#ra shitpost

[vilewile]

Fun fact:

83.3% of any Ranger is just Anger.

[araluen-arrows]

i still can’t get over how halt, according to various canon timelines, apparently stole a herd of temujai ponies when he was fifteen and also not a ranger

[vilewile]

Careful, shitpost ahead

You're not going to tell me that Pauline is not at least a bit frustrated by the fact that, while she worked her ass off on diplomacy, her dear husband Halt "I-Choose-Violence" O'Carrick just went and got the most important treaty for Araluen in the last hundred years or so, and all that when he was banished.

For high treason.

It doesn't help that Halt decided to be very annoying about it. Like, for example:

Pauline: Really Halt, you could try to work on your diplomatic skills a little instead of throwing every difficult individual into a moat.

Halt: Actually, my diplomatic skills are quite fine. I'd like to remind you I drafted the treaty with Skandia while having absolutely no legal authority to do so.

Pauline:

Halt:

Pauline:

Halt: It was very diplomatic.

Pauline: One more word about it and you'll be sleeping on a fucking sofa for a year.

Halt: And who's undiplomatic now? Really Lady Pauline, that's no way to speak to foreign royalty.

Pauline:

Halt:

Pauline: I want a divorce.

[vilewile]

Let's play a game.

Give me a group noun for Rangers.

Wrong answers only.

[araluen-arrows]

joghd flsddksfj

aka Murder of the Author: a Comprehensive Post of Mean Names

- johnk

- jonathaniel

- flagpole

- flonkadonk

- flonky

- he who mustn’t be named

- flanny

- white cisgender heterosexual neurotypical sexist australian

- any variety of benedict cumberbatching you can think of

- jabberflocky

- [redacted]

[araluen-arrows]

ten ranger commandments

1. trust the cloak

2. honey belongs in coffee

3. thou shalt not pass up an opportunity to banter

4. u step on twig u die

5. if someone see you. don’t fucking move.

6. talk to your horse but don’t let anyone know you’re talking to your horse

6b. your horse always gets the last word.

7. marry couriers who r infinitely more competent than you are

8. shoot lots of things very fast

9. look up

10. be short

[araluen-arrows]

Horace: what's that you've got there

Will: a knife

Horace: and WHY do you have a knife walking down the street at night?

Will: ...cooking purposes?

[araluen-arrows]

it is extremely funny how will keeps naming his dogs some variation of “black”

like okay, canonically, we’ve now had shadow, ebony, and sable

like what the fuck is next? noir?? fucking obsidian??? how many fucking synonyms for black do you think flanagan can come up with huh