Discover Top Posts Tagged with #quotes without context

Miss Haynes, if you're ever under a falling building and somebody runs up and offers to pick you up and carry you to safety, don't think, don't pause, don't hesitate for a moment, just spit in his eye.

#quotes without context #but you shouldn't need it

"Yes, but I will be five sexy pixels." -Me

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Yeah gang, they have a lot of health because YOU KEPT MAKING FUN OF THE FLOWER

#quotes without context #Critical Role #critical role spoilers

"What's the point of being a super buff 6-year-old if you can't even find any toilet paper!"

-My wife

#quotes #tumblr quotes #kids #toilet paper #no context #quotes without context

For me it's not enough to be a good rider, I want to be a centaur. - Ursula Le Guin

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#quotes without context #ursula leguin #quote #centaur #horse #ursula le guin

D&D Quotes Without Context

Ravenloft Edition, Fundertainment Land Arc part 2

Gunder: “Don't you know I'm dead inside?” Vesh: “Yes, that's the problem, we want you dead on the outside too.” Poom: "And all the other sides, too. Just to be safe.” Marshal: ”Management wants to make a show of my suffering. Of course we'd be going through their outdated knockoff Darklords.” Marshal: ”Count Strahdical (pronounced St-radical) was the leader here, back in the day.” Gorbash: “How insufferable was he compared to the real one?” Jonni: “Real one gave us goulash, so I’m guessing lots.” "Hunky Harkon, Adamazing, and... I always forget what the mummy was saddled with.” "They literally could not come up with anything dumber than Ankhtepot.” Marshal: ”By all rights, I should offer you all a chance to be in the union, but I served with each of you as Lord Soth-cool, and I know you all to be a bunch of knobs.” Strahdical points at you. "No. NO. IT IS YOU WHO IS THE KNOB!” "Time to cut the count up; 1, 1 blade strikes, 2, 2 blade strikes.” "You always thought you were SOOOO much better than us.” “I mean… he is…” "You never wanted to hang out with us and eat kids after hours.” Edmund is thinking. ”Hunktepot, Ankh I’m a little teapot, Ank the Poo…." GM OOC: You guys are basically getting your asses kicked by the Groovie Ghoulies. Azathoth: "Since when was this game a 90s Saturday cartoon?” Nyx: "Since about our first adventure where we dealt with a haunted house.” Strahdical: ”We call THAT the bite of 87. Fucking RECOGNIZE.” Nyarlathotep: "That you're a relic? O-kay.” Somewhere Vesh is suddenly filled with an urge to burn down an overpriced pizza parlor. OOC: No, that's what they want you to do. For the insurance money. "Gnarlytepot... Ankredibepot…." He stands there for a second. seemingly fine. "HA! YOUR PATHETIC ATTACKS ARE USELESS AGAINST ME!” Then his top half falls off. “SHIT!" It is just now that Poom arrives. "Sorry, I had to burn down the toilets to make them sanitary.........And you guys did fine without me.” “That’s great. I am bleeding very badly.” Poom: "So do we just set each one on fire till we find the mimics?” Jonni sighs. “Nyx, you’ve got the best hand eye coordination. Give it one shot before I become Death, destroyer of claw machines.” "I do NOT have a gambling habit!” “Is that why Strahd knows what you look like naked?” “You're right... YOU HAVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM!” Nyx: *rolls nat 20* Marshal: ”I did see that right? She just noclipped through the glass and grabbed the ticket?” Even though you are pretty sure the claw tries to deliberately drop it at some point, and when it drops it to your hand you swear the claw flips you off somehow. When the flash clears, where Marshal was standing now stands a four foot tall teddy bear in adorable armor. "Darn, if it is a curse it the weirdest curse I've ever seen. Into a statue or plant, sure. But a stuffed toy, never.” “You mean… other than last week when that happened to all of us?” "That felt more like genie magic, not a curse.” "Um what the fuck happened to Marshal?” "Revenge of the Claw Machine.” "I've only known Bitey for five seconds and if anything happened to them I would burn this world to cinders and piss on the remains.” Nyx carries Marshal teddy bear. Gorbash: “One or both of them are going to murder the rest of us in our sleep.” Poom: "That's why I sleep with both eyes open.” Vesh: ”Well I think I saw him reading a bellhop the riot act a little while ago.” Gorbash: “…The Fuck? I'm fairly sure I diced him into pieces…” Jonni: “Did he at least have robot parts?” Gorbash: “Wait... THAT MEANS I CAN KILL HIM ALL OVER AGAIN! There