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Bruce: I'm probably one of the smartest and most skilled people in this building.

Clark:... Is your hand stuck in a candy machine?

Bruce: I paid for mY SKITTLES, I'M GETTING MY SKITTLES

Random bit:

My favorite customers from my job and why:

1. David- so sweet and kind. Never wants to bother staff

2. Number 11 guy- orders a number 11, it doesn’t exist but he is referring to a senior drink and does this to new people to make them panic

3. Old couple that does dates- orders fresh fish and they’re just cute

4. Chevy guy- is a manager at a Chevy dealership orders large fry and basket of fries he’s just nice

5. Different older couple- husband has dementia but the wife lets him order they’re cute

Just some lovely Umbrella Academy things for y’all. In the words of Diego, “Have a lovely day.”

LT: who's absent today?

Llama: *mumbles* my will to live

Sparrow: She meant people.

Llma: My will to live an I are apart so much it can be counted as separate entity.

School thingies

#quotes funny