueer

[pokemongo-codesandmore]

Let's be friends in Pokémon GO!

My Trainer Code is 6478 2383 0810!

Please do not comment on posts with your own code, if you want to share your code please submit it through this blog

[help-mypartner]

Trans couples exist and yes, we’re pretty great.

My partner and I (they/them for both of us) are going back to college today! We went to the same high school and now we go to the same college.

We’ve been together for a little over three years and we’re so happy together. I’m so lucky to be with them.

Happy TDOV from Lee @questingqueer (left) and Devon @jewish--ish (right)!

[zero-ohms]

Hi there! I’m moving (slowly) towards getting ALT phallo- I already have been to a consult with a lower surgeon and I have one WPATH letter and am working towards getting the second- but my thighs are thicker than I’d like. Do you have any tips/advice for a pre-op person (I’ll probs be getting lower surgery in 2 years) on losing thigh fat to get good ALT results? I’m around ~125 lbs rn so I can’t loose too much weight in general, but my thighs seem to hold most of my extra weight. Thank you!

Glad to hear that you’re moving towards your goal.

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to reduce fat in only one area of your body (Myth of Spot Reduction). You will need to lose overall body fat in order to decrease the amount in your thighs. Everyone holds their fat in different places. For example, my fat is mostly around the midsection, especially the lower ab area, but my legs are generally leaner. When I lose fat from exercise+diet, the fat from my legs is the first to go, and my midsection is the last. I don’t mean to discourage you, but if you are someone who tends to hold a lot of fat in your thighs, you should be prepared to have a larger girth from ALT. You may even need several lipo sessions before it comes down to a girth that you like. That’s not 100% the case, but you won’t know until your surgeon makes the cut. There are some very lean people who end up with large girths, and vice versa.

You can try the pinch test to see how much skin you can bunch up from your thigh. What I’ve also found to be a good way, is to extend your leg and flex your quad, and see how visible your muscles are underneath. If you don’t see much difference between the flexed and unflexed state, you may not be a good candidate for ALT. For ALT, there aren’t many tests that will tell you if you’ll be a good candidate, only tests that’ll show if your donor site may not be ideal.

Don’t just take my word for it though, your surgeon will be the best judge. They’ve seen much more than I have.

Otherwise, I’d say a committed fitness regime and diet will help you lose fat. 2 years will give you quite some time to work with, so it’s do-able. Just make sure you are committed to this option. There’s a lot of information on weight loss on the internet, but I’d be happy to answer any specific questions you might have on that as well.

[reesa-chan]

questingqueer replied to your post “Lies my doctor told me”

I think the first two things might be what’s typical for most people post-op, but the doc shoulda specified that it isn’t the case for everyone. For me, “You’ll be able to walk right out a few hours later” was accurate- I left the hospital day of my hysto walking fine and was able to walk to the town center the next day and so on, and I didn’t need any mobility aids. And that was the case for my friends who also had hystos, but obvs its a ymmv situation. I hope your recovery goes well!

Yeah, my frustration with the situation was not a belief that everyone’s experience echoed mine - I fully believe that a lot of people do come out of surgery with results that align with what he was promising me. 

Aside from the obvious ADA stuff, the thing that really angered me was the lack of discussion of the range of potential outcomes. There’s a difference between “the vast majority of people come out just fine, but there’s some variation” and “you WILL walk out free and clear and I won’t even address your concerns.” The complete refusal to discuss the potential for imperfect outcomes paired with his dismissal of my frustration after the fact was incredibly invalidating.

[galvanismistheconcept]

In your byf when you say "an inclusionist or some other homophobe" does inclusionist mean the ace discourse inclusion or something else?

yeah, i mean ace discourse inclusion.

let me explain my standpoint. while i support ace and aro folks, they’re not inherently lgbt and cannot reclaim the slur queer. 

the reason for this is that the initialism lgbt and, as such, the lgbt community are derivative of the actual lgbt movement, which fought/still fights against the oppression of those who were 1. trans or 2. same gender attracted. it’s inherently a political identity based on existing in spite of oppression.

ace and aro people might face discrimination for being ace and aro (in some cases severe discrimination), but they are not victims of systematic oppression on the sole basis of being ace or aro.

ace and aro people still do deserve their own spaces and their own community for being unapologetically ace, but lgbt spaces and the lgbt community are not the place to do that.

while there are some overlaps btwn ace/aro experiences and lgbt experiences, this does not mean that ace/aro people can invade lgbt spaces to talk abt these bc there are is far more to the lgbt experience than just what overlaps w the ace/aro experience and vice versa.

this does not mean that there shouldn’t be spaces where all these people can talk abt these overlapping experiences together, though.

what this does mean, however, is that spaces already designated lgbt should be left to lgbt people.

inclusionism is homophobic and transphobic for the reasons that it encourages the encroachment upon these spaces.

[trekpositive]

@questingqueer thanks for the advice!

[mylittleredgirl]

@questingqueer replied to your post “my love of ainsley hayes is not abating you guys but there is no more...”

My mom and I were very sad when she disappeared from the show, we were just talking about it yesterday!

I dreamed last night that there were Missing Episodes and in one of them, sometime after losing the election I think, Sam went to visit Ainsley in North Carolina... where she had gone back home to care for her father who was “dying” but apparently was time-traveling back and forth to the civil war (as one does?). Basically I feel this mystery has been solved: Ainsley’s steadfast dedication to Family Honor combined with time travel in North Carolina.

[datarobotsuggestion]

Date a robot who was made fun of