Tracer x Reader Commission for the darlin @rabbtit
~1300 words, unrequited love & past relationships
You thought about her often.
It was hard not to, she was the first girl you truly fell in love with, the first one who made you realize how you felt about girls.
You had so many good times together, even if when you were in high school it was kept a secret. Under the guise of best friends who just spent a lot of time together, you were together constantly, could hold hands without anyone batting an eye, sleepovers every weekend with cuddle sessions to die for.
But you had been young, and anxious about how the world would perceive you if they knew you were dating, so you kept it a secret. She always hated it and you knew, she was more than happy to be open about herself, but you were scared, and she respected in in silent resignation. It was the fake boyfriend that really set her off. He was one of the only people who knew that you and Lena were dating, and he didn’t say anything to anyone. Truth was he wanted to be your boyfriend more than just a fake boyfriend, but he would settle for this.
Lena however, couldn’t take seeing him dote on you and spoil you, even when you reassured her that nothing you felt for him was real, that you didn’t love him. You loved her. But it didn’t matter, She said it was too hard to watch, it was too hard to take in when she just wanted to be with you out in the open like he was.
And that was the end.
Of course everyone at school had just assumed that there was a fight between friends and you weren’t talking anymore, but you knew the reality, and when your eyes would meet hers in the hall, she would
--
It was autumn now, and autumn always reminded you of her. The colors, the smells, the warm clothes, big cups of spiced teas, you could list a thousand reasons. You tried to stop thinking about her but every time you saw a girl with brown hair and freckles your heart skipped a beat, hoping it was her, hoping you would see her.
So when you did see her, it was like your heart stopped. It had been years, but you still loved her, thinking back fondly on all the time you spent together, thinking about her lips on yours, her fingers in twine with hers. You were open about your sexuality now, no longer ashamed and forced into the closet by the people around you, and you felt like you could really could be yourself.
You hurried over to her, trying to be cool, calm and casual when you approached. She was holding hands with a redhead, and your heart dropped a bit but you kept your chin up, thinking you would be able to get her aside and talk to her in private.
“Lena! Is that you?” You called, tapping her shoulder, she turned to look at you and smiled that bright beaming smile of hers.
“Oh my god!” She said, “I haven’t seen you in years!” She turned her body to hug you and you felt the butterflies in your stomach, hugging her back and holding on tight.
“This is Emily,” She said, when she pulled away, far too fast for your tastes, introducing the redhead by her side, who waved and gave a cheerful, “Hello!” before Lena turned her face back to talk to you, “We’re out shopping for some gifts for Em’s niece, but if you want we can go for a coffee sometime and catch up? I still feel weird about how we left off.” She said, her eyebrows slumping in sympathy, maybe she missed you too, you hoped.
You both said quick goodbyes, making plans to meet up at a local cafe for coffees later this week and exchanging numbers, and as soon as you walked away, clutching your phone to your chest as you walked away. Sure you felt jealous about Emily, but you missed her so much, and were so ready to catch up with her.
--
You got dressed up in your cutest outfit, ready to impress and confess to her how you felt after all these years, how you still felt the same way for her that you always had. You wanted to tell her that she was the one who got away, that you thought of her always and would do anything to make her happy.
She wasn’t there when you got there, and you marked it up to the knack she always had for being late, and sure enough after you took a seat at the table outside and ordered your drink, waiting for the waitress to return with it, she approached the cafe, looking like she was hurrying along.
“Sorry I’m late!” She said, waving at you and sitting down opposite you at the table, wide smile on her face.
“It’s not problem!” You cheered, matching her smile with your own, “I’m just happy to see you again!”
The waitress brought out your drink, and took Lena’s order, and the two of you began catching up. She had been up to so much since you had last seen her, and she filled you in on everything you had missed, she told you about the slipstream and her disappearance, told you about becoming an Overwatch agent to protect the world. She had done so much since you had last seen her, and it was making your own accomplishments seem dwarfed by the grand scale of what she had done.
You had long finished your drinks and snacks, sitting at the table still talking, it was so natural to talk to her, like you had never really stopped. But a soft rain began to fall, and you opened your umbrella to hold over the two of you.
“I guess this is a cue to leave then,” She said with a chuckle, touching your hand that you had rested on the table, “It was so nice to see you again, I hadn’t realized how much I missed you.”
“I could say the same,” You said, standing as she did, and keeping the umbrella over her to keep her dry. You knew you had to act now or you wouldn’t have the nerve to do it, “Lena I really missed you, I have for a while. It sounds stupid but I’ve never loved someone like I love you, even though I’ve tried.”
The smile on her face faltered a bit, and she looked away from your face now, seeming like everything except for you was what she was interested in. “Oh, Well I have Em, you know. I can’t--”
“But we were so good together,” You said, hating how pleading and desperate your voice must sound to her, “We could be better together now! I’m different, I don’t have to hide now! I still love you, Lena.”
“But I don’t.” She said softly, looking up to your eyes now, her brown eyes fixed upon yours, sad and serious about what she had to say, “It’s not the same for me now, Everything has changed. This isn’t about you.” She paused a moment, but you couldn’t speak. You were holding back tears in your eyes, somehow this hurt more than when she broke up with you in high school, “I hardly even know you anymore. I can’t do this again.”
And then she left, quicker than she had come, leaving money on the table that you hadn’t even seen her take out, and gone in a flash. The tears fell down your cheeks now, hot in contrast to the cool autumn air and cold mist of rain falling from the sky. You were stunned, not sure what exactly you expected but that harsh of a shutdown certainly wasn’t this.
So this was unrequited love? You would say that it is definitely not as poetic as all those sonnets and stories made it seem.
i never had a furby as a kid (don't think i even knew what they were tbh, wasn't something any of my friends had n i was born in 96) but now i WISH i had one when i was little, im getting one soon , these little things are shaped like friends. im hyperempathic and get emotionally invested into inanimate objects so i think it'll be cool to have my very first furby. jm so excited!!!! i wanna take it everywhere I go
only overwatch dream i had was a week ago, winston was beating the shit outta me for some reason like throwing me all around the goddamn map idk which one in his steroid monkey form and i wasn't even fighting back i was just like "tf bruh why are you doing this" the entire time shit was weird
Why take a plane when a monkey SCIENTIST can hurl you across the map!
