Due to what warpedvoxel (the ones who responded to us said) I've been considering options more. and I know I shouldn't be relying on people on the internet, but I still thank anyone who did or can give us insight to consider. I'm trying to get therapist to talk to, and I'm not sure I can find a doctor that specializes in Dissociative disorders, but I'm going to try, even if it takes a long time.
But I don't know I just feel stuck. I've been convinced by parts of myself before that I have some sort of DID/OSDD. But then I always pull out because of doubt. This just all feels so unreal. and I yes I'm very aware that one person on the internet telling me I might have something does not mean I actually have it. It's just something to open some doors of consideration. and because of that, IDK, I've been thinking of my name more. I don't know what wrong with me, I just feel like different people sometimes. It's never super distinct difference in how I feel, just that I feel like a different person, and sometimes like a different creature/or character. but ah point is, no matter what is wrong with me. I feel disconnected from my name, no matter who I feel like or how I feel. I like my birthname, but it doesn't feel like mine. It feels like it belongs to someone else. someone I used to be, but no longer am. and maybe I'm just feeding the delusion, but I'm trying to find a name that feels more like mine. I'm trying to figure out who I am, because I have no idea. I feel like I have no identity. there are small things that feel like fractures of identity, the different people I feel like. things like, the need to protect, or obey. I can feel happy or sad or excited or scared, but besides from that I don't know who I am. I feel like different people, but even then they too don't feel like individuals themselves either. The only one that feels clear is when I feel like Tommy. I just hope I can feel right someday.