are positives to this situation.” ”SHAZAM!” fluffy marshal says, before with a thunderclap, flash of light and a cheap smoke bomb effect, he's returned to his proper form. Gorbash: “Could you do that this whole time?” Marshal: "I bore the price of my hubris, for as long as I tolerated it." Gorbash: “You forgot you could do it, didn't you.” Marshal: “…Yes.” Yog-sothoth: "Hey, Poom: we cheated and gave you Intellect Fortress. Get casting.” Poom: "So apparently now I can do Jonni's thing.” "Can I have a salad please? Thank you.” "Sure, you want Macaroni, Taco or Tuna?” “I could shit a better Turkey Leg. I should go back there and show them how to season huge chunks of meats.” "They always make these chairs sized for big people, I have to stand on it to see into the arena.” “I mean… you want the high chair or the kiddie stool? Those both seem bad options to me, but it’s your dignity.” Gorbash: “Marshal I think you've managed to piss off both of our old tormentors in one shot. Keep up the good work.” Jonni: “How bad could it be?……..It’s cool, I said it ironically.” Gorbash: “... Really?” "Good news. It doesn’t infect creatures... It eats the tadpoles. Bad news? It eats everything else too.” Gorbash: “It's a killing machine with mind powers. This is going to suck.” OOC: Behold my Champions levels of dice! Fear me! GM: The arena fills with scorched worm flesh, which smells slightly better than the turkey legs. OOC: Bad news… I can only do that once more. Good news, I did that from 60 feet away. Edmund murmured, clasping his holy symbol and bringing out a reliquary as it is filled with golden light and summons forth a figure garbed in blue. <"Peace be upon you, seekers of knowledge! I-- HOLY FUCK!”> Jonni: “I only understood those last two words, but it’s generally bad when the being of pure angelic knowledge thinks this shit is messed up.” "Incoming dragon steamroller!” Azathoth: "FINISH HIM!" Yog-sothoth: "Wrong part of the fight.” Poom puts her fingers to her head, a third eye opens up, and a wave motion beam comes out. Gunder sighs, and waves his hands, and several servers in peasents begin setting up a stand around the Neothelid and then begin carving it up to sell shanks on a stick for 10 GP a hock. Gorbash: “Damn it, now I have to waste 10 gold if I want a taste without licking the gore off my armor.” “You one a those angels can be a lady on command?” "I can be a lot of things.” "I am the angel TriVia, of where the three roads meet." Vesh comes up to Trivia "Welcome to the group. We just adopted you. No you don't get a say. Here's your introductory pamphlet.” Marshal wisely switches out Nyx's stein of Ruminating Jolt for something less likely to make her hyper. "Nooo, my Jolt! I haven't felt like I had this much energy since I was 5. Wheee!" Nyx goes running around with her arms out. Vesh takes it from you. "YOU DON'T NEED IT. YOU'RE ALL THE WOMAN YOU NEED TO BE.” Marshal: ”That, and I'm reasonably sure Danzi has it spiked with actual ruminating drugs.” “Okay, food is shit, entertainment tried to eat us. I say we cast sleep on Nyx and sleep this off.” So you guys all get as good a nights rest as you can (and consequently Gorebash spends half the night infllicting menacing attacks on the toilet). Poom (as she stare-sleeps from her armchair): "That's what you get for trying to buy all the neothelid.” GM OOC: Also does Gorebash have the beard yet? Gorbash OOC: Let me roll. Okay it's a 50/50 chance so 1 is beard 2 is no beard. *rolls a 1* Gorbash has become a beard dragon. OOC: I’m presuming that's a fryer, with what looks like bacon and potatoes in it? OOC2: I’m not sure, I think it’s the “American “ hot pot from a Japanese show. Hamburger and fries cooked in a pot of cola. OOC:…that hurts my brain, teeth and stomach all at the same time. OOC: Now I got the Winnie the Pooh song stuck in my head, imagining him wrapped up like a mummy… OOC2: I have the same problem every time I think about China.

#dungeons and dragons #dnd 5e #quotes without context #ravenloft

May I say, before you go: I think perhaps you are one of the most powerful mages that I've ever had the pleasure to be in the presence of. And for this, I would offer a gift. I think it has been a long time since anyone has pointed out to you that you're a fool. Pain doesn't make people, it's love that makes people. The pain is inconsequential. It's love that saves them. And you would know that, but you have none around you. You said so yourself, you surround yourself with lies and deceptions. And I wish for you, in the future, to find someone who will mourn you when you are gone. Respectfully