#quick personal rant

[countryside-catholic]

My life has literally fell apart this year, but thank God it has.

I didn’t realise that so many things I thought were blessings, were harming me spiritually, psychologically and physically.

I’m so glad that I allowed God to tear those “blessings” out of my hands.

I’m in such a stronger place that I would never have expected in a million years.

God truly knows us better than we now ourselves.

“Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my plans than your plans”

[ratpiss-soda]

I got to where I am in life because I’m sweet and people seem to like me. I was given passing grades by teachers when I didn’t do any work for their classes, I would do badly and people would lie and say I did well to me and to my parents. And now that I think of it I would have really benefited from being held back. Sure I’d be embarrassed but I would have been given the time I needed to learn. I’m slow I didn’t learn to read till I was 7, I couldn’t ride a bike till 6th grade, I’m 22 and I can’t drive a car. I need time to pick up things. Pushing me forward even when I hadn’t learned what was behind me ended up being my downfall because I would forever get bad grades never understanding what was going on because I didn’t really learn what I should have the previous year. Trying to spare me embarrassment in the moment really destroyed my life. I just wish there was less of a stigma around the idea of learning skills slowly instead of quickly. Because there is really nothing wrong with my slow, because I’m slow I’m also careful, I’m precise, I took so long to learn it and now I can do it very well because I understand every piece. Im just saying let people take their time learning and get rid of the idea that being held back is a bad thing

[moogle-moghan]

I really wish that my friends in real life would realize I'm not as strong mentally as I say I am. Like I brush off mean things said to me like its nothing and stand up for them when its towards them but for me I'm in it alone, I just wish for once someone would see that I am very small and fragile (though I say other wise) and that I need help protecting myself too.

WOOP sorry mkay im out

[amiibro]

On online friends

Every time I tell anyone I'm going to stay with someone I met online, I hear the same joke advice. "You sure she's real?"  Yes. Yes I'm fucking sure. Assuming you somehow fake webcam conversations and phone calls, she's still someone who lives online. She has a tumblr account that's active for 8+ hours a day, a Facebook account that has been around for at least 2 years before I started talking to her (I know, I've stalked it to the beginning), not to mention DA, MSN, Skype and forum accounts. The sheer amount of effort to make a fake person out of Aria would be enormous, considering the photos and drawings she does every few days.

Not to mention I've talked to her parents, who have accounts of their own, as well as plenty of her friends. I've had a six person MSN conversation at once- either they're all lying about knowing her, or she's effing real. Creating several accounts for this many people would be a team effort, for years. And for what? Sure, I'm kind of witty, but I'm not much to look at, and make frycook-money. There's really no reason I can think of why someone would create a fake person out of her just to lure me to her place.

But try explaining any of this to my grandparents or uncles...